The power of beans

Here is a story that Muckraker once vowed never to share. The year is 1999 and the chicken bus is trudging up the mountains towards Qacha. Muckraker’s belly starts roiling because of the curves.
She deftly lifts one of her small bums, hoping to let out a silent fart. You know that stinker so discreet that you can confidently look at the person next to you and warn them against polluting the air.

That is what Muckraker was supposed to unleash on that day. Unfortunately, the fart decided to scream. Brrrrrruuuuuupphu, it came. It was so thunderous that even Muckraker herself, its owner, was shocked. Suddenly all eyes turned to Muckraker as if she had committed an unforgivable sin. It was obviously the beans mum had foisted on her a few hours earlier. The woman had tricks to avoid giving her child mofao. Muckraker felt like melting away into her seat. Were it not for the wise words from a woman sitting a few rows back the journey would have been miserable.

“Hey Batho, leave the poor child alone. She is just breathing. Open the window if you don’t like the aroma,” she said. Everyone laughed, including Muckraker laughed. Since then Muckraker has never swallowed beans before going to crowded places.
You eat it indoors and go to bed where you gas yourself in your sleep. Now imagine Muckraker’s disgust when she heard that the government had given starving DJs beans and phofo to help them survive the lockdown that has killed their trade.

Here was the government telling the DJs to play music by other means. Listen to the beans-induced beat: Bububpupupupubububububupupupupu. The government gave them several packets of beans as if you say it wanted the beat to continue for long.
We may laugh all we want but this is a serious matter. It reflects how lowly the government thinks of the DJs and artists. Muckraker hopes the artists have learned their lesson.

They are quick to compose songs praising political party leaders. They agree to play at political rallies for pittances.
This year they should compose real songs encouraging the people to vote out the crooks masquerading as leaders. Otherwise, it will be beans after beans after beans for the next five years. The farting will continue as long as our artists agree to be used by politicians.
Now lets dance. Bububpupupupubububububupupupupu!

Nka! Ichuuuuuuuuuuu!

muckraker.post@gmail.com