Just bath, moghel !

Just bath, moghel !

LET’S bin the jealous and admit that what is good is good. Suppress the envy and just soak in the beauty.
Milk cannot be seasoned. Lesotho’s mountains are pristine.
Sanko was a fabulous composer. Cura is funny but Metsing is catching up in the comedy competition. Muckraker is a decent writer (wink, wink, wink).
Justice Nthomeng Majara is a stunner. She is in her mid-fifties but puts women half her age to shame.
There is no secret to her gorgeous looks.

Stay the hell away from those ciders and see how your skin will radiate in a few days.
Your wrinkles and phuza face are of your own making.
Your body was never designed to withstand pounding from wine that comes in boxes. Fourth Street wine is not your friend. Any wine that comes in a box or in bottles bigger than 750ml is cheap stuff.

Those who drink it are as cheap as it is. There is nothing as horrible as a woman drunk on cut-rate wine. Get a glass of class if you want to be classy.
The idea is not to get knocked out but to oil the evening. Never use wine to wash down balls of makoenya. That’s just gross.
If you keep drinking to drown your sorrows there will come a time when your sorrows will learn to swim.
Jog a little bit: there is no pride in being obese.

Have a sense of humour: you are not a stone.
Take a bath, moghel. Just bath!
Stay away from random melamu (the flesh ones). And learn the delicate art of applying make-up before you smudge your face with that powder.
You might be shocked that your face does not need all that marmoran.

Lastly, learn to audit and edit men you allow into your space. Some are just miserable freeloaders bent on sucking your oxygen, pocket and happiness.
They are fleas that disturb your peace. Fumigate such tosh and you will smile more. Does Muckraker see you nodding that weaved up head? You are welcome, moghel!

The life lessons dispensed, let’s get back to sister Majara, she who is being lynched by powerful men in our dithering government.
While enjoying her per diem at a conference in Australia, the men contrived to sabotage her joy with a missive suspending her.
She cannot say she was overly surprised by that uppercut for she has been boxing the men for months.

Her crimes, according to the government, are as clear as a donkey’s nose. Muckraker now sees that there is a ruse here.
They say she is living large at the government’s expense and she cut corners to get the state to rent her a house belonging to another judge.
That sounds reasonable until you see where other judges are staying.

Here is what most people in government will not admit: our judges stay in hovels.
The government insists on calling them state houses but they are just pigsties.
Majara is being punished for wanting class, something every senior government official is shrieking about.
Just look at Majara’s skin, smile, step and swagger. Surely she is no girl to stay in a kraal like other judges.
There are some women who will say she is just like us.
Yeh, right!

You say that because you have not reached her position. Were you in her position you would be demanding that magistrates carry you around.
Look how Standard Threes are making people run like headless chickens in this country. Her other crime is that she has failed to clear the backlog of cases. Phew!
Hypocrisy is an odd thing. Which government employee has cleared any backlog?

Parliament has a backlog of laws to pass and amend. The government is behind on payments to suppliers.
The reforms are behind schedule and the parastatals long overdue for some spanking.
Yet Uncle Tom has the audacity to bludgeon Majara for the backlog she did not even create.
It’s not as if she was given any specific deadlines to clear the backlog.

And even if she had the timelines, it’s clear that she had neither the financial nor personnel means to achieve it.
She is heading a bench teeming with indolent judges who are forever grouchy about benefits and other entitlements. There are some slothful characters at the Palace of Justice.
Rumour has it that some have been demanding beds for afternoon naps.

They claim to be working hard, but we all know that they are busy scheming on how to dodge work.
If they are not idling around, then they are cooking up some pathetic judgements.
Muckraker has encountered some characters who write judgements and then read the arguments later.
There is no doubt that Majara could have done better if she has been given the resources.

It is however ironic that Majara is being shoved before an impeachment tribunal when Justice Lehohla, the headmaster of the backlog, was richly rewarded with a post at the Independent Electoral Commission. If you want to learn the art of creating a mess and still escape untainted, Justice Lehohla should be your mentor.
Now read Muckraker’s lips when she says the government will have to move mountains to get rid of Majara.
She will not go without a fight.

She might be a cute face but has a big fight in her. And she might just win because she is fighting unsophisticated bureaucrats and politicians who act and think later.
Nothing short of blatant chicanery will deliver victory to this government.
Look how they are now pushing the frontiers of mediocrity in a bid to push her out.

But what infuriates Muckraker is that the sisters of this country stand arms akimbo while another sister is fighting a battle. Put that down to petty jealousy or just foolishness.
A few weeks ago, hordes of women gathered at a local hall for pitiking, a traditional event that celebrates womanhood. Muckraker was there, gyrating and bum jiving like others.
Buttocks vibrated and breasts shook. Life was good.

But as Muckraker stomped the dance floor, half-naked, she could not help but wonder why women could not show the same unity when it comes to the other ills affecting them.
There in the midst of sweaty-drenched bodies she realised that we are just a misdirected bunch. We unite for trivialities and mischief at the expense of fundamental things.
We think Majara’s fight is hers alone. Nyoe, nyoe, nyoe, ke taba ea hae. Nyoe, nyoe, nyoe, she is a thief of money.
Yet there you are stealing tissues from government toilets, parcelling jobs to your relatives and pretending that you cannot balance the petty cash accounts because you have pinched some.
You too are probably a thief of money, boyfriend and husband.

You are stealing information under the guise of being a friend so you can gossip about her.
Still, the point here is not that Majara has done something wrong. It is about a sister who is being hounded out of office while other sisters are dancing at pitiking.
This is about women who don’t support other women in times of trouble. We want to unite on grocery stokvels but don’t collaborate on national issues.
Until we see that the political, economic and social systems are rigged against us we will forever remain the punching bags of the world.

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