MCCD, the man from Tsoelike, is retiring from politics after 29 years. Muckraker wishes him well as he takes care of his camels that had missed him.
In all fairness, Size Two was not a terrible prime minister.
Especially when compared to the silly jokes that came after him.
The other one ruled from behind a petticoat while the other didnβt rule at all.
The one from Makhoakhoeng just fumbled through his tenure until he was pushed out. His claim to fame as prime minister was to harass wool and mohair farmers and to sing βha re na matlaβ.
Oh, and donβt forget that hideous pink suit that the Feselady threw over him.
That Thetsane one of the fake American accent didnβt even try to rule.
He spent most of his time ducking rocks thrown by his own party instead of managing the governmentβs affairs.
They all made MCCD look like a saint.
But MCCD must stop this business of trying to put lipstick on a frog.
He should just say I came, I saw and I tried.
Not this nonsense he was spewing in his farewell speech in parliament on Tuesday. Like a man reading his eulogy, MCCD said he sleeps well at night because he never stole from the government.
He said he can be investigated until Mohokare River followed back to Butha-Buthe but he will found to be clean.
He might be right and itβs his right to blow his horn.
But that camel man is confusing a camel hump for a mountain.
The point is not that he was not corrupt.
He was a director of a den of thieves.
While he was busy ruling his people were stuffing their pockets with government funds.
They almost stole the soles of his shoes.
This is the man whose State House was buying a litre of juice for M100 and a litre of milk for M120.
All bought from Shoprite. Nothing special. Just lebese kapa topela. Kholu!
He can say he didnβt know what was happening but he drank it anyway.
And he will probably live a little longer because of those expensive liquids.
Whether he was corrupt or not is not the issue.
He ate things corruptly bought.
And if MCCD insists on claiming that he hates corruption Muckraker would ask him to name one minister he fired for corruption.
Just oanenyana.
Muckraker is offering a holiday to anyone who can find a speech in which MCCD condemned any minister for corruption. Again, just oanenyana.
Muckraker remembers his baritone, Sesotho idioms and occasional insults.
Timer le le thibane.
Muckraker recalls when he taught people at one rally how to deal with those who say his government had not done anything to improve their lives.
He said they should drag them by the seam of their blankets to a tarred and ask if the road is their mother.
MCCD, MCCD, MCCD. Why?
He might not have stolen but he was the uncle who watched while the nieces and nephews finished the familyβs chickens and eggs.
Some took cows while others pretended to buy Mercedes Benz for the price of a shoe. He didnβt get any but he was at the gate while they drove off.
He even saluted and waved at them.
All the same, Muckraker sincerely believes that the clown that came after him was worse.
That one was just empty talk. Nyoe, nyoe, nyoe hunger is the enemy of the people while they fed a Chinese man with Basothoβs wool and mohair.
Harassing our small local butcheries to benefit one Chinese chap.
How do you say Meraka in Chinese?
If there is heaven, none of those people who abused our wool and mohair farmers will enter it. They might not even be fit for hell.
Muckraker will not say anything about this one who says shibilishibilishili in American accent. We only remember him for saying Basotho ba hβeso when he was announcing Covid19 measures in the colour of a traffic light. This week red, next week green.
All to give the impression that he was announcing something original when he was copying the nonsense from that one who used to start every Covid speech with βMy fellow South Africansβ.
Suffice it to say all of them have nothing on MCCD.
Goodbye Size Two. When Muckraker looks at what came after you she feels like grabbing you by the ears and kissing you. We were wrong to think you were the worst.
Look at the βthingsβ that you left us with and what is yet to come.
Nka! Ichuuuuuuuuuuu!
muckraker.post@gmail.com