It’s no longer funny

It’s no longer funny

LAST week Muckraker screamed about the wool and mohair debacle. This week she can tell you without mincing her words that the more she analyses the regulations the more furious she becomes. Now the government is trying to tell us that it’s only implementing the previous administration’s policies on wool and mohair.
They say the deal with Stone Shi was cooked by Joshua Setipa and Lebohang Ntšinyi.

Muckraker will tell you today that based on her interactions with Setipa and Sister Ntsinyi she has no doubt that the deal the government is pushing is way below their acumen.
They have their follies like all humans but there is no way they could have agreed to such a criminal and inane deal.
Setipa is suing Trade Minister Tefo Mapesela for defamation over those allegations. Defamation is not the right word for it. He should be suing Mapesela for calling him a moron.
This country is known for pushing tosh arrangements but this wool and mohair thing is in a class of its own.

The truth is that Stone has no official deal with either this government or the previous one.
If there was then the government would have been galloping the streets with it.
This is just an arrangement between Stone and politicians who have built shacks in his pocket.

The weird part is that the government thinks it is winning the propaganda war by blaming the previous regime for the policies it’s now implementing with zest.
We all know that this government has reversed the policies of the previous administration.
Appointments of the previous government have been reserved. Diplomats have been recalled. Principal Secretaries have been booted out.
Yet this government wants to tell us that its hands are tied when it comes to the wool and mohair issue. Blindly implementing ruinous policies is a sign of bad leadership.
Those pushing the Stone arrangement should explain what is it the farmers will benefit from selling their wool and mohair to him. Or better still, they should tell us what is it that Stone has given them.
If they can’t tell how farmers will benefit then they should tell us how they will benefit from this mischief.
It is only fair to be forthright about whose pocket has been lined so that we understand why some people are jumping on rooftops for Stone.
Thus far it is not clear why some people are so hell bent on shoving this lump down the farmers’ throats.
Maybe if we know who has received what we might stop crying so loudly.

We will complain but still find comfort in the knowledge that at least a brother or brothers have been set for life.
Maybe they will create some jobs for us, throw a party or marry our sisters and daughters.
We want to know what is it that has tempted them to throw 40 000 farmers under a bus. Their own fathers, mothers, sisters and brothers.
But above all, we want to know their price.

Maybe the farmers might outbid Stone on the auction of politicians’ heads.
What Muckraker is asking for is a fair auction of loyalties. We were not there when they were bought by Stone so we could not compete.
That was an unfair trade practice because politicians are a national product.

SADC Facilitator, Justice Dikgang Moseneke, must be laughing his head off after his comical encounter with the charlatans we call our politicians.
For weeks he has been like a headmaster at a kindergarten teeming with hotheaded rascals who squabble over chairs and balls. Who goes on the swing or slides first can be a subject of a much scratching and pinching.

That is the nature of our politicians. They fight about everything but when an adult enters the room they will agree on everything.
You need the patience of Job to cajole breasted and bearded babies who are hostile to leaving their cribs.
It’s just a sorry sight watching such people masquerading as our leaders.
As Justice Moseneke must know by now, our politicians are just scoundrels with an exaggerated sense of self. Just look at the agreement they have now signed after months of kicking and screaming.

It’s replete with the same things that either side had vehemently rejected.
Muckraker told you a few months ago that Metsing’s return was never a deal-breaker in these reforms.
His presence is important but his absence is not fatal. The government knew this and so did the opposition yet we were told that the reforms hinge on his return.
There was no need to bring Justice Moseneke to coax them to agree to obvious things. But then this is Lesotho, the country of wonders.

Muckraker is not overly hostile to bootlickers, for she understands that people use different ways to ingratiate themselves to those in power.
Sycophancy is not the vilest of ways to grovel to masters and get noticed. Some men and women sleep their way to the top. Others lie. Some cheat. Others forge. Some bribe.
So those who bootlick their way up the ladder are not really wicked.

What however gets Muckraker’s goat is when bootlickers pepper their fawning tactics with outright lies. Of course no one has ever claimed that trucklers should be sincere. Brownnosing involves some sort of deceit. But bootlicking, like any other activity, should always be executed with class so that you retain some wiggle room when you are found out.
There are four rules in the art of bootlicking. The first is that you must not overdo it, lest you come across as desperate.

The second is that you must not use pathetic lies to flatter your masters because they already know that your words are not genuine. Their court is already breaming with liars.
The third is that you must never lick the sole of their shoes because they will start treating you as the scum that you are licking.
The fourth is that as you lick you must remember to take care of your tongue. Lick slowly so that you don’t bruise your tongue because the one whose boot you are licking is not the first or last master you will have to lick.

Advocate Thulo Hoeane seems to have mastered these rules over the years. But as the stakes become higher he has started disregarding some of them. He is now concocting lies to please his masters.
It is sad because he is one of the few writers with clarity of thought and a good head on his shoulders.
In his column last week Hoeane went for the jugular with shocking enthusiasm.

The subject was of national importance but he decided to buttress his otherwise inane arguments with bunk logic.
His gripe was that suspended Chief Justice Nthomeng Majara insists on claiming that she is Lesotho’s Chief Justice.
“As a starting point the petitioner – the suspended Justice Majara – wrongfully and intentionally refers to herself as the Chief Justice of Lesotho in that petition in violation of and indeed in contempt of a constitutionally sanctioned suspension by His Majesty,” he thundered.
Advocate Hoeane describes this as “very worrying”.

“It boils down to this. That the suspended Chief Justice – and presumably on the advice of her lawyers – does not recognise the Constitution or the King or both,” he added.
This will be a joke to trigger a roaring laughter were it not coming from a lawyer.
Standard 7 students know that a suspension is not a dismissal.

Dimwits know that just because someone has been suspended does not mean that they are no longer the substantive holders of a position.
It is not for nothing that Justice Maseforo Mahase is known as acting Chief Justice. She is therefore a placeholder for Justice Majara who is the chief justice of the country.
Even the government in whose corner Advocate Hoeane purports to be fighting is aware that Justice Majara is the Chief Justice and Justice Mahase is only acting.
The idea that Justice Majara should stop claiming to be the Chief Justice is therefore mischievous, if not frivolous.

Muckraker is reminded of Tomichan Matheikal, an author and blogger, when he said: “History is replete with blunders written by sycophants.”
It is embarrassing that Advocate Hoeane had to put such drivel on record in a national newspaper.
Next time he should have mercy on children who read his column.

There are many who probably look forward to his instalments.
In the meantime Muckraker humbly advises the good advocate to take a break to recharge his batteries.
His screams against judges and fellow lawyers are nauseating.

Nka! Ichuuuuuuuuuuu!

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