DJ Waters comes home

DJ Waters comes home

Hooray! DJ Metsing is coming back home after months in exile. Mmmmmmm. Phew!
Muckraker has missed him dearly. And that is not because he looks like an ideal candidate for a blesser. No, Muckraker has no such designs on him because she can earn her own money.
In any case Metsing looks like he is stingy.
You know a man is a penny-pincher by his suits. Forget their quality and focus on their size. Metsing can buy the best suits but doesn’t want to spend a cent to adjust the arms so they don’t cover his palms.

So Muckraker’s excitement has nothing to do with Metsing being a potential nyatsi.
What she missed about the man is his mellow voice that sounds like a lullaby. Metsing can deliver the most devastating threat with the softest voice.
And when you ask him why he has uttered such menacing words he will look at you with his head on his shoulder and palms pressed together: “Ha ua nkutloisisa. Ke mpile ka re ke be Mosamaria ea Molemo hle. Ua tseba hore ha kea koetla lehloeo la letho. Ke utloa bohloko haholo haeba u ’nahanela ntho tse litšila hakaalo.” (You misheard me. I only was playing Good Samaritan. You know I have not threat in me. It hurts me deeply that you could think such evil thoughts about my words.)

And when he is under attack he will cast his eyes down and slowly explain himself.
“Ke sitoa ho utloisisa hore na hobane eng batho ba nkuka hampe hakana. Le ’na ntse ke le ngoan’a Molimo. Tsena ke liketselletso tse tsoang ho lira tsa ka.” (“I cannot understand why people have such callous designs on me. I too am a child of God. All these allegations are lies from my enemies.)

Remember how he behaved when the DCEO came after him. He sprinted to the court hand over head and bellowing.
“A k’u bone hore na batho ba lonya ban aba nkets’ng. Ba hlorisa ngoan’a Molimo,” (Look what those mean people are doing to me. They are persecuting a child of God), he said through his lawyers. And when he lost he galloped to the Court of Appeal where he tried to sell his story again.

Even when he lost there too he still could not understand why the DCEO could persistently harass him so much.
“Batho ba h’eso, ke entse’ng?” (What bad have I done to these good people)
Metsing sounds like he can sweet-talk a nun out of a nunnery. The only people he has failed to charm are the voters and Uncle Tom. Uncle Tom wants him jailed and voters are abandoning his ailing LCD in droves.

It will be a miracle if Metsing’s supporters can fill a wheelbarrow.
He will probably come back home to find his offices deserted.
Soft-spoken as he might be, you can never accuse Metsing of being a weakling.

History has proven beyond reasonable doubt that he has a little thug in him.
Remember how he spanked Size Two of the LCD a few years ago. He won the war of attrition because he wasn’t using much energy on talking or complaining. His focus was on nocturnal meetings and using others as paws to scratch Size Two’s face. In the end Size Two just bellowed out of the party he founded and looked for another home.
After the election Metsing charmed his way into Uncle Tom’s heart and, for once, it looked like the marriage was going to last.

Trouble only started when Uncle Tom accused Metsing of having long fingers. It must be a sign of Metsing’s persuasive skills that he even managed to reengage with Size Two after his acrimonious divorce with Uncle Tom.

Some things are just obvious. Former PS Mosito Khethisa needs our prayers to see the wisdom in seeking his own redemption. It’s a simple prayer that implores the Almighty to give Khethisa the insight to introspect, dump his arrogant ways and find somewhere to hide in shame.
You see, Khethisa is pretending to forget that he has a criminal history.

He is yet to finish his rehabilitation but is already perambulating the streets with a spring in his step.
Now he is in the public’s glare again talking big while hoping people have forgotten his shenanigans at the finance ministry.
You have to hand it to Khethisa and other elites in this country.

They don’t give a rat’s behind what everyone, especially the great unwashed, think about their tomfoolery. What matters is that they are eating with shovels.
It doesn’t take them long to move on from humiliating setbacks. Look how Khethisa has quickly found a new home at Meraka Lesotho, a foreign company with a dash of Basotho flavour.
And he still doesn’t get it. His arrogance towards the poor was in abundant display at a recent meeting with farmers and meat retailers.
The bone of contention remains that Meraka was controversially granted the beef monopoly based on some flimsy reasons. It is the only abattoir and beef importer in the country.
Khethisa doesn’t see anything wrong with this patently unfair arrangement.

Instead he haughtily dismisses concerns from the farmers. He thinks those who are complaining about Meraka’s prices are cry-babies and says those resisting its monopoly are stooges of South African capitalists that want to milk every penny from Lesotho. In defending himself he exudes arrogance.
There are some things that cannot be defended but Khethisa thinks there is always a way to push back because he is privileged.

“They say my prices are high but my prices are very competitive and reasonable in the market,” he told the meeting with a plump face devoid of any iota of shame.
The market he was referring to is the one in which his company is the only player. Meraka competes against itself but Khethisa thinks its prices are “competitive”.
This illogical and silly argument comes from a man who went quite far in school. He probably knows that he is talking tosh but he doesn’t care because he thinks he is talking to the great unwashed.

But you only need common sense to see that he is pooping gibberish. For a price to be considered competitive it must be measured against other prices. He also had a defence against those who said Meraka is now dabbling in government tenders.

“I am more than willing to bow out of small tenders,” he said as if the farmers and wholesalers were complaining about small tenders.
Khethisa blinked a bit and then adjusted his jacket before getting to the real reason why he was prepared to leave the crumbs to the wholesalers.
“They can have those and I can have big ones and it becomes a win-win situation,” he said.

So is a win-win situation for everyone because he is having the big ones while wholesalers are scrambling over small ones?
This comes from a boss of an abattoir that sells meat to individuals.
And you think we are going anywhere as a country?

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