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Muckraker

’Metse can bite you

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Lesotho is capable of many things. But no country beats us when it comes to raising the standards of incompetence.

You think you have seen the worst of the worst but someone somewhere will be cooking a stinker of ineptness that will leave you agog. There is always someone sweating to push the frontiers of mediocrity.

After being showered with praises for running a decent election, the IEC could not take the accolades anymore.

They were obviously bitter that they had failed to mess up the election with their shoddy voters’ roll. They were itching to show the world that they are the masters of bungling.

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So they hurriedly organised a brainstorming meeting on how to prove that their good management of the election was an accident they deeply regretted.

In that meeting, the IEC and representatives of the 65 political parties stumbled upon a brilliant idea to mess up the election and pee on all the good work they had done.

They contrived to miscalculate the allocation of Proportional Representation (PR) seats.

The decision to screw up was unanimous. So the DC was allocated three more seats than it deserved. The AD was pelted with five seats instead of four.

Pessy-Pessy, who was still scratching his bums after being spanked by an RFP candidate in Mokhotlong, was denied a seat.

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The IEC and the representatives of political parties then trooped out of the meeting and told the nation, without a jolt of shame, that they had the correct allocation of PR seats.

It took them more than a week to come back to their senses and have the courage to correct themselves. They rushed to court to stop the opening of parliament until they corrected their blunder.

Reading their court papers, you would be forgiven for thinking that they were drafted a day after the election. They had the guts to tell the court that the case was urgent.

We are now being told that this was an innocent error and there was no malice intended.

Yet that is not the crux of the matter. The issue is that a whole electoral commission could not interpret an electoral Act written 20 years ago.

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This is the same law the IEC has been using to get funding from the government.

The same law has made it possible for everyone at the IEC, from the chairperson of the commission to the messenger, to be paid. It is the very reason why the IEC exists yet we are now being told that the whole commission misinterpreted it when it came to the allocation of PR seats.

They don’t misread laws when it comes to their per diems, salaries and benefits.

Missing from this show is a profuse apology from the IEC.

Their senior management has been perambulating radio stations to disperse blame instead of embracing the mistake and showing sincere contrition.

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They reluctantly admit that they made a mistake but insinuate that the representatives of political parties who endorsed the allocation should also have picked the mistake.

Holy dung!

You can bet your last coin that everyone at the IEC will keep their job and pretend that this boob was just a slight misplacement of seats.

Muckraker will not be surprised because that is how we roll in this country.

Nothing is to be gained from demanding that people who got the PR allocation maths wrong should lose their jobs when civil servants who lined their pockets with state funds are still welded to their chairs in government offices. Phew!

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Nka! Ichuuuuuuuuuuu!

muckraker.post@gmail.com

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Muckraker

Jackals are hunting

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Cheeseman’s recording of the conversation might border on the criminal but that doesn’t matter to those who have been looking for a stick to spank Molelle.

They have been waiting for this moment and are seizing it with both hands.

You can hear the excitement in their voices as they discuss Molelle’s impending downfall. Knorx’s misery has triggered a collective orgasm.

Watch them now as they hunt in packs like jackals.

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Even those who sang Molelle’s praises a few weeks ago are queuing to lynch him.

We are masters at kicking those who have fallen from grace.

The Law Society of Lesotho has been startled from years of slumber to race out of its bed with a long sjambok in hand.

They have written a letter to Uncle Sam pretending to have discovered, through a “whistleblower”, that Molelle was appointed the DCEO boss without being admitted as a legal practitioner in Lesotho.

It’s unclear why they needed a ‘whistleblower’ to discover something in their records for years. Muckraker suspects they always knew but were either too timid to say or waiting for this moment.

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They are saying it now to give the impression that they sneaked in a kick when Molelle was being spanked out of office. It’s a desperate scramble for relevance.

By claiming that they didn’t know Molelle was appointed the DG without being admitted as a legal practitioner the law society is exposing itself as a proudly incompetent organisation.

That much is clear from their brazen admission that they needed a ‘whistleblower’ to whisper to them something on their notice board or drawer.

Muckraker is amused by the battalion pretending to be irritated by what Molelle’s mouth said about Bro Richard, Sister Majara and Uncle Sam. They are borrowing offence as if it’s them who were labelled idiots or satane.

Bro Richard, Sister Majara and Uncle Sam are capable of getting irritated on their own without prodding and instigation from self-hired mourners, chancers and bootlickers.

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Molelle himself knows what is supposed to happen in the next few days.

He can only extricate himself from this mess by proving that the audio clips were manufactured and his voice is either AI-generated or from someone who can expertly imitate him.

Nka! Ichuuuuuuuuuuu!

muckraker.post@gmail.com

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Muckraker

Pressing the Knorx Stereo

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As she listened to Mollele’s audio clips Muckraker could hear a man devoted to waffling his way to an abrupt end to his tenure as the DCEO boss.

Cheeseman only had to keep poking him with cunning instigations. It was as if Cheeseman knew which buttons to press for Knorx’s stereo to keep playing his songs. And he wasn’t using a remote control. He was right there pressing the brown Tempest. Muckraker is unsure if Cheeseman danced to the Knorx hits but is certain he enjoyed himself.

Press: “Satane”. Press: “Idiots”. Press: “This case”.

Press: “Oh, yes that case”. Press: “The DPP this and that”. Press: “Blah, blah, blah and blah”.

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Cheeseman was playing Knorx like DJ Boots on the decks.

At some point you hear that Cheeseman was no longer playing his favourite hits but requests from people who had given him a list of songs before he met Knorx.

Cheeseman’s motive for recording their conversation doesn’t matter now.

It matters now who got the audio clips, snitched and leaked. It all boils down to what he said and to whom he said it.

Molelle would still have been in trouble even if he had been heard saying those words while in his shower. He put himself in that position by allowing his mouth to go wild.

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He should have kept those thoughts locked in his mind until uttering them had no consequences for him. They are words you only mention as history: “Eish, I used to work with devils and idiots”.

Muckraker is not saying he should have never said those words now. Of course, he could have driven out of Maseru to find a mountain to tell those things.

If a molisana had secretly recorded his chat with the mountain, Knorx would have said what he tells his ancestors is his business. He could have also claimed he would have gone bonkers if he had not told someone or something about his bosses.

Many have a boss they believe to be a moron or evil. Yet they keep their mouth shut about such truths to keep the job and the peace. The smart ones know it is their job to cover up the idiocy of their bosses.

That is how they earn their keep and promotions. Otherwise, what is the point of an idiot boss keeping a smart employee who doesn’t know how to protect them from their idiocy?

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It is your job to protect your boss from his idiocy. And you have no business discussing your boss’ idiocy, especially with his enemies. Venture into such reckless discussions and you will be jobless with your smartness.

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Muckraker

The mouth

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WE start the year with a little story of the dangers of a reckless mouth. Muckraker will write it as if you are listening to your granny’s tsomo. The point of it all will be revealed before the kettle boils.

So here goes.

Some two centuries ago, Czar Nicholas I, the ruler of Russia, faced a rebellion from some renegades who demanded democracy and other things. Qoi!

The Czar reacted with a brutal crackdown that included the chopping of heads.

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Kondraty Ryleyev, one of the rebels, was caught and sentenced to death by hanging. On the day of his hanging, the trapdoor opened but the rope around Ryleyev’s neck broke.

In those days, a rope breaking during an execution was considered a miracle which compelled the authorities to pardon the convict and spare the convict’s life.

With rope broken Ryleyev, thinking he had been saved, stood up, looked at the crowd that had gathered to witness his execution and shouted: “You see, in Russia they don’t know how to do anything properly, even to make rope”. A messenger was sent to the Palace for the Czar to sign Ryleyev’s pardon.

The disappointed Czar was about to sign the pardon when he asked the messenger: “Did Ryleyev say anything about this miracle?”

“Sir, he said that in Russia they don’t even know how to make rope,” the messenger replied.

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“In that case let us prove the contrary,” said the Czar as he tore up the pardon.

Ryleyev was hanged the next day and the rope held tight until he kicked the bucket.

Muckraker read that story from Robert Greene’s 48 Laws of Power. The anecdote accompanies Law 4: “Always say less than necessary”.

Ryleyev would have lived to see another day if only he kept his tongue on a short leash.

Did Muckraker hear you say qoi?

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The story is not about what happened to a reckless mouth in Russia two centuries ago but what is happening to Knorx Molelle because of his mouth.

Muckraker’s grandfather used to say the three things that get a man in trouble are the mouth, the hands and the ‘member’. The hand does things to things and people. The mouth says things. And the ‘member’…we all know the David story. Molelle is a victim of his mouth.

Nka! Ichuuuuuuuuuuu!

muckraker.post@gmail.com

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