Stick to your LeChina

Stick to your LeChina

SMALL Businesses Minister, Chalane Phori, is throwing tantrums after his Chinese partners lost the Mpilo Boulevard tender.
This week he confirmed running to the State House, hands over head, to wail to Uncle Tom over the tender which he claims was rigged.
You have to give it to Phori for being so gullible yet so confident about it.

He says he went to whine to Uncle Tom as a businessman and not a politician. How he makes that distinction, only he can tell.
What is clear is that the man doesn’t see the scandal of him pleading with the Prime Minister to intervene in tenders involving his friends.
Only in Lesotho can a whole minister make such a salacious confession and still keep his job. His infantile excuse is that he was talking to Uncle Tom as a businessman.
Of course, there is no evidence that he was wearing a Unik worksuit or even a helmet when he walked into the State House. His face was obviously not painted in Mandarin to prove that he was playing for a Chinese team.

In any case, it makes no difference whether he was speaking as a businessman or a politician. The point remains that he walked into the State House as Minister of Smallernyana Businesses. Uncle Tom was speaking to him as a junior cabinet minister.
Still, no one cares in what capacity Phori spoke to Uncle Tom. He is many things to Uncle Tom, anyway. One day he is a minister and the next he is a zealot. He is a Chihuahua to Uncle Tom. He is a bootlicker, a beneficiary and an errand boy rolled into one.

As a Chihuahua he screams for Uncle Tom. As an errand boy, he once nicked the mace in parliament and ran away with it like he was possessed with the spirit of thievery.
Phori is one of those who can move mountains to please Uncle Tom. So he should not be telling us in what capacity he meets Uncle Tom because he wears so many hats in that liaison.
What bothers Muckraker is that Phori conveniently forgets that not so long ago he was proudly hobnobbing with another Chinese to whom he handed the monopoly to sell Lesotho’s wool.

There was no tender for that dubious deal and due process was fragrantly ignored as Phori babied his China man. He simply announced that Shi was now licensed to sell Lesotho’s wool and pulled the middle finger on everyone who accused him of twisting the rules to benefit his LeChina.
He should have known that in this country each minister should stick to his own LeChina. His LeChina is Stone Shi and he should stick to him. He cannot therefore start looking for new Chinese.
There is already a dire shortage of Chinese to own in this country. We only have a handful. So Muckraker will not empathise with Phori. He has no right to whinge when other senior government officials massage their own Chinese because they did not raise a finger when he was smooching his own Chinese.

You eat with your own LeChina.
Phori says the company that won the tender should have been disqualified because its documents were in Mandarin. Soka!
Stone Shi’s certificates are also in Mandarin but that did not stop Phori from giving him total control over our wool and mohair.
Muckraker doubts that Phori knew Stone Shi’s real name when he signed over control of the only sector that truly benefits Basotho. All he had were some unverified claims that Stone Shi was a wool trader in China and he attended some workshops in Australia.

He didn’t even know how much was in Stone Shi’s bank accounts or whether he had a bank account at all. So Phori should cut the crap and stick to his LeChina.
And while at it, he should stop this sickening habit of always reminding us that he is also a ‘businessman’. It’s okay Chief, we believe you. A chisanyama is a business too. It’s all good. There is no point in rubbing it in.

Muckraker is thrilled that Cheeseboy (Mofomobe Machesetsa), her crush, is now deputy leader of the Basotho National Party (BNP).
Cheers sweetheart!

Some celebratory nyafu in the bushes on the banks of Mohokare would not be a bad idea. Those yellow chubby cheeks deserve some kisses.
Muckraker is itching to rub that chiskop and play with that bushy goatee. You sure walloped that Machabeng nose brigade.
We can only hope Chief Molapo will not forget his American accent after the thumping defeat. We need it to sustain the mirage that this country is blessed with refined politicians who can speak English through the nose.

Dr Majoro and Chief Molapo have been the custodians of that illusion for years. It will be a disaster if Chief Molapo sulks and retreats from active politics to lick his wounds.
Imagine Serialong Qoo speaking for us at international meetings.
“The people of Basotho are in love for peace to development in the economic growth of employment creating so that they win for hunger,” Qoo would say, as delegates scramble for their translation kits.

To his credit, Chief Molapo was magnanimous in his defeat on Sunday. He embraced Cheeseboy tightly after the results. It didn’t matter that Cheeseboy looked like he had been ambushed by that hug because he did not seem to reciprocate the embrace with equal vim and warmth. Still, it is the spirit of the act that matters.
Time will tell if Chief Molapo has fully accepted the result. The history of Lesotho’s party politics shows that it takes just a few whispers into a loser’s pricked up ears to gallop to the Palace of Justice to trigger a nasty fight.

The ABC has provided a template for such high jinks which can be as tempting as Delilah, especially when Justice Masefokoro Mahase is parading her zest for bungling political cases.
At one time, Muckraker was convinced that Justice Masefokoro was throwing bones to decipher a judgement. Given the delay and the confusion in the case, it is clear that her bones are both lazy and incompetent.

Thus far, Chief Molapo seems to have resisted the lure to turn a political battle into a legal spectacle. For that, he deserves a Bells. Cheeseboy too should be gracious enough to keep his youthful exuberance on a tight leash. Those scrumptious lips, my sugar, should be shackled if you want peace in the party. Otherwise, you might start a horrid scuffle that might bury the BNP. Remember the party only had 40 000 supporters.

That maturity should also be reflected in Cheeseboy’s social medial comments.
No longer can he randomly fire salvos at comrades and pee on their egos.
He cannot afford to kick Chief Molapo and his camp.

For now, Muckraker will forgive Cheeseboy for the needless jab in his first Facebook post under the victory. “Vox Populi, vox Dei. Vox Populi, vox Dei (the Voice of the people is the voice of God) (Lentsoe la Sechaba ke Lentsoe la Molimo),” Cheeseboy said on Monday morning.
If this was someone else, Muckraker would have pruned the long twig from a peach tree and spanked him. But this is Cheeseboy, the potbellied hunky who has melted Muckraker’s heart. So rather than wring his ears Muckraker will gently chide him for his ignorance on religious matters.

Now listen careful lover for Muckraker will not say this to you again. Next time it will be a sjambok landing on your yellowbone my pununu. There is no Biblical evidence that the “voice of the people is the voice of God”.
Despite being a favourite catchphrase of African politicians, that statement is some patronising hogwash based on neither logic nor the scriptures. Just because it has been repeated for centuries doesn’t make it factual.

To say “the voice of the people is the voice of God” is to declare that the majority is always correct and their voice is a reflection of God’s decision. Nothing can be further from the truth. The majority doesn’t speak God nor does God speak through them.
Often, the majority uses their numbers to ride roughshod over the minorities and violate their rights. That they can force their decisions on the minority doesn’t make them correct or their choice a reflection of God’s will.

Atrocities and other injustices have been committed by majorities. Minorities are being persecuted world over by majorities. Xenophobia and racism are usually perpetrated by the dominant group in a society. Are we then to argue that God is on the side of such terrible misdeeds simply because they are committed by the majority? Phew!
If the “voice of the people (majority) is the voice of God” then the voice of the minority is the voice of the Devil. That is to say those who don’t support a popular view, even when it’s wrong or horrible, are siding with Satan.

You don’t need to have been to Kay-cee’s, the dingy but insanely enjoyable bar at NUL, to see that this is a ridiculous argument.
The Catholic Church prosecuted Galileo Galilei for stating a scientific fact that the Earth revolves around the Sun. It is inconceivable that those ignoramuses who charged Galilei were speaking for God.

There was a time when Christians were the minority and were persecuted for their faith.
If the ‘voice of the people is the voice of God’ it meant that the majority was obeying God’s will when it was killing and maiming Christians.
There was also a time when Christians hounded those they considered heathens.
Were such callous acts endorsed by God as well?

Muckraker will resist the temptation to go Biblical on this. Suffice to say that God is not of this world and the majority of this world don’t speak for him.
It is the majority that elects incompetent, vile and corrupt leaders. The idea that ‘the voice of the people is the voice of God’ is therefore not only irreligious but factually and logically wrong.
That, of course, doesn’t mean that the majority that elected Cheeseboy is wrong. They simply made their own decision, not God’s. They spoke for themselves, not for God. It’s their business, not God’s. And God did not speak for them. He is not at that level.

Nka! Ichuuuuuuuuuuu!

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