YOU know factionalism has reached the gutter when zealots start getting angry on the party leader’s behalf. Our party politics is never far from the septic tank but some times the speed with which it jumps into the manure pond is shocking. Take for instance the succession high jinks in the Democratic Congress (DC).
Muckraker cannot understand why some in the DC’s kindergarten are hopping mad at the suggestion that Size Two should make way for others. After all, the party was going to have this debate sooner rather than later. Size Two is 71 and there is nothing sinful with people whispering that it’s time to vamoose. Old people must be told to rest because they sometimes forget that their bodies are not made of iron.
You cannot be punished for saying: Tsamaea u eo phomola ntate. It is the duty of every young person to persuade old people to take a break. Muckraker suspects the old man also wants to rest.
But tell that to the youths in the league if you want your face rearranged with blows.
There is a group bellowing for SizeTwo to rule for the next 40 years. How a mere mortal from Tseolike is expected to achieve this feat, only advocates of this inane idea know.
The mathematics of it all doesn’t even make sense. In 40 years the Idiom Master will be 111 years. Almost all people of that age have joined their ancestors, mostly by natural causes.
They don’t do a post-mortem when you die at that age. It’s all natural causes.
If any is still breathing the same air with us then they are the exceptional ones spared by the Almighty. Either that or they are lying about their real age.
Now imagine Size Two forty years from now, on a wheelchair and mucus streaming from his nose. How does a man who cannot even remember what he ate in the morning run a country? It is a violation of human dignity to force a man who cannot even take himself to the bathroom to remain in power. It’s evil.
The notion that Size Two should rule for the next 40years is evil even if we start counting from 1998 when he came to power. It means he will be 95 when the neophytes finally release him from bondage.
Still by them he will be moving around with a nurse and perhaps a bag of diapers. Surely there is no sense in putting a senior citizen marching towards his plot at the cemetery through such misery.
Apart from being ridiculous the beery calls for Size Two to rule for forty years is a pathetic way of trying to duck the succession debate that is now long overdue.
But there is more to this brainless idea than meets the eye.
It would be at least fathomable if the calls were coming from Size Two’s age mates. That it’s coming from young people who should have the ambition to lead the party and run the country at some point is astonishing. Let’s do the mathematics.
Youth members are supposed to be below 35. Now if they want Size Two to lead for 40 years it means the oldest member of the youth league can only start dreaming of replacing the leader when they are 75. Remember life expectancy in Lesotho is 39, so the chance of the oldest youth league member reaching 75 is zilch. It’s not that simple but you get the drift. The evidence is there for all to see. They are smoking something illegal and drinking toxic things. And they fornicate like there is no tomorrow.
You know there is a dearth of ambition in the youth league when its members fight tooth and nail for a leader to rule forever.
If the youth league wants to see one of their own leading the country and party then they must be on the other side of the fight. They must be telling Size Two to go tend his camels and sing lullabies to his grandchildren.
Enter Thuso Litjobo, the DC youth league president, who has lost control of the motor that runs his mouth. He said he was now moving around with a gun because some people wanted him dead.
It all sounds sensible, only that there is no evidence that he never carried a gun before the alleged threats.
He has always spoken like a gun carrier. Even now, there is no evidence that he is carrying a gun. Even if he is carrying one we cannot be cock sure he is doing so because of politics. It’s possible that with his untreatable verbal diarrhoea the man could have angered people outside political circles.
Last week the man exercised his insolence on the DC Women’s League president PontsoSekatle. Sekatle was not at the meeting so Litjobo was emboldened to spank her until his hand was numb. Even when his hand was sore the kindergarten leader could not stop.
He wanted the world to know he can stand up to Sekatle, in her absence of course.
In a wide-ranging rant Litjobo said Sekatle should behave herself because he can expose “her personal secrets”.
That sounded to be a lame threat for if he had anything on Sekatle he would have said it at that meeting. Instead what he managed were just more empty threats, silly insults and unsubstantiated allegations.
Muckraker asked: whose Chihuahua is this? Whoever owns it must keep his gate locked because this Chihuahua is getting out of hand.
We should give credit where it is due. For that reason Muckraker will doff her hat to Advocate Haae Phoofolo for his illuminating article in the other weeklyon the trials and tribulations of the Court of Appeal President Justice KananeloMosito.
Phoofolorightly stated that Justice Mosito’s troubles have nothing to do with his alleged failure to file tax returns on time as the state alleges. The case, he said, is about the attempt to capture the apex court and other state institutions.
It was a scrumptious assessment delivered in emphatic language synonymous with the senior lawyer he is. Instantly, he had summed up the pith and marrow of that which ails Lesotho: the use of political power for a nefarious personal agenda.
Until that point he had the broader picture firmly in his sights. A useful and instructive conclusion was therefore inevitable. We could have learned lessons here.
But suddenly, as if history is of no consequence to his otherwise splendid argument, Phoofolo veered off course and found himself on a slippery slope.
He sought to use a patently discredited narrative to shore up an argument he had already won. His mistake was to couch the attempt to capture state institutions as a recent invention of the current government.
Principal Secretaries were fired and diplomats harassed, he said. Phew!
Muckraker recalls that Phoofolo was part of the previous government that also used the same tactic he now frowns upon. Government pummelled the previous Court of Appeal president until he threw in the towel. Charges were dug up to buttress the government’s argument that he was unfit to lead the court.
That same government tried to push out the Attorney General, Director of Public Prosecutions and the army commander. The same government also fired PSs.
Advocate Phoofolo does have a strong argument but he applies it sparingly to reach a narrow conclusion. He disperses blame instead of dealing with the problem that persists regardless of who is leading the government.
The result is that he misses an opportunity to educate us about a serious political problem. The capture of state institutions is wrong yesterday, today and forever.Those who want to change things cannot be on both sides of the argument. They must attack the concept, not incidences of it.
Once again a storm has erupted in South Africa. At the centre of it is President Jacob Zuma. Obvious!The brouhaha is about an unnamed school that used a drawing of cartoonist Zapirodepicting Zuma with a shower head floating in a pool of money and having a drink.
The first question is who the man in the cartoon is while the second one is whether the student will vote for him.
One pupil wrote: “No I wouldn’t (vote for Zuma) because he looks way too stupid to think about others and he’s swimming in money, which shows that he is selfish when it comes to money.”
Next to the answer is a “Good”, supposedly a compliment from the teacher for a brilliant answer.
Government officials went berserk as soon as the question paper was leaked. The Gauteng MEC for education said he was launching an investigation and heads will fall.
Phew! You can be sure that someone from the ANC rank and file will call this a racist attack on the president.
They will accuse the school of fanning hatred against their president. Muckraker still cannot understand what the fuss is all about. It’s not clear what has angered the government more, the questions or the answers.
The question is fair because it relates to a leader of a country and what students think of him. Democracy!
The answer is fantastic because it says precisely what Zuma is, a selfish leader living large on government money while the masses wallow in abject poverty. Indeed he looks “too stupid” as the student said.
He is “way too stupid to think about others”, the student said.
And “he’s swimming in money, which shows that he is selfish when it comes to money,” the wiz kid said.
Someone give that kid a scholarship. Instead of frothing at the mouth the ANC should be happy that it now knows what the young generation thinks of Zuma. Kikikikikikikikikkii.Let the daughter of ‘MaMuckraker laugh. Good weekend!
The not so noble Ashraf
English has never been our mother. It abandons us in times of trouble, especially when cornered. The best time to judge a person’s eloquence in English is when they are in distress. Walim Ashraf, the man accused of stealing M7.4 million, lost his English bundles last week when he was caught in a blue lie.
His bail hearing was going well until a DCEO investigator told the prosecutor that he was emitting lies with a straight face. He had told the court that his three children and wife were in South Africa. He even added that children were schooling in South Africa. That sounded plausible and the court appeared to have taken his word for it until the prosecutor announced that his wife and three children were in fact in India. Bingo!
Caught in the lie, Ashraf mumbled an apology before telling the court that “it was a slip of the tongue”.
In other words, his tongue has slipped and called South Africa India.
At that moment, Ashraf believed that claiming that your family is in South Africa when they are in India is a “slip of the tongue”.
The phrase he was looking for is: “I am a pathetic liar”. A slip of the tongue is a minor mistake in speech, not a fictitious relocation of your family from India to South Africa. Muckraker will not pass judgement on his charges.
Suffice to say Ashraf is an Arabic name meaning ‘most honourable one’ or ‘very noble’. Tongues that claim to have slipped when they are lying are not so noble.
Its squeaky bum time
Uncle Sam and his leadership should not be surprised that the opposition is now grabbing them by the collar. They played into the government’s hands by making hasty and emotional decisions.
The suspension of the three MPs has now triggered a backlash that might topple the government.
The opposition is smelling blood and getting ready to pounce.
Even if Uncle Sam’s government survives the next storm, the opposition will keep coming. They are possessed by the spirit of destruction.
The next few years will be tsunami after tsunami.
Nothing motivates a politician more than the prospect of finishing off a wounded opponent.
Muckraker is tempted to say the RFP still has a chance to regroup and fight from one corner but that would be false. The trust has been broken and the wounds are too deep.
Those who have been suspended want revenge. Mediation is a waste of time. Nothing is ever forgiven and forgotten in politics.
Muckraker’s humble advice to Uncle Sam and his people is that they should stock up on painkillers because there are more pounding headaches on the way.
Keep some pills at home, office, office toilet, back pocket, handbag, wallet and even bra.
Mapesela will not rest until he is back in government and proudly messing up things.
He is beating war drums.
Uncle Sam and his people had better learn to play dirty because this is a rough game. Bones will be broken and bodies bruised.
Spare a prayer for Uncle Sam as he walks on the glowing coals that is Lesotho’s politics. Call your prophets, fake and real, because the demons of Lesotho’s politics are at the gates.
Bring both fire and water because these are not Mickey Mouse demons. Leave the pigs out of this one, I beg. We still need fariki after exorcising the evil spirits. As usual, you need the powers of a potent wizard to decipher why the opposition is gathering wood for a pyre to burn both the government and its leader. That it’s such a hotchpotch betrays the fact that the reasons are contrived rather than real.
Even if they are real, none of them justifies toppling a government so soon.
And none of the opposition leaders could claim, without the usual dose of embellishment, that the so-called ‘reasons’ have come from the people. There is no scale to weigh the people’s disgust at Uncle Sam and his people.
There is no reason to pretend that those plotting to whip Uncle Sam out of office are doing it for the people who voted less than a year ago. This is just another group of excitable and power-mongering zealots cooking up reasons to justify their attempt to instigate a power grab.
You hear from their flawed logic when they exuberantly claim that it is their right to bring a no-confidence vote against the government.
They pull out that trump card even when no one has accused them of any criminality. They do it to sanitise and deodorise their brazen usurpation of the people’s power.
It’s their way of justifying why a group of less than 50 people who lost an election now has both the power and the nerve to topple a government supported by thousands of Basotho. Oops, that’s a lie. This a decision of less than 10 political leaders who are now shopping around for other MPs to support their decision.
Yes, toppling a government in parliament is not illegal. Yes, the opposition can do it. But the pertinent question is whether this is what Basotho want and it’s good for Lesotho.
Who has told the politicians that this is what the people want? Who did they consult, when and how?
Yes, Uncle Sam is fumbling and dithering. Yes, some of his ministers behave like rabbits caught in headlights on the Main North 1 Road. True, some of the appointments stink of nepotism.
But all these are nothing new or outrageous. We have seen worse from the very people now screaming their lungs out. It’s not as if the opposition now has a low tolerance for tosh.
After all, they are the very masters of tosh. This is not about service delivery or some transgressions.
This is about power and resources. Not power to serve Basotho. Not resources to share with Basotho. It is about the power to shove in their armpits while they munch the resources. That is why they keep telling us what Uncle Sam has done wrong instead of saying why they think they will do better.
They are not saying they will screw us softly this time around. No promise to go easy on the looting. Nothing about limiting the number of rats in the granary. They don’t even have the decency to promise to move from F to E.
As far as they are concerned, we just have to stand by and watch while they kick out Uncle Sam and then cheer as they march back to do more of the same. This is the contempt they have for the people. We elect governments that MPs have the power to topple willy-nilly while claiming to be acting on our behalf. We have been screwed before but these are rough riders. Phew!
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