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Frazer Solar’s silly jokes



It’s a notorious fact that Muckraker dislikes Frazer Solar, that Mickey Mouse company trying to do a M2 billion heist on Lesotho.

The only thing she distastes more than Frazer Solar in this manufactured saga is Temeki Tšolo, its surrogate and accomplice in Lesotho.

It’s either Frazer Solar is just delusional or has convinced itself that Africans are village bumpkins begging to be separated from their monies.

You can see from their reaction to their thumping defeat in the Constitutional Court this week. They hurriedly issued a shoddy press statement that cannot convince a toddler to eat their lollipop.

The statement starts with comical and glaring contradictions.

The title says “Frazer Solar dismisses irrelevant High Court ruling…” but the opening line says the company “welcomes today’s ruling… ”.

Is the briefcase company dismissing or welcoming the judgments? Which is which?

Only a functionally illiterate public relations officer could cook up such baloney.

Notice that Muckraker is not blaming the guff on incompetence because that presupposes there was a failed attempt to get things right. There was neither thought nor method in that statement.

But Muckraker would have let the dissonance pass had the statement not spewed some pathetic lies in the next few paragraphs. The lie was unashamedly emitted by an unnamed company spokesperson.

If the writer was the spokesperson quoting himself then he did a splendid job of parading himself as certified imbecile.

“The judges have confirmed that the government of Lesotho chose the wrong method with which to proceed with Frazer Solar’s renewable energy project,” said the alleged spokesperson.

The High Court judges did not confirm anything of that sort in words, insinuation or winking. They said the agreement that Frazer Solar signed with Tšolo was unconstitutional and violated procurement regulations.

In other words, the agreement is fraudulent and those who signed it are crooks.  Also, Tšolo was never the government. Neither did he have any authority to sign its contracts.

Muckraker was about to stop reading the convoluted statement when the spokesperson uttered another epic lie.

“We acted in good faith throughout by proceeding with the procurement rules provided by government officials,” said the spokesperson.

Even Size Two’s camels in Qacha’s Nek know this is a lie. Oops. Muckraker meant to say kangaroos from Australia, where the company’s managing director comes from.

Which government officials and where is the evidence that procurement rules were ever whispered to the company?

If Tšolo was their “government official” then they have only themselves to blame.

Tšolo has the brain the size of the punctuation mark at the end of this sentence. And that explains why Frazer Solar targeted him to sign the dubious contract they are now brandishing in foreign courts as they seek to pickpocket Lesotho.

They were looking for a minister who cannot spell his name under pressure. It’s no coincidence that some of the letters Tšolo is alleged to have written to Frazer Solar appear to have been drafted by the company itself.

The spokesperson says the company acted in good faith but their lawyer admitted in court that the contract violated procurement regulations and the constitution.

Had the court ruled in their favour, Frazer Solar would have been crowing about being vindicated and sprayed us with another episode of those dishonest Facebook videos.

Muckraker wonders who those self-praising videos are talking to.

Nka! Ichuuuuuuuuuuu!

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The not so noble Ashraf



English has never been our mother. It abandons us in times of trouble, especially when cornered. The best time to judge a person’s eloquence in English is when they are in distress. Walim Ashraf, the man accused of stealing M7.4 million, lost his English bundles last week when he was caught in a blue lie.

His bail hearing was going well until a DCEO investigator told the prosecutor that he was emitting lies with a straight face. He had told the court that his three children and wife were in South Africa. He even added that children were schooling in South Africa. That sounded plausible and the court appeared to have taken his word for it until the prosecutor announced that his wife and three children were in fact in India. Bingo!

Caught in the lie, Ashraf mumbled an apology before telling the court that “it was a slip of the tongue”.
In other words, his tongue has slipped and called South Africa India.

At that moment, Ashraf believed that claiming that your family is in South Africa when they are in India is a “slip of the tongue”.

The phrase he was looking for is: “I am a pathetic liar”. A slip of the tongue is a minor mistake in speech, not a fictitious relocation of your family from India to South Africa. Muckraker will not pass judgement on his charges.

Suffice to say Ashraf is an Arabic name meaning ‘most honourable one’ or ‘very noble’. Tongues that claim to have slipped when they are lying are not so noble.

Nka! Ichuuuuuuuuuuuu

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Its squeaky bum time



Uncle Sam and his leadership should not be surprised that the opposition is now grabbing them by the collar. They played into the government’s hands by making hasty and emotional decisions.

The suspension of the three MPs has now triggered a backlash that might topple the government.
The opposition is smelling blood and getting ready to pounce.

Even if Uncle Sam’s government survives the next storm, the opposition will keep coming. They are possessed by the spirit of destruction.
The next few years will be tsunami after tsunami.
Nothing motivates a politician more than the prospect of finishing off a wounded opponent.
Muckraker is tempted to say the RFP still has a chance to regroup and fight from one corner but that would be false. The trust has been broken and the wounds are too deep.

Those who have been suspended want revenge. Mediation is a waste of time. Nothing is ever forgiven and forgotten in politics.
Muckraker’s humble advice to Uncle Sam and his people is that they should stock up on painkillers because there are more pounding headaches on the way.
Keep some pills at home, office, office toilet, back pocket, handbag, wallet and even bra.

Mapesela will not rest until he is back in government and proudly messing up things.
He is beating war drums.
Uncle Sam and his people had better learn to play dirty because this is a rough game. Bones will be broken and bodies bruised.

Nka! Ichuuuuuuuuuuuu

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Rough riders



Spare a prayer for Uncle Sam as he walks on the glowing coals that is Lesotho’s politics. Call your prophets, fake and real, because the demons of Lesotho’s politics are at the gates.

Bring both fire and water because these are not Mickey Mouse demons. Leave the pigs out of this one, I beg. We still need fariki after exorcising the evil spirits. As usual, you need the powers of a potent wizard to decipher why the opposition is gathering wood for a pyre to burn both the government and its leader. That it’s such a hotchpotch betrays the fact that the reasons are contrived rather than real.

Even if they are real, none of them justifies toppling a government so soon.
And none of the opposition leaders could claim, without the usual dose of embellishment, that the so-called ‘reasons’ have come from the people. There is no scale to weigh the people’s disgust at Uncle Sam and his people.

There is no reason to pretend that those plotting to whip Uncle Sam out of office are doing it for the people who voted less than a year ago. This is just another group of excitable and power-mongering zealots cooking up reasons to justify their attempt to instigate a power grab.

You hear from their flawed logic when they exuberantly claim that it is their right to bring a no-confidence vote against the government.
They pull out that trump card even when no one has accused them of any criminality. They do it to sanitise and deodorise their brazen usurpation of the people’s power.
It’s their way of justifying why a group of less than 50 people who lost an election now has both the power and the nerve to topple a government supported by thousands of Basotho. Oops, that’s a lie. This a decision of less than 10 political leaders who are now shopping around for other MPs to support their decision.
Yes, toppling a government in parliament is not illegal. Yes, the opposition can do it. But the pertinent question is whether this is what Basotho want and it’s good for Lesotho.

Who has told the politicians that this is what the people want? Who did they consult, when and how?
Yes, Uncle Sam is fumbling and dithering. Yes, some of his ministers behave like rabbits caught in headlights on the Main North 1 Road. True, some of the appointments stink of nepotism.
But all these are nothing new or outrageous. We have seen worse from the very people now screaming their lungs out. It’s not as if the opposition now has a low tolerance for tosh.

After all, they are the very masters of tosh. This is not about service delivery or some transgressions.
This is about power and resources. Not power to serve Basotho. Not resources to share with Basotho. It is about the power to shove in their armpits while they munch the resources. That is why they keep telling us what Uncle Sam has done wrong instead of saying why they think they will do better.
They are not saying they will screw us softly this time around. No promise to go easy on the looting. Nothing about limiting the number of rats in the granary. They don’t even have the decency to promise to move from F to E.

As far as they are concerned, we just have to stand by and watch while they kick out Uncle Sam and then cheer as they march back to do more of the same. This is the contempt they have for the people. We elect governments that MPs have the power to topple willy-nilly while claiming to be acting on our behalf. We have been screwed before but these are rough riders. Phew!

Nka! Ichuuuuuuuuuuuu

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