Come I kiss you Tekane!

Come I kiss you Tekane!

SOMEONE should advise Chief Justice Sakoane Sakoane to drink a glass of cold water and calm down.
He must take ten deep breaths (by the way, this is a simple remedy for hiccups), close his eyes and whistle a little bit.
Then as he cools down, he must remember that power, by its nature, is a restless visitor.
A lover with a roving eye. It ogles and winks at the next person, always looking for the next vessel to inhabit. Those who have it should never be too comfortable, hold it dearly or let it get to the head. Muckraker offers this free counsel, even though it deserves Silk rates, in light of a recent event at the Palace of Jokes where Chief Justice Sakoane is said to be brandishing a very long sjambok.

At the end of that whip is Advocate Tekane Maqakachane who he has ordered to pull up his robe and bend over for some spanking. Advocate Maqakachane’s crime is to have told some uncomfortable and irritating truths to the chief justice and his battalion of judges in a biting statement at Justice Thamsanqa Nomncqongo’s memorial service. The Chief Justice has been roiled by Advocate Maqakachane’s description of the rot in the judiciary.

In brief, Advocate Maqakachane said some judges should be taxi drivers rather than judges.
Notice that he didn’t say taxi owners because those are not employees.
He said they should be employees of taxi owners.
Those rowdy fellas whose only qualification is to count coins and sit on horns of yellow-bellied jalopies. Ouch! Even Muckraker would not have chosen those words but she wholeheartedly approves of them.
Come I kiss you Tekane! You are the GOAT who got the Chief Justice’s goat.
Take me anywhere you want. Now! Mafube or Qaqatu.
Advocate Maqakachane also said judges were running small fiefdoms from their chambers.

He said there was mismanagement, lack of or misuse of resources, selective allocation of cases and unequal distribution of work.
Anyone who disagrees with these notorious facts has the brain the size of the punctuation mark at the end of this sentence. The Chief Justice concurs that these are fundamental issues but he wants Advocate Maqakachane to explain what he meant and name names. Mmmmmmm!
Which is a pointless endeavour because those things are as naked as a donkey’s nose. As stubborn as a tired mule. As conspicuous as Sarah the donkey. If you are sensitive you can call the donkey Jacobo.
Advocate Maqakachane promptly responded but he didn’t have to.

The judge could have simply walked to stopong for a quick survey on how people think about those wigged chaps. That trip would do him some good because staying too long in his chambers and being chauffeured around has probably disconnected him from the people.
If he considers the trip to stopong beneath him he can read the Afrobarometer survey which revealed that people don’t trust judges. Muckraker would add that she trusts taxi drivers more than judges.
They never give you wrong change and they drop you where you want, even if it’s in the middle of the road.

Judges, on the other hand, take your case and never deliver judgements.
That is what Advocate Maqakachane was saying. It will be easy to say he has hit the nail on the head but that would not be an apt way to describe what he did.
Tekane has slapped the dung with his bare hands and it splattered at the chief justice and the judges.
For that, he deserves the bell. It can be the intoxicating Bells or the bell that announced the end of that torturous mathematics lesson in high school. The choice is his and Muckraker will deliver it. With a kiss of course!

Nka! Ichuuuuuuuuuuu!

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