The con game goes on

The con game goes on

HOORAY! The ABC’s national executive committee has been jerked from a slumber.
After weeks of being led down the garden path by Uncle Tom, the committee seems to have opened its eyes to what has always been a ruse.
So now they say they will tell Uncle Tom to vamoose, pronto.

Their plan is that by the time you read this esteemed column, Uncle Tom would have yanked his ha re eng Thaba-Tseka and the Feselady out of the State House.

Which is not such a terrible idea given his age and the shenanigans of his sweetheart. And ideally it should not be such a tough feat to achieve.
Uncle Tom is indeed a sitting duck ready to be knocked out.
He is a leader who has been tripped by his own blunders. He misjudged the ferocity of the public anger against his rule, the toxicity of his wife, the resolve of his internal opponents and the unrelenting power of age.

Given these troubles, skilled opponents should not be breaking a sweat to boot him out. He bungled the economy, failed to manage his personal life, flagrantly rejected internal democracy, and refused to accept the reading on his biological clock.

His supporters will have you believe that he inherited a nearly bankrupt state that had been looted clean by previous thieves.
They will claim, and with some truths, that Lesotho caught a bug from South Africa’s economic downturn.
But they will be barking up the wrong tree.

Nobody is listening to their shrieking. People are rarely concerned with how the government raises money so long as it doesn’t saddle them with more taxes, fees and debt.
What sets them off is how government uses the money. Reckless spending is a matter of perception and so is politics.

The case against Uncle Tom is therefore as clear as a pig’s behind.
The only trouble is that the executive committee is too predictable and a tad naïve. That is why Uncle Tom has been running rings around them.
When he was at his weakest, after his wife galloped across Mohokare River, Uncle Tom pretended to mellow, sued for peace and said he planned to retire soon.

The executive blinked and swallowed the hook.
Suddenly, we were being told that the factions had reunited.
The executive put its knives back in their socks and waited for Uncle Tom to say exactly when he would be leaving.

Yet you didn’t have to be a seasoned politician to see that this was just a scam that he concocted so his opponents could take their boots off his neck. That however did not stop the committee from nominating some people to replace Uncle Tom. It’s Doti. It’s Kabi. It could be Rapapa. The Maliehes were waiting under the table. Ramakoae was jumping on tables. Even Fako was drooling.
What they all missed was that they were all Uncle Tom’s dancing dolls. The game was his and so were its rules.

The committee now says the jig is up for Uncle Tom but we should not be ululating.
The man will still be leading this country even after the committee gives him marching orders.
He still has a battalion of shrewd nurses around him. The Feselady is also back in the house and is now camped in his ear.

Did someone mumble something about Parliament pushing him out?
That is possible but remember the Speaker has been behaving like the commander of Uncle Tom’s impi for months.
What motivates his loyalty is not clear. The old-timer should be talking to his maize crop somewhere in Leribe.

He could be naming his chickens instead of naming dates on which to adjourn Parliament.
And don’t bank on the ABC MPs to commit political fornication with the opposition.

Kids are like sponges. They suck everything they hear and see from adults.
The adults of this country, especially the rascals masquerading as politicians, have been horrible role models for our youths.
Just look at the silly drama unfolding at the National University of Lesotho (NUL)’s Student Representative Council (SRC) which has suspended two judges for alleged monkey shines.

It might surprise those who have never set foot at NUL but the SRC considers itself a government. It has ministers and judges.
The idea, of course, is to replicate the government structures but they seem to have obviously learned a trick or two from our toxic mainstream politics.
So it did come as a shock to Muckraker when the SRC president suspended two judges for alleged misconduct.
Does that ring a bell?

The SRC president is like Uncle Tom and he is committed to emulating him in every manner, including the art of bungling.
What Muckraker wants to know is whether the SRC president also has his own Feselady. If that is the case, then his girlfriend should be in preschool and she too should be in the dock like her prototype.

Whoever is the chief justice in the SRC should be crying crimson tears. It’s painfully embarrassing to be a miniature Justice ‘Maseforo Mahase.
That person must be careful what they wish for because they might turn out to be a scandal in a judge’s wig.
Imagine being a judge that even rats don’t respect.
This is serious business not some mantloane.
Those boys and girls take themselves seriously.

You have to however wonder who the opposition leaders are. Who the hell wants to be the Metsing of the campus? Your ancestors must have forsaken you when you achieve such a hollow title of being the opposition leader whose supporters cannot fill a scotch cart. It’s just sad.
It is obvious that during the SRC elections some coalition deals were cut.

Who then are Sister Keke, Brother Thesele and Mokola?
Muckraker hopes the small businesses NUL is trying to nurture will never fall under the SRC.
Otherwise those little companies will be like our pathetic private sector squirming from our government’s zeal to pee on the economy.

Nka! Ichuuuuuuuuuuu!

Previous Tribute to Joseph Shabalala
Next ‘Funds will be found’

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