How to love Mapesela

How to love Mapesela

MUCKRAKER likes Minister Tefo Mapesela because he doesn’t pretend to be in charge of his mouth. Mapesela will say the first thing that comes to his mind.
The beauty about such people is that they rarely lie about their emotions.
If he is pissed he is pissed.
They never pretend to be clever because they know they are not very smart.
They win by shouting and not lucid reasoning.
And for a politician that is a potent skill because politics is never about thought but shrieking.
With Mapesela, what you see is what you get.

You have to admire the naïve honesty he exudes every time he opens his mouth.
He doesn’t even know if he is punching above his weight.
Mapesela will still be speaking his mind even when he has been shoved under a moving bus.
Call it what you may but there is something sexy about a man who risks all just so he can have the last word in an argument.
At least he stands for something unlike dubious characters in the government.
For the past three weeks Mapesela has been throwing tantrums over the security chiefs who he says are getting too used to him like the road to a VIP toilet.
He has threatened to spank them into line.

Imagine Commissioner Molibeli dancing to Mapesela’s sjambok.
How about Lieutenant General Letsoela saying “ichuuuu” as Mapesela unleashes his whip on him?
Predictably, the army and police bosses have largely ignored him because they know that his words do not matter.
They know that he thrives on profanities and threats.
So his screams will soon disappear like a fart.

The security bosses also know that when push comes to a shove Uncle Tom will choose them over him.
The choice is not difficult.
Mapesela has a constituency while the commander has the army.
Mapesela has voters while the commissioner has the police.
Mapesela can shout on radio but the NSS boss knows things about him and his boss.
Muckraker suspects Mapesela knows all this but he just cannot contain himself.
He just cannot resist the temptation to have a street brawl.

He cannot fire the army boss but it makes him feel good to say that he can.
He cannot punish the police commissioner but the little man in him just cannot shut up.
And this is the trouble with Uncle Tom’s government.
It is overflowing with lots of Mapeselas. They are the face of the government.
The strategists have been elbowed out to the fringes.

In the ring are characters who like spurring over trivial issues.
Sadly, they think they are defending the government when they are embarrassing it.
This is why we are in this humongous mess. The rank marshals are driving the buses.
The drivers are now conductors and the bus owners are passengers. The gods of comedy keep on giving. Laughter is the best medicine.
May this drama never end so that those who put all their hope in politicians learn the lesson.
Slowly but surely the ululation has died down.
We hear the zealots grumbling about the government.
What is left is for them to just admit that they were useful tools in a game whose rules they have not mastered.

Politics is a mean game played by thugs.
“Major victory for Mahao faction,” so screamed the headline in a local weekly.
Startled, Muckraker dashed to get a copy.
But like all newspaper headlines, this one turned out to be a damp squib. Laden with fury but bereft of substance.
Not that they had concocted the ‘victory’ for Mahao. They were right but they had shouted louder than they should.
In any case, the real story wasn’t in the ‘victory’ but the embarrassment of Sister Justice ‘Maseforo Mahase whose inane judgement had been treated like trash by the Court of Appeal.
The short story is that three weeks ago Justice Mahase delivered a stunningly incompetent order declaring the ABC’s special conference unlawful.
This she did without hearing from people who had a vested interest in the matter.
She scrambled to deliver that judgement within a few hours yet for three months she had been dilly-dallying on almost a similar case challenging the election results of the same special conference that she was now declaring illegal.

Such bungling is breath-taking and the Court of Appeal judges were justifiably flabbergasted and disgusted.
Their response was clear: take this stinking dung back to the High Court before we suffocate.
They didn’t have to hold their noses to show that there was a stench in that judgement.
It was as clear as the fact that the total number of LCD supporters can no longer fill a wheelbarrow.

The contempt from the Court of Appeal judges would have been enough to send Justice Mahase hiding in a gutter at the Palace of Justice.
But before she could find the dirtiest hole they clobbered her with another decision.
They said the case must be heard by another High Court judge.
That was a diplomatic way of telling Justice Mahase to keep her mitts off that case.
More like saying she should find somewhere else to play.
In human resources lingo this is neither a gentle censure nor a transfer.
It’s a dismissal on the basis of incompetence.
It’s similar to what happens in the rural areas when men want to discuss serious issues and they suspect one of their own bearded kind is a dimwit incapable of any substantial contribution to the matter at hand.

One elder will gently tell the excuse of a man to help the boys skin the goat or buy joala somewhere far.
The same has happened to Justice Mahase. She has been told to find the cows for the morabaraba game she is not allowed to play.
Suddenly, the sister is a spectator in a case she thought she had properly handled.
The Court of Appeal Judges said to her: You know fokol because your judgement is fokol and we don’t give a rat’s behind about it.
That leads Muckraker to officially announce that the judge has now deservedly earned her nickname as Justice ‘Masefokol Mahase.
Let no one raise a finger when Muckraker uses that nickname from now on.
She deserves it. You know you are not trusted when the task you thought you had performed well is given to someone else.
Muckraker can live with thieves, prostitutes, liars and morons.
She has all those in her life.
What she will never tolerate are hypocrites. So thieves should not cry when someone steals their things.
Liars must embrace their lies and those of others.

Morons should embrace each other without a hint of judgement.
No prostitute should judge another prostitute. It’s that simple.
The problem with hypocrites is that they go beyond just sinning. It’s one thing to sin and quite another to condemn others of committing the same sin.
The point is that sinners must keep their accusatory fingers to themselves.
That is why Muckraker was shocked that Justice Mahase could not resist the alluring power of hypocrisy.
In her moaning letter to Justice Mosito, she accuses the Court of Appeal of delivering a judgement without following procedure.
She has the audacity to stand atop Thaba-Bosiu and lecture the Court of Appeal judges about the importance of observing due process.
One of cries is that five Court of Appeal judges heard the ABC’s appeal and delivered a judgement a few hours later. Yet she did the same in the same case when it was before her.
She says the case was filed without following due process yet a few days ago she was busy hearing the same case when she knew that interested parties had not been cited in the papers.
At least the Court of Appeal judges were hearing everyone involved in the case.
There were several lawyers too.
And the gallery had some visitors.
Can Justice Mahase tell us who else was there when she heard the same case a few weeks ago?

Nka! Ichuuuuuuuuuuu!

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