Here comes another looting scheme

Here comes another looting scheme

THE MPs are cooking up another stinker. After lining their pockets with the M5 000 fuel allowances they now want two secretaries. Yes, you heard that right.

Each of the rats wants to have a secretary at the parliament building and another in the constituency. They will all be paid by the government.
So, there you have it: In a few months, there will be 120 secretaries in the parliament’s corridor. Each tending to the needs of their MP.

This, as usual, has nothing to do with improving the efficiency of our indolent MPs. Never! Remember their idea of a secretary is not old men and women running around with files and minute books. You can be as sure as a 4plusOne taxi will honk that they are thinking of young ladies in pencil skirts and stilettos. Because they don’t know a secretary’s job, they are likely to be sending them around to buy condoms, book nyafu-nyafu lodges and other sins.

But don’t discount that some of them need someone to comprehend documents. After all, some of them are functionally illiterate. Some can barely spell their names under pressure.
You can see from the mutilated English in their motion papers and the committee reports that read like they were written by a primary school student. They are hoping the secretaries will help them hide their deficiencies. For some, it’s another platform to parcel out jobs to relatives.
It is puzzling that people who work six months per year are claiming to be overwhelmed. Often, they just come to parliament to pray, collect their daily allowances and return home.

Perhaps they could use their six months leave to enrol for some secretarial courses.
As is the norm, there will always be some good-for-nothing MP who will jump up to support the nonsense spewed from the podium. As long as it has something to do with more benefits an MP will always open their mouth.
Even those whose only job is to snore and vote for things they don’t understand will stand up when it benefits them.

This time it was Lehlohonolo Moramotse, the Lithoteng MP, who opened his mouth to support the idea. Don’t worry about the exact words he said.
Just know he was excited for the chance to say something in the august House. But Muckraker had an epiphany while he was speaking.
The truth of the matter is that Moramotse doesn’t need two secretaries but two barmen. Remember this is the man who was busy buying beer during the lockdown when he was police minister.

He can best be served by two butlers than two secretaries. One will be waiting in the bushes around the parliament with Moramotse’s beer while the other will be waiting for him with the beer at his gate.
Now that will be the real efficiency he craves. He is mistaken if he thinks the secretaries will be running around town to buy him his poison.

Nka! Ichuuuuuuuuuuu!

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