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ON what bomb are some political activists sitting? Some have been perambulating Maseru, armed with hare eng Thaba Tseka bags full of anger, insults and hate speech.

The other day one was having a go at United States Ambassador, Mathew Harrington. Frothing at the mouth, he said Harrington should be shown a shortcut to the nearest border. If the government doesn’t get him out then we will give him the boot, he said as he went for the jugular.

It is not clear who is included in the “we”. What is known for sure is that his mouth has been let loose. Muckraker hopes the excitable activist doesn’t have a puppet master in government. Yet even if he has, he is sure flogging a dead donkey.

Governments are not in the business of taking instructions from political activists bellowing on radio stations.  Harrington will not vamoose no matter how loud the activist screams.

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There is a horribly wrong perception that the US is desperate to have an embassy in Lesotho. It can do without us. The British left this country and lost nothing. The Irish packed their bags too and didn’t lose anything.

The relationship between the US and Lesotho has long ceased to be that of master and slave (if it was ever that). Muckraker thinks the relationship is more like that of a Sugar Daddy and a nyatsi.

For years the nyatsi has been spoilt rotten by the Sugar Daddy who has renovated her toilet, paved the road to her house and even built clinics for her clansmen. Remember the US$360 million compact Size Two once described as a gift from the ancestors as if our ancestors were ever that rich and generous.

The nyatsi has also been allowed to sell her hand-woven baskets in Sugar Daddy’s village without paying taxes (AGOA).

All these favours have helped the nyatsi grow rotund cheeks and a big bum.

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Muckraker therefore doesn’t understand why the nyatsi wants to kick up a storm when the Sugar Daddy demands a little bit of manners and gratefulness. The Sugar Daddy is telling the nyatsi to stop spanking her children with a barbed wire whip and to keep the house clean.

Surely there is nothing wrong with a Blesser telling the Blessee to behave decently. After all, no Blesser blesses without demanding a little bit of say in the Blessee’s affairs.

The blessed loses some independence as soon as she receives the first blessing from the Blesser. The truth in this case is that the nyatsi is at the mercy of the Sugar Daddy.

She cannot send away Harrington, the Sugar Daddy’s representatives in her yard, simply because some talkative cousin is complaining bitterly. The nyatsi can pretend to resist but she knows the Sugar Daddy is in charge.

 

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Are the opposition leaders coming back or not? Muckraker asks this question because of the mishmash of responses from the opposition camp. The problem with our opposition is that it is speaking with too many mouths.

Sister Rantso will open her mouth and say some weird things. She hardly ever says anything illuminating. What she does well is to waffle and complain.

She thinks attacking Size Two every time she opens her mouth will miraculously improve her perennially shallow ideas. The plumb one has never been known for her sophistication. She a simple-minded politician ill-prepared for the acumen that goes with the office she now holds.

True, exile has a way of sapping the energy of even the most vibrant of politicians but in Rantso’s case she was naïve and lethargic before she crossed Mohokare.

She remains unchanged and cannot possibly dream of being anywhere near power unless she clings on to the seams of Uncle Tom’s gown. It boggles the mind why she finds it prudent to open her mouth when she has very little sensible things to say.

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Still she does it because it’s clear the opposition camp doesn’t have an official spokesperson.

Enter Cheese Boy, the garrulous spokesperson of the BNP, who has appointed himself spokesperson of the opposition. Journalists know Cheese Boy is not frugal with sound bites.

Thrust a microphone in his face and he will ramble on and on as if his mouth is connected directly to Muella Power Station. That Cheese Boy is confused has never been in doubt. What is startling is the vim with which he shares his confusion with others. He cannot be accused of being stingy when it comes to disseminating his confusion. Blame that on youthful exuberance.

Uncle Tom sleeps a lot these days but he remains capable of mumbling biting profanities when he comes back from dream land. He is a teammate to die for in an insulting match.

His only weakness though is that he tends to forget that the purpose of speaking is to convey a message. He insults when he should cajole and screams when he should whisper. The result is just high sounding words devoid of anything useful.

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The only ray of hope in this muddle seems to be Molapo who usually comes up with something sober. Yet he too sometimes cannot resist the temptation to jump on the bandwagon.

The list of opposition spokespersons is growing by day. Just when you think you have managed to sift through the morass Brother Thesele will come up with his on load of baloney (you could say boloney if you want). The most toxic spokespersons though come from a battalion of self-appointed PR managers from the opposition.

All they have to do is find a naïve radio presenter to give them a platform to poop their drivel. Others simply punch a few keys on their computers and dispatch poison into the cyberspace.

The result is a seriously jumbled-up message from the opposition.

So who are we supposed to believe? Well, no one! Muckraker will believe the opposition leaders are coming when they cross Mohakare River. Until then she will just watch the stampede from a distance.

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Muckraker is enraged by the shooting of Lloyd Mutungamiri, the editor of Lesotho Times. Such a heinous act is ample illustration of the moral deprivation that has now gripped our country.

At some point we have to draw the line: to say beyond here we cannot do worse, lest this country turns into a jungle that will shock even those perpetrating such violence.

Unfortunately recent history, together with its callous acts, has shown that there is very little to startle those behind such attacks.

It would seem that absolutely nothing will drag such people back to their senses. Each day we move closer to the crag, seemingly oblivious to the fact that we are only making things worse and ours is the only country that will lose. There are moments of madness in the history of any country.

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This is our moment.

From it we will learn the value of living in peace and the beauty of tolerance. But to begin that education we should stop the madness first.

We shouldn’t have even started but because we did, through commission and omission, the onus is on us to stop. We owe it to ourselves to stop those behind such dastardly acts.

For that we look to the government from which we require collective action. Muckraker is cocksure that we should never travel the journey we have travelled for the past three years.

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Muckraker

Jackals are hunting

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Cheeseman’s recording of the conversation might border on the criminal but that doesn’t matter to those who have been looking for a stick to spank Molelle.

They have been waiting for this moment and are seizing it with both hands.

You can hear the excitement in their voices as they discuss Molelle’s impending downfall. Knorx’s misery has triggered a collective orgasm.

Watch them now as they hunt in packs like jackals.

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Even those who sang Molelle’s praises a few weeks ago are queuing to lynch him.

We are masters at kicking those who have fallen from grace.

The Law Society of Lesotho has been startled from years of slumber to race out of its bed with a long sjambok in hand.

They have written a letter to Uncle Sam pretending to have discovered, through a “whistleblower”, that Molelle was appointed the DCEO boss without being admitted as a legal practitioner in Lesotho.

It’s unclear why they needed a ‘whistleblower’ to discover something in their records for years. Muckraker suspects they always knew but were either too timid to say or waiting for this moment.

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They are saying it now to give the impression that they sneaked in a kick when Molelle was being spanked out of office. It’s a desperate scramble for relevance.

By claiming that they didn’t know Molelle was appointed the DG without being admitted as a legal practitioner the law society is exposing itself as a proudly incompetent organisation.

That much is clear from their brazen admission that they needed a ‘whistleblower’ to whisper to them something on their notice board or drawer.

Muckraker is amused by the battalion pretending to be irritated by what Molelle’s mouth said about Bro Richard, Sister Majara and Uncle Sam. They are borrowing offence as if it’s them who were labelled idiots or satane.

Bro Richard, Sister Majara and Uncle Sam are capable of getting irritated on their own without prodding and instigation from self-hired mourners, chancers and bootlickers.

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Molelle himself knows what is supposed to happen in the next few days.

He can only extricate himself from this mess by proving that the audio clips were manufactured and his voice is either AI-generated or from someone who can expertly imitate him.

Nka! Ichuuuuuuuuuuu!

muckraker.post@gmail.com

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Muckraker

Pressing the Knorx Stereo

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As she listened to Mollele’s audio clips Muckraker could hear a man devoted to waffling his way to an abrupt end to his tenure as the DCEO boss.

Cheeseman only had to keep poking him with cunning instigations. It was as if Cheeseman knew which buttons to press for Knorx’s stereo to keep playing his songs. And he wasn’t using a remote control. He was right there pressing the brown Tempest. Muckraker is unsure if Cheeseman danced to the Knorx hits but is certain he enjoyed himself.

Press: “Satane”. Press: “Idiots”. Press: “This case”.

Press: “Oh, yes that case”. Press: “The DPP this and that”. Press: “Blah, blah, blah and blah”.

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Cheeseman was playing Knorx like DJ Boots on the decks.

At some point you hear that Cheeseman was no longer playing his favourite hits but requests from people who had given him a list of songs before he met Knorx.

Cheeseman’s motive for recording their conversation doesn’t matter now.

It matters now who got the audio clips, snitched and leaked. It all boils down to what he said and to whom he said it.

Molelle would still have been in trouble even if he had been heard saying those words while in his shower. He put himself in that position by allowing his mouth to go wild.

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He should have kept those thoughts locked in his mind until uttering them had no consequences for him. They are words you only mention as history: “Eish, I used to work with devils and idiots”.

Muckraker is not saying he should have never said those words now. Of course, he could have driven out of Maseru to find a mountain to tell those things.

If a molisana had secretly recorded his chat with the mountain, Knorx would have said what he tells his ancestors is his business. He could have also claimed he would have gone bonkers if he had not told someone or something about his bosses.

Many have a boss they believe to be a moron or evil. Yet they keep their mouth shut about such truths to keep the job and the peace. The smart ones know it is their job to cover up the idiocy of their bosses.

That is how they earn their keep and promotions. Otherwise, what is the point of an idiot boss keeping a smart employee who doesn’t know how to protect them from their idiocy?

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It is your job to protect your boss from his idiocy. And you have no business discussing your boss’ idiocy, especially with his enemies. Venture into such reckless discussions and you will be jobless with your smartness.

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Muckraker

The mouth

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WE start the year with a little story of the dangers of a reckless mouth. Muckraker will write it as if you are listening to your granny’s tsomo. The point of it all will be revealed before the kettle boils.

So here goes.

Some two centuries ago, Czar Nicholas I, the ruler of Russia, faced a rebellion from some renegades who demanded democracy and other things. Qoi!

The Czar reacted with a brutal crackdown that included the chopping of heads.

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Kondraty Ryleyev, one of the rebels, was caught and sentenced to death by hanging. On the day of his hanging, the trapdoor opened but the rope around Ryleyev’s neck broke.

In those days, a rope breaking during an execution was considered a miracle which compelled the authorities to pardon the convict and spare the convict’s life.

With rope broken Ryleyev, thinking he had been saved, stood up, looked at the crowd that had gathered to witness his execution and shouted: “You see, in Russia they don’t know how to do anything properly, even to make rope”. A messenger was sent to the Palace for the Czar to sign Ryleyev’s pardon.

The disappointed Czar was about to sign the pardon when he asked the messenger: “Did Ryleyev say anything about this miracle?”

“Sir, he said that in Russia they don’t even know how to make rope,” the messenger replied.

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“In that case let us prove the contrary,” said the Czar as he tore up the pardon.

Ryleyev was hanged the next day and the rope held tight until he kicked the bucket.

Muckraker read that story from Robert Greene’s 48 Laws of Power. The anecdote accompanies Law 4: “Always say less than necessary”.

Ryleyev would have lived to see another day if only he kept his tongue on a short leash.

Did Muckraker hear you say qoi?

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The story is not about what happened to a reckless mouth in Russia two centuries ago but what is happening to Knorx Molelle because of his mouth.

Muckraker’s grandfather used to say the three things that get a man in trouble are the mouth, the hands and the ‘member’. The hand does things to things and people. The mouth says things. And the ‘member’…we all know the David story. Molelle is a victim of his mouth.

Nka! Ichuuuuuuuuuuu!

muckraker.post@gmail.com

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