If you steal a goat the whole village will hunt and kill you. Mob justice is primitive and crude but still a form of justice.
But if you steal millions from their government Basotho will only punish you with just frowns. Ba sosobanya lifahleho feela. They will pretend to be disgusted but you know that deep down, in their hearts of hearts, they envy and even admire you.
Their gossip about your ill-gotten wealth is not motivated by hate but awe. They want to be you, the thief who robbed the government and lived happily ever after.
They would do the same if they were in your position. Some might even wonder why you were so stupid to grab just a handful when you had an opportunity to fill your baskomo.
Never mind those clamouring for you to be fired. They are not really interested in removing you so you stop looting. Rather, they want to replace you with themselves so they can also steal like you did. How did we get to this perverted nature?
Well, it’s because stealing from the government has long ceased to be a sin against the people or a crime. Government money is fair game.
Blame that on politicians who have been stealing hand over fist for decades.
Which is why Muckraker is not impressed by the PAC’s overzealous roasting of civil servants accused of turning the National Emergency Command Centre and its cousin, NACOSEC, into feeding troughs and piggy banks.
History tells us that none of those civil servants exposed as wretched thieves will be disciplined or prosecuted. After the hearing, they will swagger out of parliament, jump into their cars and play “John Vuli Gate” in full blast.
Of course, they will be wearing expensive mazaza to protect the eyes that see the money to steal. At night they will soak in Jacuzzis and sip champagne. It’s called taking care of the body that steals.
The politicians know that too but pretend to be doing serious national business. Those busybodies never worry about outcomes but processes.
It’s their job to pretend to be concerned.
They know while they spank civil servants fellow politicians in high positions are lining their pockets. And they too will do the same if they get a chance.
The most hilarious part of those sham PAC hearings is MPs waving the government’s financial and procurement regulations and procedures as if anyone takes them seriously.
Those policies and rules have never stopped anyone from dipping their fingers in the cookie jar. They are treated as mild suggestions that should never be allowed to interfere with the core business of corruption.
That is why Muckraker suggests a new set of regulations on how the government’s money should be stolen.
The corruption rules will set a limit on how much an individual should steal from the government. Say half a million for a civil servant and a million for a politician. That will level the playing field so that everyone gets their fair share of the loot.
Only those who become too greedy and take more than their allocation, as prescribed by the corruption regulations, should be punished.
The second clause will deal with how the thief can use the money. No cent of the loot should be used on nyatsis, beer, sex toys or sex pills because that is wasteful expenditure.
Clause three will require a thief to declare their proceeds of corruption and pay tax on them. The fourth clause will make it an offence to spend the loot outside Lesotho.
You cannot steal from Basotho and spend their money on South Africans. Never!
Eat it in Koalabata so the money remains in circulation.
Clause four: Thou shall not brag or show off with stolen money.
Clause five: Ten percent of the loot shall be donated to a church or charity. Spread the joy so the gods can keep giving.
Clause six: A thief shall invite the whole village to a party so that everyone knows how stolen money tastes. A thief shall not enjoy the delicious loot alone. Ke phetho!
Just six clauses to make the looting fair and orderly.
Ha re e’o ja!
Nka! Ichuuuuuuuuuuuu
muckracker.post@gmail.com