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Muckraker

Small and greedy chancers

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MUCKRAKER has not stopped laughing since attending the meeting between the Independent Electoral Commission (IEC) and treasurers of political parties.

The main agenda was how the parties would share the M5 million allocated for campaign funding. As the sharing formula was being announced Muckraker could see some leaders twisting their faces and fidgeting in their chairs.

The IEC said M1 million would be shared equally among all the contesting parties.

The leaders of smallanyana parties were calm until the IEC said the remaining M4 million would be shared proportionally among parties according to the number of votes they won in the previous election.

Suddenly, the smallanyana guys realised that they would not receive much. They lost their heads and started weaping about justice and fairness.

In the pandemonium, Mohatle Litaba, the Basotho Economic Enrichment (BEE) leader, stood to speak.

“How can the IEC say we should get into the ring and fight Goliaths yet we are Davids?” Litaba said. Muckraker thought she saw a tear drop from Litaba’s left eye as he said those words. It was as if his bread had been stolen.

That David versus Goliath story appeared to be shared by other leaders of smaller parties who thought big parties were getting a lion’s share of the campaign funding.

It was a collective whimpering.

The David versus Goliath comparison sounded reasonable because Litaba was talking about size. His parties and many others are indeed small. The big are big for sure.

The only problem is that the smaller parties are not Davids.

For a start, the real story about David and Goliath is not about size but faith.

David defeated Goliath because he had faith that the Lord would protect him.

Unlike the parties that are demanding more money to fight in the election, David didn’t ask for anything. Instead, he took his sling and picked five smooth stones from the river.

The king offered him an amour for protection but he said it was too big.

So there you have it. David faced Goliath with only faith, a sling and five stones.

The smallanyana parties should do the same if they are real Davids.

They don’t need public funds to win this election.

They should have faith that they will win this election without public funding.

David only fought Goliath because his people were cornered.

Politicians enter an election for power and the benefits that come with it.

They are in it for themselves.

David was the anointed one to lead the nation of Israel. Muckraker doubts that the Lord would anoint the clowns in our politics to lead this country.

Nyoe, nyoe we are Davids. Cut the crap. You are Judas Iscariots.

And the bigger parties should not compare themselves to Goliath either because they are worse.

They have made our lives a living hell.

Nka! Ichuuuuuuuuuuu!

muckraker.post@gmail.com

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Muckraker

The not so noble Ashraf

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English has never been our mother. It abandons us in times of trouble, especially when cornered. The best time to judge a person’s eloquence in English is when they are in distress. Walim Ashraf, the man accused of stealing M7.4 million, lost his English bundles last week when he was caught in a blue lie.

His bail hearing was going well until a DCEO investigator told the prosecutor that he was emitting lies with a straight face. He had told the court that his three children and wife were in South Africa. He even added that children were schooling in South Africa. That sounded plausible and the court appeared to have taken his word for it until the prosecutor announced that his wife and three children were in fact in India. Bingo!

Caught in the lie, Ashraf mumbled an apology before telling the court that “it was a slip of the tongue”.
In other words, his tongue has slipped and called South Africa India.

At that moment, Ashraf believed that claiming that your family is in South Africa when they are in India is a “slip of the tongue”.

The phrase he was looking for is: “I am a pathetic liar”. A slip of the tongue is a minor mistake in speech, not a fictitious relocation of your family from India to South Africa. Muckraker will not pass judgement on his charges.

Suffice to say Ashraf is an Arabic name meaning ‘most honourable one’ or ‘very noble’. Tongues that claim to have slipped when they are lying are not so noble.

Nka! Ichuuuuuuuuuuuu

muckracker.post@gmail.com

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Muckraker

Its squeaky bum time

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Uncle Sam and his leadership should not be surprised that the opposition is now grabbing them by the collar. They played into the government’s hands by making hasty and emotional decisions.

The suspension of the three MPs has now triggered a backlash that might topple the government.
The opposition is smelling blood and getting ready to pounce.

Even if Uncle Sam’s government survives the next storm, the opposition will keep coming. They are possessed by the spirit of destruction.
The next few years will be tsunami after tsunami.
Nothing motivates a politician more than the prospect of finishing off a wounded opponent.
Muckraker is tempted to say the RFP still has a chance to regroup and fight from one corner but that would be false. The trust has been broken and the wounds are too deep.

Those who have been suspended want revenge. Mediation is a waste of time. Nothing is ever forgiven and forgotten in politics.
Muckraker’s humble advice to Uncle Sam and his people is that they should stock up on painkillers because there are more pounding headaches on the way.
Keep some pills at home, office, office toilet, back pocket, handbag, wallet and even bra.

Mapesela will not rest until he is back in government and proudly messing up things.
He is beating war drums.
Uncle Sam and his people had better learn to play dirty because this is a rough game. Bones will be broken and bodies bruised.

Nka! Ichuuuuuuuuuuuu

muckracker.post@gmail.com

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Muckraker

Rough riders

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Spare a prayer for Uncle Sam as he walks on the glowing coals that is Lesotho’s politics. Call your prophets, fake and real, because the demons of Lesotho’s politics are at the gates.

Bring both fire and water because these are not Mickey Mouse demons. Leave the pigs out of this one, I beg. We still need fariki after exorcising the evil spirits. As usual, you need the powers of a potent wizard to decipher why the opposition is gathering wood for a pyre to burn both the government and its leader. That it’s such a hotchpotch betrays the fact that the reasons are contrived rather than real.

Even if they are real, none of them justifies toppling a government so soon.
And none of the opposition leaders could claim, without the usual dose of embellishment, that the so-called ‘reasons’ have come from the people. There is no scale to weigh the people’s disgust at Uncle Sam and his people.

There is no reason to pretend that those plotting to whip Uncle Sam out of office are doing it for the people who voted less than a year ago. This is just another group of excitable and power-mongering zealots cooking up reasons to justify their attempt to instigate a power grab.

You hear from their flawed logic when they exuberantly claim that it is their right to bring a no-confidence vote against the government.
They pull out that trump card even when no one has accused them of any criminality. They do it to sanitise and deodorise their brazen usurpation of the people’s power.
It’s their way of justifying why a group of less than 50 people who lost an election now has both the power and the nerve to topple a government supported by thousands of Basotho. Oops, that’s a lie. This a decision of less than 10 political leaders who are now shopping around for other MPs to support their decision.
Yes, toppling a government in parliament is not illegal. Yes, the opposition can do it. But the pertinent question is whether this is what Basotho want and it’s good for Lesotho.

Who has told the politicians that this is what the people want? Who did they consult, when and how?
Yes, Uncle Sam is fumbling and dithering. Yes, some of his ministers behave like rabbits caught in headlights on the Main North 1 Road. True, some of the appointments stink of nepotism.
But all these are nothing new or outrageous. We have seen worse from the very people now screaming their lungs out. It’s not as if the opposition now has a low tolerance for tosh.

After all, they are the very masters of tosh. This is not about service delivery or some transgressions.
This is about power and resources. Not power to serve Basotho. Not resources to share with Basotho. It is about the power to shove in their armpits while they munch the resources. That is why they keep telling us what Uncle Sam has done wrong instead of saying why they think they will do better.
They are not saying they will screw us softly this time around. No promise to go easy on the looting. Nothing about limiting the number of rats in the granary. They don’t even have the decency to promise to move from F to E.

As far as they are concerned, we just have to stand by and watch while they kick out Uncle Sam and then cheer as they march back to do more of the same. This is the contempt they have for the people. We elect governments that MPs have the power to topple willy-nilly while claiming to be acting on our behalf. We have been screwed before but these are rough riders. Phew!

Nka! Ichuuuuuuuuuuuu

muckracker.post@gmail.com

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