Muckraker: The power of pillow-talk

Muckraker: The power of pillow-talk

HERE is the reality that will roil ABC supporters for weeks: any attempt to get Uncle Tom to censure ‘Maeasiah is a fool’s errant.
So your rants on radio stations and Facebook are just that: rants.
And that’s putting it mildly because they are probably just farts devoid of either stink or thunder.
You can ridicule ‘Maeasiah until donkeys have binoculars and goats are hired as wedding maids but nothing is going to change.
With time you will realise that work done equals zero.

Nyoe, nyoe, nyoe he has to choose between listening to the party members or ‘Maeasiah.
Nyoe, nyoe, nyoe if he wants to stick to his wife then he should leave politics.
Nyoe, nyoe, nyoe Uncle Tom has been captured.

There is nothing wrong with wishful thinking as long as you don’t believe that it will amount to something substantial.
If wishes were horses Metsing would be riding them into Maseru without worrying about being arrested.
Size Two would still be in government pelting opponents with his vulgar jibes.

The point of these examples is to illustrate that wishes should never interfere with reality.
There are several reasons why these noises will not bother Uncle Tom. The first is that no man will listen to an instruction to censure his wife.
Thabane does not give a rat’s behind how much you dislike his wife because he did not marry her for you. If you think Muckraker is telling tall tales ask the mother-in-laws who have lost their sons to their wives.

The second is that when it comes to the art of influencing Uncle Tom you cannot possibly compete with ‘Maeasiah. She has 24 hours with him while all you have is airtime to scream on a phone-in-programmes and some internet bundles to poop some drivel on WhatsApp and Facebook.
The third is that you don’t know Thabane more than ‘Maeasiah. You might have bumjived and sang at ABC rallies for more than a decade but only ‘Maeasiah knows him well enough to get in his ear.

The fourth is that you don’t know Uncle Tom’s buttons more than ‘Maeasiah. She is the one who rubs his back and feet while you are busy screaming on radio. Reason number five is that you don’t share a pillow with Uncle Tom. While you are fuming on Facebook ‘Maeasiah is slowly whispering things into Uncle Tom’s ear, pleading her case and extracting concessions.

But the main reason why your whining will not amount to much is that you don’t own the party and Uncle Tom does. This matters in a country where parties are centred on founders and leaders rather than members.

You are just a supporter under the illusion that you have a stake in the party. If Uncle Tom ever told you that the party is owned by the people then he was misleading you horribly. He was pulling a fast one on you. If you fell for that common trick then it’s not Uncle Tom’s problem that you are daft. your ownership of the party is implied rather than real. The truth is that the party belongs to Uncle Tom. And because Uncle Tom and ‘Maeasiah are married in community of property it means ‘Maeasiah also owns the party.

You can crack your heads all you want but that is the reality. Facts – as you will learn in the next few months – are neither emotional nor pliable. Your only relevance to the party is a single vote which the party might get from the next person.
Your membership contribution is not what is running the party. Printing your membership card probably costs way more than your subscription.
Therefore your brain might be the size of the punctuation mark at the end of this sentence if you think you can influence Uncle Tom to clip ‘Maeasiah’s flapping wings.

The same should be said for ministers like Maliehe who forget that they serve at Uncle Tom’s pleasure. He too will learn in the next few weeks that Uncle Tom has no intention of being told how to handle his wife and his cabinet has no space for people who speak their mind, especially when it’s against the boss and his wife.

It might take a little while for this message to sink in the thick heads of ABC zealots but it eventually will.
The bottom line is that Uncle Tom does not have to choose between ‘Maeasiah and the ABC because he owns both. Does that get your goat ABC supporters?

Well, it shouldn’t because that is just the way it is. In the battle for Uncle Tom’s heart ABC supporters have nothing on ‘Maeasiah.
It is important to accept this reality because it might help you to expend your energy on more fruitful endeavours.
ABC supporters, men and women, should not pretend that they don’t know they are fighting a losing battle. Those married would know the power spouses have on each other.
They would know the potency of pillow talk.

Muckraker holds no brief for ‘Maeasiah but she suspects the sister is the latest scapegoat of a limping coalition government.
The unbridled anger against her seems overdone and somewhat mischievous. ‘Maeasiah might be pulling some strings here and there but she is not the one holding the noose on this government’s neck.

She has her flaws like every human being but none that can be considered fatal for the fledgling government.
‘Maeasiah might be rubbing some people the wrong way but she has not turned the government upside down. It could be true that she has a tendency to harangue some ministers but she is not stopping them from performing their duties.

The point here is that none of ‘Maeasiah’s supposed transgressions are strong enough to throw spanners in the works.
The truth is that the coalition government doesn’t seem to have a solid plan on how to extricate itself from the vice of its own promises. It is being hoist by its own petard.

Having over-promised and under-delivered it finds itself being mercilessly spanked on radio and social media. Thus far, the only jobs created are those for a handful of boys and girls.
And even those that have been dished to the favoured few have been stolen from the loathed few.

As Muckraker writes this suppliers have not been paid for months. Government coffers are empty. Projects have stalled. And all these have nothing to do with Uncle Tom’s better half. Those who want to link her to the failures of the government are being dishonest.

Yet even if we assume that she has the power to stop progress Muckraker cannot see why that should be her problem.
She is neither the first nor the last person to try to influence decisions in government. We are all seeking for ways to sway matters in our favour.
That is why ministers’ offices are always teeming with riff-raff that comes unannounced. It is the same reason why so many people are in a stampede to ingratiate themselves with those in power.

The only difference with ‘Maeasiah is that she happens to sit right where power dwells. She doesn’t have to shout to be heard.
She doesn’t have to make an appointment with the man in power in order to get things moving.
She could whisper in Uncle Tom’s ear for 24 hours, uninterrupted. And she can also block out other noises for leakers who want to pile ideas into Uncle’s ear.

Again this is not her problem because it comes with the territory. She just happens to dwell in that space.
The DC people must not laugh too loud because we all know that it is pillow talk that led to the demise of their party and government. Phew! This bedroom thing is in companies, churches, stokvels and burial societies. Get over it!

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