Let the bellies kiss

Let the bellies kiss

Now we can only imagine what would have happened if Tefo and Tsatsanyane had pummelled each other.
But before we let our imagination run wild we should get a few things straight.

Tummies cannot unleash uppercuts or kicks. They are just tummies full of…you know what.
Now that this notorious fact is cleared Muckraker can open the door to the naughty nooks of her splendid mind.
You see, there was no way those two potbellied chaps would have fought.
The fact that they argued in public meant they wanted to be stopped.

Real fighters make an appointment for a bone-breaking, jaw-cracking and face-bashing session in the veld, far from spectators.
Second, if you want a fight you don’t approach the other man and start using your mouth instead of clobbering.

You just dive in, bite, beat and kick. Words will come after the injuries are inflicted.
But let’s assume that the argument was a preamble to a real fight.
Muckraker has no doubt that both men would have fainted after a few blows. They badly need a gym. Food is not your friend, my brothers.

Mokherane would probably tire himself by just missing Mapesela’s head.
Mapesela would pass out before he gets a stick to use on Mokherane.
Being a rural man, he cannot fight without instruments. He would not have grabbed a fork because he probably thinks it’s sacred. Remember he only started using it when he came to Maseru at 32.

Honestly, Mokherane cannot fight. He is fast with cars, not fists.
Either way, this would have been a great spectacle. Muckraker is praying that it happens soon.
And when it does she will bring a sjambok to whip both men to get on with the business of breaking noses and pinching ears. Anyone who tries to stop the brawl will get whipped.

The two men now say they have made peace. Nonsense! There was never a war but a petty argument triggered by ego rather than substance. Now take off your shirts and let the tummies kiss. Mwah!

Previous The joke about soldiers
Next The battle of young tummies

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