Let’s be ruled

Let’s be ruled

IT is not often that regret is instant and laughter lasts for months.
Yet that is precisely happening here.

Hundreds of thousands of people have come to rue the day they stitched their votes together to make a parachute that delivered Uncle Tom and his battalion into government.
They are squirming and they will keep wriggling.

And there is nothing much they can do to change their misery for they leased the parachute to Uncle Tom for a solid five years.
Now as desperation turns to anger many are hoping for Parliament, the same place teeming with lousy but loud rent-seeking and blindly loyal MPs, to upend the government.
Muckraker will not burst the bubble because keeping a flicker of hope alive is good for the soul and sanity.
While those who thought their votes would deliver them to the Promised Land are bellowing, as they roast in the fire of the government’s bungling and mediocrity, one man is having the last laugh and he is laughing loudest.

His name is Size Two, the camel farmer who was blamed for all our ills, including the droughts and the cold weather.
There was a time when even things like anthrax and rabies were blamed on Size Two.
A flu bug was his doing. A dumped nyatsi would point fingers at him.

He was the bogeyman who had to be dragged out of power kicking and screaming.
Emphatically defeated, Size Two packed his ha re eng Thaba Tseka, bid us farewell and found a comfy stone on which to perch himself at his Roma house.
It wasn’t long before he was rolling with laughter as the new guys quickly got busy pushing the frontiers of mediocrity.
Even those who cursed him when he was the captain are telling him that he was better at steering this rotten ship. He answers them with the same deep laughter he has been having since June 2017, when he was dispatched from power.

It is not that Size Two was an astute manager. He too stumbled along and made horrible mistakes.
The ship was not sailing smoothly when he was in charge.
He too sailed it into tempests, with his eyes wide open.

By the time he was forced into early retirement the vessel was battered, but it wasn’t sinking.
The difference is that Uncle Tom, the new captain, doesn’t seem to have a clue about the compass points. North, south, west and east seem the same to him.
Confused about the right way to the mainland, he has just anchored the ship to snooze on the controls.
At least with Size Two we knew that we had an incompetent captain in charge.
He wasn’t doing a great job but we knew he was trying his best.

The task was too big for both his skills and talents but he compensated for those disabilities with effort which was sometimes misdirected.
Today we have a captain we thought would do a splendid job but seems to have lost his bearings.
Many who voted for him say he is no longer in charge because there is a new captain sailing us right into storms. They say behind the “she” captain is a battalion of freeloading schemers who don’t care if we end up at the bottom of the sea.

It is tempting to say we are getting our pudding for judging a book by its cover.
That would however be wrong. Those who voted for Uncle Tom knew what they wanted and sincerely believed he would deliver.
The only problem is that they overestimated his energy, talent and skill.

But despite all these failures Muckraker still thinks it will be unfair to push out Uncle Tom before his term ends. Shoving him out prematurely will cut our lesson short.
Our votes are the school fee which is supposed to take us through five years of education.

We willingly paid those fees in advance. There are no refunds in politics. Our education should continue until the next election.
The idea is that by then we would have learned that politicians don’t give a damn about us.
The stampede we are seeing at the feeding trough today is not new.

The only difference is that whereas Size Two’s gang had stuffed their mouths so much that they were now eating slowly, Uncle Tom’s battalion is full of emaciated troops in a feeding frenzy.
They are playing catch-up because they have been hungry for too long.

Who can blame them: experience has taught them that this bounty will not last for long.
Like cows, they would rather eat now and chew the cud later.

They know for sure that there will be no consequences when we eventually see the ruinous effects of their hungry mouths and long fingers on the national purse.
After all, fellow congress thieves are still freely munching stolen goods with gusto.
They have learned the drill fast.

To remove them from the pot will be unfair. We gave the last bunch nearly two decades to rob us blind.
Why should this gang be yanked out after only two years? What injustice is that?
You may be shocked by Muckraker’s views but that is the reality of our country.
Voters are in the business of replacing looters with looters. Despite our denials, our votes remain their meal tickets. So let Uncle Tom rule until his term is done.

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