The chawing of ‘Maesaiah

The chawing of ‘Maesaiah

“It’s a partyyyyyy! To the right, to the left. Now get down. Raise your hands and say: Tonight is the night!”

Don’t you dare move a limp because that is not your song.
It was the bed bugs at the remand prison bum-jiving to news that ‘Maesaiah’s bail judgement had been postponed to Friday.

That meant a few more days of a scrumptious meal for the insects.
By now those menacing bugs have conquered the mighty ‘Maesaiah.
Someone who shared the cell with her tells Muckraker that the woman has stopped fighting back. She has surrendered.

You cannot fight an army of litšitšili with yellow bone fingers.
All she does now is scratch and fidget as the pests munch her.
Rumour has it that when the stinging is too much to bear she breaks into her favourite hymn.

“Ha re na matla, rea kopa, rea lla Ntate (We are weak, we ask for strength, we are crying Father)”. The song doesn’t sound as sweet as it did seven months ago because Uncle Tom is not there to provide the bass.

He has been replaced by the sweet soprano from the litšitšili singing: “Ke ’nete ha u na matla, mona ke toronkong, rea u ja.”

Something has been missing from the Feselady’s bail application.
It is weird that none of the people who used to call her a friend, sister and mother filed affidavits to support her bail application.

Surely they should tell the court what a humble and caring person she is.
But they are conspicuously absent from the court, radio stations and social media. Muckraker recalls ‘Makeketso Rebecca Motopela, a State House employee, excitedly telling a local newspaper that she works in the Feselady’s bedroom.

She was saying she knows the Feselady so well because she had worked in her bedroom for seven years. It is not clear if she worked nights as well.
What is known is that she is no longer ululating for the Feselady.

Then there was Keneuoe Machela, the director of the Feselady’s Trust Fund. Kikkikiki, the nerve of calling a money launderer a Trust Fund.
Machela said the Feselady was an amazing woman.
“She is like my mother, sister, friend and everything,” Machela said of the Feselady.

Never trust anyone who says someone is “everything” to them. That is some spooky nonsense. It’s enough to say Machela looks too old to be calling the Feselady “mother”. But Machela was not done stroking the Feselady’s ego.

“This whole thing is traumatising to me and my family as she has not only been good to me and my family but to the whole nation as well,” Machela said.
Holy Crap!

Muckraker is still dumbfounded that Machela could describe the Feselady as “good” to the “whole nation”. That nation only exists in her head and it’s called the Republic of BS. The winner of the bootlicking contest was Nteboheleng Ralekuku.

“Definitely! I am hundred and fifty percent convinced,” Ralekuku said when asked if she believes the Feselady had nothing to do with Lipolelo’s murder.
Only nincompoops are convinced 150 percent because it’s mathematically impossible to do that. Smart people always leave room for doubt, especially when talking about events they were not part to.

Ralekuku was shrieking in the Feselady’s defence on social media. Now she has gone mute. Where art thou my sister?
Then there was that failed politician called Manama Letsie who could not fathom why the Feselasy was in trouble. The less we say about him the better.

The question we have to ask is where are those people now that the Feselady needs them the most? The answer: all those people have the loyalty of a washing towel.

One moment it is wiping the face and the lips and the next it is cleaning other places.

Nka! Ichuuuuuuuuuuu!

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