Uncle Tom’s hollow wisdom

Uncle Tom’s hollow wisdom

“THABANE warns Majoro,” screamed the headline in last week’s Public Eye. Heleele, Muckraker said upon reading the story.
This was Uncle Tom dishing out some unsolicited advice to Majoro.
He said Majoro should expect “such smears because he is not the prime minister”.

“It seems we as the people of this country are on the path signalling the denigration of our moral fibre. That is why smears flourish in our country, and that is sad,” he said.
“This is going to be a problem for anyone who holds the position of prime minister. I just do not know how this one (Majoro) is going to deal with it.”
So there you have it: Uncle Tom believes he was felled by a smear campaign.

It’s your choice whether to cry or laugh. Indeed, a road is better known by he who has travelled it.
But it will be naive to take advice from someone who was placing boulders and digging potholes on the same road.
That however does not mean Uncle Tom’s words should be ignored. Majoro just has to take it with a pinch.

This is not counsel from a friend but from a vanquished foe.
The best way to learn from him is to watch his mistakes.
And Uncle Tom’s blunders are known even to cockroaches in Abia.
Those menacing insects know Uncle Tom’s troubles started when he granted the Feselady a franchise to run Lesotho while he dozed off. We became like a KFC branch in Butha-Buthe.
The trouble was that the Feselady was a hopelessly incompetent franchisee.
She staffed the branch with friends and relatives who cooked atrocious chicken. Cashiers insulted customers while cleaners stirred the soup with brooms. The cooks were sneezing on the chips while some spat on the chicken.

When the customers complained to Uncle Tom, the franchiser, it was franchisee Feselady who answered them.
Occasionally, Uncle Tom would berate the customers for griping about the branch.

He said the customers should eat what they get and leave his sweetheart alone. When the customers stopped buying the food he said they had been influenced by Steers people.

He said they had been bewitched to turn against him.
Of course the only witchcraft here is abdicating his position and giving it to someone who cannot spell the word ‘government’. Guvument, gavament, gavyment and garvoment. That is the Feselady trying to spell so she can prove Muckraker wrong.
It’s okay mummy, we know you can spell “shampeyini” with your eyes closed.

We are not laughing.
We give you an ‘F’. And yes, you are right to think it means “fantastic”.

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