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Don’t be like Khotso

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Lesotho’s politicians are like Khotso. Who is Khotso? Khotso is that Machache man who abandoned his family and stayed in Maseru for five years.

While he filled his tummy with k’hotho his wife and two children starved back in Machache.

He eventually lost his job and retraced his way back to the village.

But instead of returning in shame, Khotso arrived home feeling clever and all-important.

He was convinced his time in Maseru had made him smarter than everyone in the village.

He was therefore itching to show off his smarts about town life and international politics.

His chance to show that he was now the village professor came one Friday afternoon when he was having drinks with old friends.

“Have you ever seen traffic lights?” he asked his friends.

When all of them said they had not seen them Khotso roared and rolled with laughter before explaining that they are things that blink ka bokhubelu, botala and bosehla to instruct drivers when to stop or drive.

“Do you know Mpilo Boulevard?” he asked, chuckled again and eloquently explained.

Over the next hour, he peppered his friends with things he thought were sophisticated and chided them for their ignorance.

“Do you know about the war between Ukraine and Russia?”

We don’t. Hahahahaha. How about Boris Johnson? We don’t. Hahahahahaha.

Did you hear about Matekane? No, we didn’t. Kikikikikikiki.

Have you ever been to bar.one? No. Hahahahaha. How about Avani Lesotho? No. Hahahahaha.

What is the job of the Central Bank of Lesotho? Blank faces. Hahahahahaha.

Eventually, one old man who had been watching the spectacle interjected and said he wanted to ask Khotso just one question.

Khotso turned, ready to humiliate the old man.

“Ntate Khotso, do you know Thabo?” the old man calmly asked.

“Who is Thabo and why should I know him?” Khotso answered, sure that he didn’t have to know Thabo.

The old man cleared his throat.

“Well, I think you should make it your business to know Thabo?”

“Ntate, the only Thabo I believe is worth knowing is the Minister of Finance because he is the one who decides the finances of this country. Which other Thabo should I know?

“I think you should still know something about Thabo,” said the old man.

“Which Thabo?” Khotso answered, now irritated.

“I am talking about Thabo. Your neighbour who has been sleeping with your wife while you drank in Maseru bars and stuffed your brain with silly things about bo-Johnson and Ukraine,” said the old man.

Shocked, Khotso stood up to leave but the old man was not done with him.

“And Thabo is very important because he is the father of your last born.”

Having dropped the mic, the old man disappeared into the crowd to dance to Makhadzi’s Mojolo oa nyesa.

Lesotho’s politicians are bo-Khotso. They disappear from their constituencies and then reappear after five years, thinking they are smarter than the people.

The villagers can see through them. They might not know about finances, budgets and reforms but they know an incompetent politician trying to be clever by half.

They know what matters to them and do not need to load their heads with pretentious knowledge. It’s called wisdom and the bo-Khotso will see it on October 7.

 

Nka! Ichuuuuuuuuuuu!

muckraker.post@gmail.com

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Small and greedy chancers

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MUCKRAKER has not stopped laughing since attending the meeting between the Independent Electoral Commission (IEC) and treasurers of political parties.

The main agenda was how the parties would share the M5 million allocated for campaign funding. As the sharing formula was being announced Muckraker could see some leaders twisting their faces and fidgeting in their chairs.

The IEC said M1 million would be shared equally among all the contesting parties.

The leaders of smallanyana parties were calm until the IEC said the remaining M4 million would be shared proportionally among parties according to the number of votes they won in the previous election.

Suddenly, the smallanyana guys realised that they would not receive much. They lost their heads and started weaping about justice and fairness.

In the pandemonium, Mohatle Litaba, the Basotho Economic Enrichment (BEE) leader, stood to speak.

“How can the IEC say we should get into the ring and fight Goliaths yet we are Davids?” Litaba said. Muckraker thought she saw a tear drop from Litaba’s left eye as he said those words. It was as if his bread had been stolen.

That David versus Goliath story appeared to be shared by other leaders of smaller parties who thought big parties were getting a lion’s share of the campaign funding.

It was a collective whimpering.

The David versus Goliath comparison sounded reasonable because Litaba was talking about size. His parties and many others are indeed small. The big are big for sure.

The only problem is that the smaller parties are not Davids.

For a start, the real story about David and Goliath is not about size but faith.

David defeated Goliath because he had faith that the Lord would protect him.

Unlike the parties that are demanding more money to fight in the election, David didn’t ask for anything. Instead, he took his sling and picked five smooth stones from the river.

The king offered him an amour for protection but he said it was too big.

So there you have it. David faced Goliath with only faith, a sling and five stones.

The smallanyana parties should do the same if they are real Davids.

They don’t need public funds to win this election.

They should have faith that they will win this election without public funding.

David only fought Goliath because his people were cornered.

Politicians enter an election for power and the benefits that come with it.

They are in it for themselves.

David was the anointed one to lead the nation of Israel. Muckraker doubts that the Lord would anoint the clowns in our politics to lead this country.

Nyoe, nyoe we are Davids. Cut the crap. You are Judas Iscariots.

And the bigger parties should not compare themselves to Goliath either because they are worse.

They have made our lives a living hell.

Nka! Ichuuuuuuuuuuu!

muckraker.post@gmail.com

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Muckracker

Small and greedy chancers

Published

on

MUCKRAKER has not stopped laughing since attending the meeting between the Independent Electoral Commission (IEC) and treasurers of political parties.

The main agenda was how the parties would share the M5 million allocated for campaign funding. As the sharing formula was being announced Muckraker could see some leaders twisting their faces and fidgeting in their chairs.

The IEC said M1 million would be shared equally among all the contesting parties.

The leaders of smallanyana parties were calm until the IEC said the remaining M4 million would be shared proportionally among parties according to the number of votes they won in the previous election.

Suddenly, the smallanyana guys realised that they would not receive much. They lost their heads and started weaping about justice and fairness.

In the pandemonium, Mohatle Litaba, the Basotho Economic Enrichment (BEE) leader, stood to speak.

“How can the IEC say we should get into the ring and fight Goliaths yet we are Davids?” Litaba said. Muckraker thought she saw a tear drop from Litaba’s left eye as he said those words. It was as if his bread had been stolen.

That David versus Goliath story appeared to be shared by other leaders of smaller parties who thought big parties were getting a lion’s share of the campaign funding.

It was a collective whimpering.

The David versus Goliath comparison sounded reasonable because Litaba was talking about size. His parties and many others are indeed small. The big are big for sure.

The only problem is that the smaller parties are not Davids.

For a start, the real story about David and Goliath is not about size but faith.

David defeated Goliath because he had faith that the Lord would protect him.

Unlike the parties that are demanding more money to fight in the election, David didn’t ask for anything. Instead, he took his sling and picked five smooth stones from the river.

The king offered him an amour for protection but he said it was too big.

So there you have it. David faced Goliath with only faith, a sling and five stones.

The smallanyana parties should do the same if they are real Davids.

They don’t need public funds to win this election.

They should have faith that they will win this election without public funding.

David only fought Goliath because his people were cornered.

Politicians enter an election for power and the benefits that come with it.

They are in it for themselves.

David was the anointed one to lead the nation of Israel. Muckraker doubts that the Lord would anoint the clowns in our politics to lead this country.

Nyoe, nyoe we are Davids. Cut the crap. You are Judas Iscariots.

And the bigger parties should not compare themselves to Goliath either because they are worse.

They have made our lives a living hell.

Nka! Ichuuuuuuuuuuu!

muckraker.post@gmail.com

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Insight-pst

The RFP’s cowards

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You have to feel sorry for those who won the RFP’s primaries but failed to pass Uncle Sam’s meritocracy test.

One morning they are accepting their fate and pledging allegiance to Uncle Sam.

The next morning they are bellowing and galloping to court complaining about the same man. It’s a conglomeration of a confused lot.

A hotchpotch of desperate souls.

What is clear is that they are cowards.

Sister Phamotse is the poster girl of that group.

After being denied a chance to represent the Matlakeng constituency, the sister complained a little bit but eventually said she accepted the party’s decision.

She waxed lyrical about Uncle Sam’s leadership and compassion.

“I attended the Thaba-Tseka rally in solidarity with the RFP because even though I didn’t pass my interview, I remain cognisant of the principles which led me to the RFP,” Dr Phamotse said.

“The party is working for a better Lesotho for all its citizens. I admire Sam Matekane’s leadership qualities.

He is an implementer who has done so much for the country even before he ventured into politics,” she said.

“Ntate Matekane is a compassionate individual.

He cares about others’ needs and if he says I need to step aside so he can implement his plans, I am glad to do so because I believe in his ideals.

I have decided not to put myself first but to continue to back him (Matekane) for the greater good.”

“So, I won’t go to court to fight to become the party candidate,” she added.

That was a few weeks ago.

Now she has changed her mind and is among the 16 people suing Matekane and his party.

If confusion was a person.

The duplicity is breathtaking. In August Matekane was an “implementer” and “compassionate leader”.

In September he is a leader who doesn’t respect the people’s will and likes to violate his party’s regulations.

Phamotse and her group say their decision is informed by the recent court victory of five other candidates who were in a position similar to theirs.

They say that ruling against the party shows that they were treated unfairly.

Yeh, right!

If it took them a court ruling to realise that they had been treated unfairly then they must stop whatever they are smoking.

That much has always been as naked as a goat’s behind.

They were just too scared to fight the decision.

Nka! Ichuuuuuuuuuuu!

muckraker.post@gmail.com

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