Farting in church

Farting in church

A joke that is not funny is like a loud fart in a church. Both bring shame to their source. There is a moment of silence that happens after your joke falls flat.

And when it becomes apparent that your attempt at humour has horribly failed you count those excruciating seconds before someone changes the subject.

The conversation will move on but the people will never forget your pathetic attempt. When your joke is not funny you become the joke.
The same happens with a fart in a church. People are stunned into silence when you unleash that thundering sound. All eyes turn to you as if you have committed a grievous sin. You agonisingly wait for someone to rescue you with a hymn or an “Amen”.

The sermon will continue but people will never forget the gas you sprayed in the House of God. What is happening in the ABC is a blend of a bad joke and a loud fart in a church.

We are told that the party has now abandoned plans to replace Uncle Tom as leader. That is the bad joke part of the issue.
The decision means that the party will continue to be led by an octogenarian who is clearly way past his sell-by-date. That is the loud-fart-in-the-church part of the story. That the party wants to be led by an 80-something old man is not funny but it stinks.

If they get their wish Uncle Tom will lead them until he is 85.
This is the same man whose wife said was frail and critically ill. It was the Feselady who announced that her sweet 80 has Alzheimer’s and prostate cancer. ABC MPs have told us that Uncle Tom could not remember what he ate a few minutes ago.

They tell sad stories of how the man would disappear into a deep slumber during cabinet meetings. Yet the party insists he is fit to lead them into the future.
It will be funny were it not so tragic. That this silly idea is being peddled by young people reveals that we have a generation of empty heads.
Instead of looking forward to a bright future we can only tremble in trepidation at what lies ahead for our kountry.

But don’t be hoodwinked, for there is method in this madness.
The ABC has seized on this duff idea as a strategy to manage its succession battles. They would rather have a scarecrow in the leader’s position than risk losing it to another faction. And that is not something learned from books.

It’s an old trick of cowards. At its core is the idea that if I cannot have it then no one else should have it. More like pouring sand in your own food to spite rivals.

They learned it while playing football in the villages.
You might recall how the one who owned the ball would confiscate it if he was not picked in the team. Remember the little rascal who would kick the ball to the bushes when he wasn’t in the team. The ABC people are back to those playgroup days.

Only this time it’s a bad joke and it stinks. The one who bewitched us is long dead. Sandawana can’t help. Nxa!

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