It’s time to whip them

It’s time to whip them

A South African court has just ruled that parents are not allowed to spank their children.
The court said parents should talk to their children instead of smacking them.

That is an outrageous judgement in a country already brimming with uncultured rascals who think the world owes them a living.
Basotho parents should be very afraid for it’s only a matter of time before some wigged judge copies that ruling and plonks it onto our law books. We like copying South African laws and trends here, so parents had better start spanking their brats before some judge says “enough!”

Beat them now for every mischief they will commit in the next three years.
It’s a fair deal because it means your children can have a credit on spanking. That way they can ration their naughtiness in line with the spankings accumulated.
But Muckraker will tell you today that even if that law were to miraculously become the 11th commandment, she will still whack her children. Oh yes! There is already a dire shortage of parents who smack their children in this country.

We don’t beat our children anymore. That is why they are turning into little monsters terrorising other children and getting up to some monkey shines.
You see the spoilt brats when they scream for things in shops and their mothers look terrified as if they have seen a ghost. The boys are the main culprits because we have a silly habit of calling them ‘ntate’ even before they can feed themselves and wipe their own behinds.

Slowly but surely were nurture this superiority complex by allowing them to get away with so much tomfoolery.
And before you know it they are teenagers talking back at us, bunking school and making our lives miserable.
We wonder where this madness and stubbornness came from yet we are the ones who stroked their egos before they could barely wear their panties without leaning against a wall.

We squirm as we watch them galloping into manhood still chained to their uncouth and rude ways. Then when they think they have come of age we unleash them into the world to look for a partner to marry.
We jump for joy when they bring a girl home and we break the bank to give them the wedding they don’t deserve.
Then one day you see them on TV or in newspapers claiming to be a politician. And boom! The rascals are in parliament pretending to be adults representing us.
And so there you have it: a concise and lucid tale of how we got ourselves the politicians who are taking turns to rule us.

There is ample evidence that most of our politicians did not get a proper beating in childhood.
You see it from their incessant whingeing and grumbling. They are an indolent lot that cheat, lie, steal and mislead.
Many will never take responsibility of their actions. They are quick to blame everyone but themselves for their own mistakes.
If you ask the bitter congress lot why they are out of power they will spew some drivel.

Ask that arrogant bunch in government why they have been such dismal failures and they will point at the State House to blame one couple for everything wrong in their administration.
It wasn’t me, they will say with a grin as they point towards Tonakholo Road.
You can see politicians who didn’t get enough of the peach tree branch when they were boys.

It’s a pity the masses are not allowed to whip their politicians. Muckraker would have long locked the parliament doors and flogged them until they rediscover their manners.
She would start with the congress scoundrels who spent decades in government but only managed to keep this country as the village that it is.

Then she would go for those in the current administration who are bungling with so much zest that you would think they are vying for a Nobel Prize in incompetence.
She would lash those in government for closing parliament and whack those in the opposition for allowing the government to get away with such nonsense. Imagine where this country would be if there was a law that allows people to beat politicians on sight.

They would steal less and work harder to serve the people. The reforms would have been completed in days. The right laws would be passed in a flash. They would repay their interest-free loans pronto. NUL would not be starving. The lesson is clear: if you want to have a better Lesotho tomorrow you should start spanking your children now before they become politicians. Future generations will thank you later.

Muckraker toppled off her stool after reading Acting Chief Justice Maseforo Mahase’s scathing attack on her colleagues.
It was however pleasant to notice that she had suddenly discovered that her colleagues in the High Court are lazybones who specialise in taking long naps in their chambers instead of delivering judgements.
She unleashed a long phafa on the likes of Justice Tšeliso Monapathi, Justice Molefi Makara, Justice Thamsanqa Nomngcongo and Justice Keketso Moahloli and Justice Lineo Chaka-Makhooane.
All that ranting was meant to justify why those judges should recuse themselves from a case in which a senior ABC member is seeking an order to compel the Judicial Service Commission (JSC) to institute impeachment proceedings against her. She called those judges incompetent, lazy and stubborn.

While Muckraker admits that there is a grain of truth in some of her words, she is stunned that the judge could have such a short memory when it comes to her own misdeeds.
A few weeks ago she was being pilloried for sitting on judgements in the ABC cases.
She is the same judge who contrived to issue one of the most inept rulings since the country was christened Lesotho.

It was her who instigated Uncle Tom to go after Justice Kananelo Mosito.
And when did she discover that judgements should be delivered on time? Was it when she was chastised by the Court of Appeal for cooking a judgement for months or when someone sought to have her emptied into the streets for exuding blatant bias?

She has the nerve to say she is disciplining other judges for delaying judgement but forgets that she too is guilty of the same folly. Does she not know that the JSC has also received complaints about her conduct as well?

Phew! Someone should just pinch the judge and remind her that the mirror is still useful.
If that doesn’t help her recover from that bout of hypocrisy then some old melodies might work.
Muckraker recommends Dr. Alban’s “Look Who’s Talking!”

Released in 1989, the hit song should have come at a time when she was in her prime. She was probably in a perm when she first heard that song. She possibly had a glass of wine in her hand.
There is no way she could not have danced to that tune unless she was a boring beauty. She doesn’t sound boring, given her propensity for drama.
She is a good actor too. They don’t call her Acting Chief Justice for nothing. In the meantime, Muckraker is seeking small donations to buy the judge Dr Alban’s album.

Nka! Ichuuuuuuuuuuu!

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