Stick to your Lechina

Stick to your Lechina

This week Muckraker had a chance meeting with a man who used to chase her back in Mafube.
It was a heart-warming conversation full of nostalgic anecdotes about how he would ogle Muckraker in class and wait for her by the village well.

It’s a pity he didn’t do enough to win Muckraker’s heart. He was a shy boy with a terrible stutter.
Maybe it was for the best because this girl from Qacha is an opinionated motormouth with a dash of arrogance.
He however reminded Muckraker of the love letter he wrote when he was at Peka High School.

The old Peka High School, not this run-down hovel sustained by the little threads of what remains of a legacy of scholarly competence.
The man said it was the most beautiful letter he had ever written. He wrote it in January but it reached Mafube in March. The postal service had happened.

By the time it was delivered at a nearby school Muckraker was already head over heels with another charmer, who however turned out to be an unmitigated rascal a few months later.
An opportunity had been lost.
Nothing much has changed since then. Things are still painfully slow in Lesotho.

From justice to fast-food. From government projects to food at weddings.
Yet whatever example of slowness you can think of nothing beats the lethargic pace at which common sense enters a politician’s mind.
Here is a little story to illustrate how common-sense crawls like a snail into politicians’ heads. Soon after the June 2017 election a bunch of ABC ministers (read that as rascals) were hunting for their own benefactor.

They were looking for their own Lechina. They approached John Xie who quickly showed them the door because he was oversubscribed with big guns like Uncle Tom, the Feselady and even Size Two.
John’s message was that his pockets were already full of the people who matter in the government.

By some fortune, misfortune or both, the young ministers found one Stone Shi who promised them heaven on earth. All they had to do was to pee on wool and mohair farmers.
And so the boys opened their zippers and started watering the poor farmers.

The excitable ones even defecated on the farmers. Fathers and mothers were robbed in the name of some “localising the sector”. Shi was swallowing their money while the ministers cheered him on.
Of course, their Lechina flung some coins their way, some of which they allegedly forwarded to the vile sister who used to occupy the State House.

Anyone who tried to talk sense to them was called a saboteur working against Lesotho’s interest. One Chihuahua even said he was prepared to be castrated if the regulations were reversed.
And for two years the farmers were miserable while the scoundrels lived large with their Lechina. As Muckraker writes this some of those nincompoops are still in the government.
This week the government suspended Shi’s licence for failing to pay farmers.

It would be hilarious were it not tragic. It’s not as if the government discovered last week that Shi was failing to pay farmers. He has been failing for the past two years yet the government has held on to him. Two years is how long it took for common sense to reach our politicians’ minds. And you wonder why things seem to move in reverse in this country.

Muckraker hopes the rascals will stick to their lechina in these trying times.
Remember those Machina are a rare breed. They don’t make them like John any more. The factory is closed.

Nka! Ichuuuuuuuuuuu!

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