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Muckraker

Goodbye MCCD

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MCCD, the man from Tsoelike, is retiring from politics after 29 years. Muckraker wishes him well as he takes care of his camels that had missed him.

In all fairness, Size Two was not a terrible prime minister.

Especially when compared to the silly jokes that came after him.

The other one ruled from behind a petticoat while the other didn’t rule at all.

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The one from Makhoakhoeng just fumbled through his tenure until he was pushed out. His claim to fame as prime minister was to harass wool and mohair farmers and to sing β€œha re na matla”.

Oh, and don’t forget that hideous pink suit that the Feselady threw over him.

That Thetsane one of the fake American accent didn’t even try to rule.

He spent most of his time ducking rocks thrown by his own party instead of managing the government’s affairs.

They all made MCCD look like a saint.

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But MCCD must stop this business of trying to put lipstick on a frog.

He should just say I came, I saw and I tried.

Not this nonsense he was spewing in his farewell speech in parliament on Tuesday. Like a man reading his eulogy, MCCD said he sleeps well at night because he never stole from the government.

He said he can be investigated until Mohokare River followed back to Butha-Buthe but he will found to be clean.

He might be right and it’s his right to blow his horn.

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But that camel man is confusing a camel hump for a mountain.

The point is not that he was not corrupt.

He was a director of a den of thieves.

While he was busy ruling his people were stuffing their pockets with government funds.

They almost stole the soles of his shoes.

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This is the man whose State House was buying a litre of juice for M100 and a litre of milk for M120.

All bought from Shoprite. Nothing special. Just lebese kapa topela. Kholu!

He can say he didn’t know what was happening but he drank it anyway.

And he will probably live a little longer because of those expensive liquids.

Whether he was corrupt or not is not the issue.

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He ate things corruptly bought.

And if MCCD insists on claiming that he hates corruption Muckraker would ask him to name one minister he fired for corruption.

Just oanenyana.

Muckraker is offering a holiday to anyone who can find a speech in which MCCD condemned any minister for corruption. Again, just oanenyana.

Muckraker remembers his baritone, Sesotho idioms and occasional insults.

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Timer le le thibane.

Muckraker recalls when he taught people at one rally how to deal with those who say his government had not done anything to improve their lives.

He said they should drag them by the seam of their blankets to a tarred and ask if the road is their mother.

MCCD, MCCD, MCCD. Why?

He might not have stolen but he was the uncle who watched while the nieces and nephews finished the family’s chickens and eggs.

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Some took cows while others pretended to buy Mercedes Benz for the price of a shoe. He didn’t get any but he was at the gate while they drove off.

He even saluted and waved at them.

All the same, Muckraker sincerely believes that the clown that came after him was worse.

That one was just empty talk. Nyoe, nyoe, nyoe hunger is the enemy of the people while they fed a Chinese man with Basotho’s wool and mohair.

Harassing our small local butcheries to benefit one Chinese chap.

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How do you say Meraka in Chinese?

If there is heaven, none of those people who abused our wool and mohair farmers will enter it. They might not even be fit for hell.

Muckraker will not say anything about this one who says shibilishibilishili in American accent. We only remember him for saying Basotho ba h’eso when he was announcing Covid19 measures in the colour of a traffic light. This week red, next week green.

All to give the impression that he was announcing something original when he was copying the nonsense from that one who used to start every Covid speech with β€œMy fellow South Africans”.
Suffice it to say all of them have nothing on MCCD.

Goodbye Size Two. When Muckraker looks at what came after you she feels like grabbing you by the ears and kissing you. We were wrong to think you were the worst.

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Look at the β€˜things’ that you left us with and what is yet to come.

Nka! Ichuuuuuuuuuuu!

muckraker.post@gmail.com

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Muckraker

Jackals are hunting

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Cheeseman’s recording of the conversation might border on the criminal but that doesn’t matter to those who have been looking for a stick to spank Molelle.

They have been waiting for this moment and are seizing it with both hands.

You can hear the excitement in their voices as they discuss Molelle’s impending downfall. Knorx’s misery has triggered a collective orgasm.

Watch them now as they hunt in packs like jackals.

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Even those who sang Molelle’s praises a few weeks ago are queuing to lynch him.

We are masters at kicking those who have fallen from grace.

The Law Society of Lesotho has been startled from years of slumber to race out of its bed with a long sjambok in hand.

They have written a letter to Uncle Sam pretending to have discovered, through a β€œwhistleblower”, that Molelle was appointed the DCEO boss without being admitted as a legal practitioner in Lesotho.

It’s unclear why they needed a β€˜whistleblower’ to discover something in their records for years. Muckraker suspects they always knew but were either too timid to say or waiting for this moment.

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They are saying it now to give the impression that they sneaked in a kick when Molelle was being spanked out of office. It’s a desperate scramble for relevance.

By claiming that they didn’t know Molelle was appointed the DG without being admitted as a legal practitioner the law society is exposing itself as a proudly incompetent organisation.

That much is clear from their brazen admission that they needed a β€˜whistleblower’ to whisper to them something on their notice board or drawer.

Muckraker is amused by the battalion pretending to be irritated by what Molelle’s mouth said about Bro Richard, Sister Majara and Uncle Sam. They are borrowing offence as if it’s them who were labelled idiots or satane.

Bro Richard, Sister Majara and Uncle Sam are capable of getting irritated on their own without prodding and instigation from self-hired mourners, chancers and bootlickers.

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Molelle himself knows what is supposed to happen in the next few days.

He can only extricate himself from this mess by proving that the audio clips were manufactured and his voice is either AI-generated or from someone who can expertly imitate him.

Nka! Ichuuuuuuuuuuu!

muckraker.post@gmail.com

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Muckraker

Pressing the Knorx Stereo

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As she listened to Mollele’s audio clips Muckraker could hear a man devoted to waffling his way to an abrupt end to his tenure as the DCEO boss.

Cheeseman only had to keep poking him with cunning instigations. It was as if Cheeseman knew which buttons to press for Knorx’s stereo to keep playing his songs. And he wasn’t using a remote control. He was right there pressing the brown Tempest. Muckraker is unsure if Cheeseman danced to the Knorx hits but is certain he enjoyed himself.

Press: β€œSatane”. Press: β€œIdiots”. Press: β€œThis case”.

Press: β€œOh, yes that case”. Press: β€œThe DPP this and that”. Press: β€œBlah, blah, blah and blah”.

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Cheeseman was playing Knorx like DJ Boots on the decks.

At some point you hear that Cheeseman was no longer playing his favourite hits but requests from people who had given him a list of songs before he met Knorx.

Cheeseman’s motive for recording their conversation doesn’t matter now.

It matters now who got the audio clips, snitched and leaked. It all boils down to what he said and to whom he said it.

Molelle would still have been in trouble even if he had been heard saying those words while in his shower. He put himself in that position by allowing his mouth to go wild.

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He should have kept those thoughts locked in his mind until uttering them had no consequences for him. They are words you only mention as history: β€œEish, I used to work with devils and idiots”.

Muckraker is not saying he should have never said those words now. Of course, he could have driven out of Maseru to find a mountain to tell those things.

If a molisana had secretly recorded his chat with the mountain, Knorx would have said what he tells his ancestors is his business. He could have also claimed he would have gone bonkers if he had not told someone or something about his bosses.

Many have a boss they believe to be a moron or evil. Yet they keep their mouth shut about such truths to keep the job and the peace. The smart ones know it is their job to cover up the idiocy of their bosses.

That is how they earn their keep and promotions. Otherwise, what is the point of an idiot boss keeping a smart employee who doesn’t know how to protect them from their idiocy?

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It is your job to protect your boss from his idiocy. And you have no business discussing your boss’ idiocy, especially with his enemies. Venture into such reckless discussions and you will be jobless with your smartness.

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Muckraker

The mouth

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WE start the year with a little story of the dangers of a reckless mouth. Muckraker will write it as if you are listening to your granny’s tsomo. The point of it all will be revealed before the kettle boils.

So here goes.

Some two centuries ago, Czar Nicholas I, the ruler of Russia, faced a rebellion from some renegades who demanded democracy and other things. Qoi!

The Czar reacted with a brutal crackdown that included the chopping of heads.

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Kondraty Ryleyev, one of the rebels, was caught and sentenced to death by hanging. On the day of his hanging, the trapdoor opened but the rope around Ryleyev’s neck broke.

In those days, a rope breaking during an execution was considered a miracle which compelled the authorities to pardon the convict and spare the convict’s life.

With rope broken Ryleyev, thinking he had been saved, stood up, looked at the crowd that had gathered to witness his execution and shouted: β€œYou see, in Russia they don’t know how to do anything properly, even to make rope”. A messenger was sent to the Palace for the Czar to sign Ryleyev’s pardon.

The disappointed Czar was about to sign the pardon when he asked the messenger: β€œDid Ryleyev say anything about this miracle?”

β€œSir, he said that in Russia they don’t even know how to make rope,” the messenger replied.

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β€œIn that case let us prove the contrary,” said the Czar as he tore up the pardon.

Ryleyev was hanged the next day and the rope held tight until he kicked the bucket.

Muckraker read that story from Robert Greene’s 48 Laws of Power. The anecdote accompanies Law 4: β€œAlways say less than necessary”.

Ryleyev would have lived to see another day if only he kept his tongue on a short leash.

Did Muckraker hear you say qoi?

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The story is not about what happened to a reckless mouth in Russia two centuries ago but what is happening to Knorx Molelle because of his mouth.

Muckraker’s grandfather used to say the three things that get a man in trouble are the mouth, the hands and the β€˜member’. The hand does things to things and people. The mouth says things. And the β€˜member’…we all know the David story. Molelle is a victim of his mouth.

Nka! Ichuuuuuuuuuuu!

muckraker.post@gmail.com

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