Joang vs Machesetsa

Joang vs Machesetsa

Let’s deal with two rumours before we delve into the pith of this week’s matter. One is nasty and the other one hilarious.
The first one is that a certain minister soiled himself at a rally.
The second is that some old horse at the Independent Electoral Commission (IEC) is hoofing employees because he wants his per diem so that he can indulge in his plane hopping hobby.
The issue is not whether the allegations about the minister are correct. What irritates Muckraker is that some perverted characters find the whole issue comical.

Even if we assume that it’s true, the point remains that a whole man soiling himself is no laughing matter because we really don’t know what could have triggered it.
It could be a serious health issue. Besides, there is no point making fun of a man who would have suffered such humiliation.
The rumour says the man sprinted from one toilet to the next in desperation but all were locked. That means he tried to do the right thing. The issue should be about the morons who lock toilets as if they are bedrooms.
Anyone who locks a pit latrine is mean. To the minister, Muckraker says: Worry not comrade for there is nothing to be ashamed of. What matters is that you did not spray someone with the stuff. Keep your head high.

Now let’s turn to the horse at the IEC. This one is comical because a former judge who is about to reach 80 years on this earth still insists on behaving like a teenager.
Muckraker is told that he has been bellowing at IEC employees who are reluctant to pay his per diems for some nonsensical junket he is planning.
He is lashing out at anyone who asks him about his contract. That’s because he has no contract and should not be getting a cent from the IEC. He is resorting to some pathetic argument about his contract being processed.

IEC officials are saying they don’t work on a promised contract but an actual contract. And that makes sense either way you look at it, unless you are some aging bully who wants to push his weight around.
You don’t pay someone based on a promised contract.
A promise of a contract is not a contract.
Anyone who thinks they have a right to enjoy the benefits of a promised contract is daft.
All this is happening because the old man is head-over-heels in love with aeroplanes.

Muckraker hears, from the rumour mill, that if the man wants to fly to Cape Town he will insist on first flying to Zambia, then Swaziland, then Johannesburg and then connect to Cape Town. All this because he wants to spend as much time as possible in a plane.
No wonder he starts all his sentences with statements like: “when I was in Edinburg”, “when I was in Zurich”, “when I was in Kampala”.
It’s a pity he cannot afford a personal jet.
Grow up Morena!

Political contests are supposed to be serious matters because they are about things that matter. So we thought, until Joang Molapo and Machesetsa Mofomobe started tussling for the deputy leader’s position in the Basotho National Party (BNP).
Molapo and Mofomobe have blatantly refused to infuse some substance into their contest.
Instead they are wallowing in the gutter with zest, each trying to prove that he is more childish than the other.
The result is balderdash of epic proportions.

What was supposed to be a battle of ideas and ideals has been turned into a street brawl where noses are split, eyes gouged and ears are wringed for no other reason apart from comparing who is the greatest.
In just seven days the two ministers have proven beyond reasonable doubt that they are political novices masquerading as leaders.
None wants to let go of the handful of mud he is holding. None is interested in rising above the bunkum this fight has become. We should be laughing were this not a reflection of the kind of characters in whose hands we have thrust the fate of this country.
How did a battle for a leadership position become so trivial yet so toxic?

Well, it all began when Molapo started crowing about his political credentials. He said he was a seasoned politician while Mofomobe was a prevaricating political upstart who does not keep his promises.
That sounded like fair campaign banter until Mofomobe raised the ante. The same could be said of his cheap shots about Mofomobe being ‘immature’ and ‘unfit’ to lead the party.
All those do not become true because Molapo has said so.
He is saying so because he has nothing more significant with which to undermine Mofomobe’s candidature.
If Mofomobe had any policy handicap Molapo would have said so. Immaturity and unfitness are matters of opinion, not fact.
But Mofomobe thought it was time to bring out his sjambok to whip Molapo. He said Molapo had globetrotted with a girlfriend on the government’s expense.

Ouch! It was a singing attack that got many rumour loving ears dancing with joy. Yet if Molapo was squirming in pain at that lash, then he should have steeled his body for something nocuous Mafomobe was cooking.
Mofomobe said Molapo was a MKP (Metsing-kissing-politician). Now that is below the belt because we all know that it has long become a crime to kiss Metsing. For those who don’t know, Metsing is that reviled leader of a once great party called the Lesotho Congress for Democracy. He is blamed for everything that has gone wrong in the country, including weather and soil erosion.
And these accusations stick because the man has neither charisma nor talent to defend himself. Those who pretend to speak on his behalf are charlatans who think shouting about Kamoli is the only political message there is to sell to a largely aloof public.

So when Mofomobe mentioned Molapo in the same sentence with Metsing he knew what he was getting at. Floored, Molapo scrambled for his own salvos.
He said Mofomobe was a little dictator who expels people from groups because he doesn’t tolerate dissenting voices.
He said Mofomobe threatens subordinates and pays people to keep his secrets safe.
He denied the girlfriend story and swore that he has only travelled with his wife.
Then as a parting shot he said he also has secrets on Mofomobe.
Now at this juncture Muckraker invites you (reader) to take a glass of water, sit on a rocking chair and think hard about what you have learned from this scurrilous episode. Here we go: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. If you are still pondering this matter then you have a morsel of dung in your head.

There is nothing to preoccupy your mind here because this is just claptrap. That the two men are using such primitive political tools to knock each other out shows how low the BNP has sunk. No, Muckraker lies.
It is a reflection of the dearth of ideas within the BNP. The two men cannot debate issues because there are no issues to discuss. Little wonder only 30 000 out of the more than half a million registered voters found it was prudent to vote for the party. The party has been on a slippery slope for the past 30 years.
In each of the last three elections is has not gone beyond 40 000 votes.
The reason is clear: it is a party strangled by its toxic legacy.
Yet the likes of Mofomobe and Molapo, who should be addressing such issues, are majoring in minors.

Mafomobe talks about fornication as if that is something taboo in a country where hanky-panky is a national pastime.
If he thought he was exposing something scandalous then he missed the point. Zero point is what he gets.
Molapo talks about immaturity and unfitness in a country where almost every second person acts below their age and is holding a position way above their acumen and qualification.
We have incompetent judges, police officers, soldiers, teachers, directors, ministers and PSs.
So if Molapo thought he was on to something sizable then he went off topic. He too deserves a zero.
Their battle should be about who can take the party forward. Molapo should be telling us why he thinks his experience is crucial in the revival of the BNP’s waning fortunes.

As an engineer, he should be telling us how he will engineer the party’s growth and survival.
Mofomobe should be telling us how he will use his youthful exuberance to take the party to another level.
He should be telling us about his skills and not his rival’s alleged hanky-panky.
The only fornication he should be trying to stop is that of the BNP as a party. This is a party that has resorted to sleeping with other parties to get into power. Currently it is a loyal nyatsi to the ABC. No, it is doing much worse. It is having a foursome. It is in government because one of its boyfriends is a congress party. Phew!
It even slept with the LCD at one time. Who sleeps with the LCD, of all parties?
The only prostitution we should be talking about is that of the BNP. It is clear that the party would be nowhere near government if it did not prostitute.

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