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Satire: Part One



Over the next few weeks I’m going to be talking about one of the major forms of comic writing and of humorous speech, namely, satire. Because satire can be pretty rough, what I’m saying links in to a piece I wrote for this column about a year ago titled “Should we laugh?” Diligent readers might want to check that out.

A very useful website called “Oxford Language” defines satire as “the use of humour . . . to expose and criticise people’s stupidity and other vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.” thepost columnist Muckraker would be a good example of a satirist; another would be the South African Fred Khumalo in his collection of satirical sketches Zuptas Must Go.

Before I launch into some technical stuff, here’s an example of satire I recently enjoyed very much. It was sent to me by a colleague at the University of Texas and you have to bear in mind two things: 1) part of the State of Texas (and, of course, New Mexico) used to belong to Mexico, the country to the south, until the Americans invaded and grabbed it; 2) while there are many fine people in Texas, such as my colleague, the State is also a hotbed of the sort of far-rightwingers who believe that Trump is a good thing (and who probably still believe the earth is flat). Here’s the satirical jibe my colleague forwarded to me:

“To those of you living comfortably in Texas who argue that Russia was justified in invading Ukraine because they once owned it, expect a phone call from Mexico.”

Now back to technicalities. At secondary school one of my major subjects was Latin. One of the two Latin masters was overweight, and was therefore nicknamed Slim; the other had the surname Waters and was nicknamed Willy (sorry, but we were schoolboys!). Nicknames are, of course, satirical. I’ll tell you mine in a bit.

In Latin class we were taught that there were two major forms of satire. The first is Horatian, named after the ancient Roman poet Horace, and it is tolerant and gently amused—the sort of satire you might direct at a small child who’s done something silly but not really naughty, such as putting their pants on back-to-front.

The other type of satire is Juvenalian, named after the ancient Roman poet Juvenal, and it is angry, dark and bitter. Bear in mind this distinction, please, for next week’s column. Now, to my nickname, a fine example of Horatian satire.

First, I need to acquaint you with the phrase “squeaky clean”—this refers to a person who appears to be flawless and makes a point of ensuring that everyone knows this, so that they become extremely irritating. Now, years ago when I was at the NUL I was elected Dean of Humanities.

I had to move into the Dean’s office and was warned that the office computer was more-or-less non-functional. Luckily, as we had offices to spare, I could keep my old office, too, where my lecture notes were stored and where the walls were covered in beloved posters. So I decided to shove the Dean’s computer into a dark corner and move in the computer allocated to my other office.

At the time Professor Katt Lissard was with us, on one of her regular visits from New York, and she offered to help me with the move, carrying the cables as I pushed the computer trolley along. Unfortunately the plastic tiles on the corridor floor had recently been polished and I was wearing brand-new trainers (as befits a newly-appointed Dean).

So as we made our way up the corridor my shoes emitted a series of loud squeaks. Katt started to giggle and said “I shall have to call you Squeaky Dean.” And that’s how I got my nickname, Squeak. (In revealing that, I may have inadvertently handed satirical ammunition to my long-suffering editor).

Next week I shall be thoroughly Juvenalian, focussing on satire aimed at the Russian invasion of Ukraine.
To be continued

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Satire: Part Two



I am turning now to Juvenalian satire—dark, angry, bitter humour—and with examples that have to do with world politics. I’ll start with the British satirical fortnightly magazine, Private Eye, which was edited for many years by the brilliant humourist Peter Cook. This carries plenty of examples of Horatian satire (tolerant and gently amused), such as a regular item titled “Great Sporting Insights”, which picks up idiotic remarks made by sports commentators.

I’ve written on this before in a piece I called “Football and me”, but here are two recent clangers, on the Winter Olympics.

“After yesterday’s drama, today is the turn of the men in the women’s snowboard event.” And (and this one leaves one puzzling, what on earth did the commentator mean to say?) “I think athletes are like people.” But a lot of Private Eye is much darker.

For example, as we come out of Covid (more-or-less) but with the ghastly, the brutal invasion of Ukraine then in its early stages, there was a cartoon showing the four horsemen of the apocalypse—skeletal figures on skeleton horses—peering down at Planet Earth.

One of them is slumped forward in his saddle and the team leader is saying: “Look, Pestilence is exhausted. War, why don’t you pop down there and have a go?” That’s a fine example of Juvenalian satire—dark, bitter and angry. It made me laugh and then shiver.

Private Eye is famous for its covers. There is even a book reproducing over a hundred of these. The cover of each issue features a real-life photo depicting some topical event, with a made-up headline and/or thought or speech balloons.

My all-time favourite appeared during the apartheid era in South Africa. The photo showed two Zulu warriors, dressed in leopard skins and carrying spears and shields, leaping high in the air in absolute joy. The headline read: “President Verwoerd assassinated. A nation mourns.”

These covers work through the juxtaposition of the headline and/or speech balloons with the photo. In the above example there is a disjunction between the photo and the words. Turning to the present and the atrocious attacks carried out by Russia on Ukraine, Private Eye devoted the bulk of a whole issue to that event, and here the cover works in a different way, with the words giving a twist to the image in the photo.

Here was the monstrous Putin consulting with two of his generals. As always, Putin is sitting at the head of a gigantic desk (I’d estimate around six metres long) and the generals are just visible sitting at the other end.

There are speech balloons: from one general “Victory is as near as he is” and from the other “Oh no! It’s Vlad the Insaner” (Putin’s first name is Vladimir and the comment refers to Vlad the Impaler, ruler of Wallachia, Roumania, in the fifteenth century, who was the inspiration for the fictional character Dracula).

Putin’s speech bubble reads: “If anyone calls me a mad mass-murderer, I’ll blow up the world.” The headline reads: “Ukraine War: Is Putin losing it?” which works on a double meaning, losing the war and/or losing his mind. The cover as a whole brilliantly sums up the insanity and brutality of what Russia has been doing.

Before I return (next week) to the subject of satire, I’d like to pick up on my reference to Vlad the Impaler and to say something about the novel Dracula and the various films made of this. The novel, published in 1897, is by the Irish author Bram Stoker, who was a theatre manager as well as a writer, and it’s a kind of hybrid between serious fiction and a popular horror story.

There have been numerous film versions from the USA and the UK, as well as a German film loosely based on it and titled Nosferatu, which is one of the masterpieces of early (silent) cinema.

The American and British films are more-or-less enjoyable as horror flicks, but pretty silly. One of them includes one of my favourite ludicrous film moments. At a point, when the community is being terrorised by a vampire, the police enter Dracula’s house and interrogate his servant, who lives in a state of constant dread of his master.

They ask him “Does the name Dracula mean anything to you?” and he practically jumps in the air, shudders, covers his face and moans pitifully and then says “No, never heard the name before.” They don’t make them like that anymore.
To be concluded

Chris Dunton

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South Africa: How did Ramaphosa get so rich?



Once upon a time (about four years ago) Cyril Ramaphosa was seen as South Africa’s last, best hope. Since the end of apartheid in 1994, the leadership of the country’s ruling African National Congress (ANC) had passed from the wise and heroic Nelson Mandela to the intellectual but ineffectual Thabo Mbeki and then to the corrupt and ignorant Jacob Zuma.

But in 2018 the fractured and demoralised ANC pulled itself together, remembered its purpose, and replaced Zuma as president with Ramaphosa. Hope soared: Ramaphosa had a long record of activism in the struggle against apartheid, he was a former trade union leader, and he was so rich that he didn’t need to be corrupt.

He was the ideal candidate. For a while it went well. The economy didn’t grow much and unemployment stayed very high, but Zuma’s chief cronies fled abroad, others were charged with various crimes, and even Zuma wound up in jail.

Ramaphosa was at least trying to clean up the mess — but then, two years ago, there was a burglary at his wildlife game farm in the Limpopo province. Nobody heard about it at the time, because Ramaphosa didn’t mention it publicly.

That’s understandable, because the burglars allegedly found US$4 million (M64 million) in cash hidden in cushions on his sofa. That’s not a good look for a president whose USP (unique selling point) is fighting corruption, so no report was made to the police. Ramaphosa just swallowed the loss.

That’s not as crazy as it sounds: Ramaphosa is one of the richest men in South Africa, and US$4 million is less than one percent of his wealth. He could just be trying not to draw attention to it — but then, early this month, Arthur Fraser, former head of South Africa’s intelligence agency, lodged a criminal complaint with the police about the affair.

Fraser said that Ramaphosa’s “presidential protection unit” (bodyguards) had tracked down the burglars, kidnapped and interrogated them, and then bribed them to keep quiet about the cash. Maybe Ramaphosa was just trying to protect his reputation as a man of the people, but even so he would have been breaking the law. And then Fraser outed him.

The news is now out all over town, and by this week Ramaphosa was under attack from all sides.

“Criminals do not report crimes when the proceeds of their crimes are stolen,” as Julius Malema, leader of the opposition Economic Freedom Fighters (EFF) party, put it, and a great many other people in Parliament and in the street took the same view.

This comes at just the wrong time for Ramaphosa, who faces a leadership challenge in the ANC in December. His anti-corruption campaign within the party has not prospered, and Zuma’s supporters staged riots that killed hundreds when he was jailed.

Now Zuma’s out of jail, and Ramaphosa is tarred with the same corruption brush himself. There’s a lot that’s wrong with this story. Arthur Fraser, the former spy chief who brought the complaint against Ramaphosa, is a close ally of Zuma’s.

The South African president does hold regular cash auctions of his prized Ankole cattle and various game animals at his farm, but why would he hide the cash in pillows? Tax avoidance? This is a man who has sat on literally dozens of boards and is allegedly worth US$450 million (M7.2 billion).

If he wants to avoid taxes, he has lawyers aplenty; he doesn’t need sofa cushions. The whole “burglary” operation, and especially the source and the timing of the “complaint”, smells like a political sting.

Nevertheless, Ramaphosa is in deep trouble. The real object of the sting would have been to highlight Ramaphosa’s great and unexplained wealth.

He probably didn’t break the law to get it, like Zuma did, but he didn’t inherit it and he didn’t earn it by hard work. He just got paid huge sums to sit on boards, and invested the proceeds wisely.

Ramaphosa got on those boards as part of the ANC-sponsored “Black Economic Empowerment (BEE)” programme, one of whose purposes was to provide a reliable, low-profile income stream for its political work. Most of its supporters were very poor, but the chosen “BEE” appointees were expected to donate much of their large incomes to the ANC.

It’s less lurid than Zuma’s route to great wealth via partnership with Indian “entrepreneurs” in a project of “state capture”, but both men’s riches come from their ties to the ANC. To the average voter in Alexandra township, the two men will look exactly the same.

That is why the ANC will probably lose its majority in Parliament in the 2024 election, after 30 years in power. High time, really, even though nobody knows what’s coming out of the box next.

• Gwynne Dyer is a historian and independent journalist, has published several books and has had his articles widely syndicated for many years. He is also available for university and corporate speaking engagements.

Gwynne Dyer

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Send LMPS to Ukraine



Lesotho is currently experiencing an increase in the cases of police brutality. More than 80 cases of police criminal offences have been reported in the past four years. Unfortunately, the police bosses are not doing enough to address these challenges or this has given the public an impression that they are not doing anything about these cases.

I understand we come from background of military rule. But after 29 years of democratic rule, we are still struggling to ensure that we have a police service that upholds democratic tenets. We have been forced to accept that what we have is not a police service but an army that should be sent to Mozambique or Ukraine to fight.

Soldiers kill each other in war and that is normal. In war people count dead bodies. Our parliament must resolve to send the police to Ukraine since they are very good at killing people. We have been counting dead bodies in police custody for the past five years. It appears to me that the police are simply above the law.

Lesotho has been very inconsistent on matters that affect citizens. We have a police service that does not hesitate to pull the trigger and mow down citizens. The police were ruthless when they were called to intervene in the students protest at the National University of Lesotho (NUL) on June 16, 2022. Their barbaric behaviour saw one student killed in cold blood.

The students were protesting over a decision to slash their stipends. What I cannot understand, though, is why matters were allowed to get to that level by the National Manpower Development Secretariat (NMDS).
There is something clearly wrong with that institution.

There was absolutely no need for the NMDS to breach their contract with students. Moreover, there was no need for police to resort to brutal force to put down the students’ demonstration.

I still cannot understand how our blood-thirsty police operate. I cannot understand what could possess them to use so much force against unarmed students. In all this, I stand with students. The police should stop shooting our children. The NMDS must give students their full package.

Last Friday, a day after their callous murder of a student, the thugs reported for duty as if nothing had happened. Under the leadership of Holomo Molibeli chances are these rogue police officers will get away with murder! But that should not be allowed to happen. These rogue police officers must be held responsible.

Before Molibeli became the Commissioner of the Lesotho Mounted Police Service (LMPS), the police already had certain powers over civilians. They could arrest civilians, stop them in the streets and search them. They are still allowed to retain some of our personal information on their own computer databases – and they can still access details held by other organisations on request.

They can access details of our phone records and our phone calls and emails may be intercepted. Sometimes, the police are permitted to detain us in custody – for up to 48 hours. They can determine the length and conditions of bail while they carry out an investigation; and in some cases, they can caution or charge us with a criminal offence.

In addition to all that, officers have equipment – handcuffs, batons, CS spray, Tasers, firearms – that can be deployed with deadly effect, when they deem it necessary to do so. I therefore do not understand why Commissioner Molibeli allowed these police officers to carry live ammunition to a students’ protest. That is why I am saying they should be taken to war.

It would be surprising, despite the numerous safeguards that are in place to prevent abuse, if, on occasion at Roma, the police officers did not overstep their powers. In my opinion the police are employed to stop crime and make citizens feel safe but when police officers become perpetrators of the same crimes they are supposed to prevent, they become no better than rapists, robbers, murderers and other miscreants that society has ejected and locked away.

Suspects often experience extreme violence and cruelty, including being suffocated, when under police investigations. A plastic bag might be put over his or her head, restricting his or her breathing, and a tube down the throat or a strangulation may also be used.

Suspects are brutally beaten even when they were not resisting arrest and the level of force used by the police appears to be disproportional to the circumstances in which suspects have to be restrained.

The use of violence by the police has implications not just in terms of an individuals’ pain and suffering or the workings of the criminal justice system, but it also causes a social problem that ripples throughout society. The other day we witnessed two men being burned alive on a video at Ha Matala.

The use of force has become a ritual within the police because it is accepted as an effective strategy to solve problems and the victim’s suffering and pain run the risk of becoming irrelevant to the law, as the victim becomes isolated at a time when he/she is in need of the law’s protection.

It appears that there is something wrong with the police training programme. I was shocked when the training recruits at the PTC who came out a few months ago during the festive season were caught on camera beating poor civilians.

I strongly feel that the perpetuation of police brutality is rooted in the lack of comprehensive training to equip members of the LMPS with skills and strategies in dealing with challenges such as suspects’ lack of compliance and dealing with riots.

Police training is lacking in two areas, namely interviewing skills and a legal approach to restraining a suspect. I am convinced that the trainings that the police get do not speak to the challenges that they encounter when executing their duties on the street.

In conclusion, the scourge of police brutality that still plagues our communities is clearly not an old or new phenomenon, as it appears to be firmly embedded in a police culture that persists in embracing force and violence as its operational tools.

We must do away with the current police service and send them to a war situation, where they can practice force and violence. If we fail to send them to Ukraine then the Commissioner must be fired together with most senior officers in management and we must restructure and professionalise the LMPS.

Ramahooana Matlosa

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