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Meet the real bombs

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Hooray, the army is sending soldiers to help deal with the insurgency in Mozambique.
Muckraker thinks this is the best thing that has ever happened to our largely idle military.
For too long, they have pretended to be busy with something they called “internal threats”.

Because they have nothing much to do, they have deliberately stretched the definition of “internal threats” to mean almost anything.
They have been busy chasing cattle rustlers in the veld.
Excessively clobbering goat thieves in the name of fighting crime. Spanking people who violate lockdown regulations.
They even have a rehabilitation centre for gangsters. When there are no people to beat, some of them get up to mischief.
All this boils down to an army that has nothing serious to do.

One that has never seen real combat and whose members are itching for some action. You see this in the bulging tummies some of them have amassed.
Some should be Sumo wrestlers instead of soldiers. Muckraker swears some will faint if asked to jog around the barracks.
Little wonder their football team is pathetic.
The deployment will show our army what an ‘internal threat’ looks like.
After this operation, they will stop this nauseating business of deliberately confusing a fart in the streets of Maseru for a bomb blast.

Only when they deal with an enemy tanker will they understand that a 9mm is a toy gun to be handled by Molibeli’s people, not soldiers. It takes an encounter with a grenade launcher to realise that the army has no business playing ‘social worker’ on gangsters.
Upon their return from Mozambique, the Commander should ask them to write compositions about their experience. It doesn’t have to be anything complicated. Just a few lines about the years they will never forget. More like those high school compositions about the day you will never forget.
You can imagine the fantastic stories that will come out.

“We were sleeping when we heard boom, boom, boom. It was a bomb. Real bomb that can kill motho. I was so sacred that I did urine on myself. I run for cover behind bush but bomb has blown the bush. I jump into whole and start crying. I pray to balimo to save me. I see big tanker coming for me. I faint for fear. Bo Ntate, we have been playing here. I now know real war.”
Another one: “It was sunny Monday when attack start. Me, I was drinking team. Then I hear people say take cover, take cover, take cover. I tell Khotso to find my gun but he says find it yourself.

I say I am your boss and he say you are my boss when chasing cattle thieves in Qacha, not in this war in Mozambique. I say eish, you are right Ntate. Let’s run.
Or this one: “Me cannot say much becoz that war is bad. Very bad. All I can say is that I see real war.”
But jokes banter aside, Muckraker wishes our soldiers well. This is a noble cause.

Nka! Ichuuuuuuuuuuu!

muckraker.post@gmail.com

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Muckracker

Small and greedy chancers

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MUCKRAKER has not stopped laughing since attending the meeting between the Independent Electoral Commission (IEC) and treasurers of political parties.

The main agenda was how the parties would share the M5 million allocated for campaign funding. As the sharing formula was being announced Muckraker could see some leaders twisting their faces and fidgeting in their chairs.

The IEC said M1 million would be shared equally among all the contesting parties.

The leaders of smallanyana parties were calm until the IEC said the remaining M4 million would be shared proportionally among parties according to the number of votes they won in the previous election.

Suddenly, the smallanyana guys realised that they would not receive much. They lost their heads and started weaping about justice and fairness.

In the pandemonium, Mohatle Litaba, the Basotho Economic Enrichment (BEE) leader, stood to speak.

“How can the IEC say we should get into the ring and fight Goliaths yet we are Davids?” Litaba said. Muckraker thought she saw a tear drop from Litaba’s left eye as he said those words. It was as if his bread had been stolen.

That David versus Goliath story appeared to be shared by other leaders of smaller parties who thought big parties were getting a lion’s share of the campaign funding.

It was a collective whimpering.

The David versus Goliath comparison sounded reasonable because Litaba was talking about size. His parties and many others are indeed small. The big are big for sure.

The only problem is that the smaller parties are not Davids.

For a start, the real story about David and Goliath is not about size but faith.

David defeated Goliath because he had faith that the Lord would protect him.

Unlike the parties that are demanding more money to fight in the election, David didn’t ask for anything. Instead, he took his sling and picked five smooth stones from the river.

The king offered him an amour for protection but he said it was too big.

So there you have it. David faced Goliath with only faith, a sling and five stones.

The smallanyana parties should do the same if they are real Davids.

They don’t need public funds to win this election.

They should have faith that they will win this election without public funding.

David only fought Goliath because his people were cornered.

Politicians enter an election for power and the benefits that come with it.

They are in it for themselves.

David was the anointed one to lead the nation of Israel. Muckraker doubts that the Lord would anoint the clowns in our politics to lead this country.

Nyoe, nyoe we are Davids. Cut the crap. You are Judas Iscariots.

And the bigger parties should not compare themselves to Goliath either because they are worse.

They have made our lives a living hell.

Nka! Ichuuuuuuuuuuu!

muckraker.post@gmail.com

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Muckracker

Small and greedy chancers

Published

on

MUCKRAKER has not stopped laughing since attending the meeting between the Independent Electoral Commission (IEC) and treasurers of political parties.

The main agenda was how the parties would share the M5 million allocated for campaign funding. As the sharing formula was being announced Muckraker could see some leaders twisting their faces and fidgeting in their chairs.

The IEC said M1 million would be shared equally among all the contesting parties.

The leaders of smallanyana parties were calm until the IEC said the remaining M4 million would be shared proportionally among parties according to the number of votes they won in the previous election.

Suddenly, the smallanyana guys realised that they would not receive much. They lost their heads and started weaping about justice and fairness.

In the pandemonium, Mohatle Litaba, the Basotho Economic Enrichment (BEE) leader, stood to speak.

“How can the IEC say we should get into the ring and fight Goliaths yet we are Davids?” Litaba said. Muckraker thought she saw a tear drop from Litaba’s left eye as he said those words. It was as if his bread had been stolen.

That David versus Goliath story appeared to be shared by other leaders of smaller parties who thought big parties were getting a lion’s share of the campaign funding.

It was a collective whimpering.

The David versus Goliath comparison sounded reasonable because Litaba was talking about size. His parties and many others are indeed small. The big are big for sure.

The only problem is that the smaller parties are not Davids.

For a start, the real story about David and Goliath is not about size but faith.

David defeated Goliath because he had faith that the Lord would protect him.

Unlike the parties that are demanding more money to fight in the election, David didn’t ask for anything. Instead, he took his sling and picked five smooth stones from the river.

The king offered him an amour for protection but he said it was too big.

So there you have it. David faced Goliath with only faith, a sling and five stones.

The smallanyana parties should do the same if they are real Davids.

They don’t need public funds to win this election.

They should have faith that they will win this election without public funding.

David only fought Goliath because his people were cornered.

Politicians enter an election for power and the benefits that come with it.

They are in it for themselves.

David was the anointed one to lead the nation of Israel. Muckraker doubts that the Lord would anoint the clowns in our politics to lead this country.

Nyoe, nyoe we are Davids. Cut the crap. You are Judas Iscariots.

And the bigger parties should not compare themselves to Goliath either because they are worse.

They have made our lives a living hell.

Nka! Ichuuuuuuuuuuu!

muckraker.post@gmail.com

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Insight-pst

The RFP’s cowards

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You have to feel sorry for those who won the RFP’s primaries but failed to pass Uncle Sam’s meritocracy test.

One morning they are accepting their fate and pledging allegiance to Uncle Sam.

The next morning they are bellowing and galloping to court complaining about the same man. It’s a conglomeration of a confused lot.

A hotchpotch of desperate souls.

What is clear is that they are cowards.

Sister Phamotse is the poster girl of that group.

After being denied a chance to represent the Matlakeng constituency, the sister complained a little bit but eventually said she accepted the party’s decision.

She waxed lyrical about Uncle Sam’s leadership and compassion.

“I attended the Thaba-Tseka rally in solidarity with the RFP because even though I didn’t pass my interview, I remain cognisant of the principles which led me to the RFP,” Dr Phamotse said.

“The party is working for a better Lesotho for all its citizens. I admire Sam Matekane’s leadership qualities.

He is an implementer who has done so much for the country even before he ventured into politics,” she said.

“Ntate Matekane is a compassionate individual.

He cares about others’ needs and if he says I need to step aside so he can implement his plans, I am glad to do so because I believe in his ideals.

I have decided not to put myself first but to continue to back him (Matekane) for the greater good.”

“So, I won’t go to court to fight to become the party candidate,” she added.

That was a few weeks ago.

Now she has changed her mind and is among the 16 people suing Matekane and his party.

If confusion was a person.

The duplicity is breathtaking. In August Matekane was an “implementer” and “compassionate leader”.

In September he is a leader who doesn’t respect the people’s will and likes to violate his party’s regulations.

Phamotse and her group say their decision is informed by the recent court victory of five other candidates who were in a position similar to theirs.

They say that ruling against the party shows that they were treated unfairly.

Yeh, right!

If it took them a court ruling to realise that they had been treated unfairly then they must stop whatever they are smoking.

That much has always been as naked as a goat’s behind.

They were just too scared to fight the decision.

Nka! Ichuuuuuuuuuuu!

muckraker.post@gmail.com

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