How to stop traffic bribes

How to stop traffic bribes

Muckraker can swear she had never seen a police officer in Pic ’n Pay since Pioneer Mall opened.
They shop in the Bus Stop Area or Shoprite.

So, you can imagine her shock when she started seeing officers pushing trolleys in the shop a few months ago. It turned out that their visits had something to do with a project the police launched at the traffic lights across the mall. Every day they are at that intersection, causing congestion and fleecing drivers.

When you see one of them leaning on a car just know that he is having an ungodly conversation with the driver. At lunch, they troop into the shop to load their trolleys with papa and stew.
They will be eating the illegal taxes collected from the same people in the shop.

And they pretend to be munching clean money. They even greet you with a smile as if they didn’t pick your pocket a few minutes earlier.
Ntate Holomo! Ntate Holomo! Ntate Holomo! Where are you Mohlompehi?
Commissioner Molibeli should collect his mischievous police officers who have set up camp at the traffic lights. Those cops are out of order. While cars are choking the intersection, they are busy stuffing their pockets.
It’s not that Muckraker doesn’t like the idea of the police bringing some order on our roads.

The point is that Commissioner Molibeli should just make an official announcement that those officers are manning a toll gate to collect revenue for themselves. Let it be official that the traffic lights at the mall are a designated bribe collection point. There is no point pretending that they are working for the government when they are working for their pockets.

Muckraker is offering to sponsor a signpost that says ‘bribe collection point ahead’. A bribe, like a tax, should be predictable.
And let’s have a standard bribe fee because the police officers are arbitrarily changing their prices. During month-end, they jerk up their bribes to eye-watering levels. They offer generous discounts during mid-month as if they are running a legitimate business.

Commissioner Molibeli has three options if he doesn’t want to make that bribery spot official. He can design a police uniform that doesn’t have pockets. If there is no budget, he can simply rip off the pockets from the existing uniforms. The other option is to just seal the existing pockets and put transparent ones. That way, we can all see what is happening in the pockets. That is what transparency means, anyway. Until that happens, we can assume there is an official policy allowing those officers to collect bribes.

Muckraker can assure you that no police officer would want to be at that spot in a pocketless uniform. That goes against the spirit of the project.
Some might still stuff the bribes in their underwear but that will cause a furore. Imagine a police officer holding your driver’s licence with the same paw that has just perused some pubic bush. Commissioner Molibeli will have to set up a hotline for drivers to complain about police officers either being unhygienic or perpetrating indecent assault on them. The choice is yours mohlompehi.

Nka! Ichuuuuuuuuuuu!

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