Muckraker

The dead donkey

Published

6 years ago

June 21, 2019

THE Dakota Indians in the United States have always known that when your donkey is dead the best strategy is to dismount.
The trouble with politicians in Africa, especially in Lesotho, is that they refuse to accept that the donkey is dead.
Instead, they scurry around for solutions that involve the dead donkey. They will buy new whips to flog the donkey, hire a new rider or appoint a special committee to look into ways to resuscitate the donkey.
When those fail, they attempt to reclassify the donkey as unconscious, harness more donkeys to improve the dead donkey’s efficiency or appoint the dead donkey to supervise other donkeys.
When all fails they will find a consultant to tell them that the dead donkey is cost effective because it doesn’t require much upkeep.

They will keep hiring and firing consultants until they find one that recommends that they continue mounting the dead donkey because replacing it will be expensive.
Uncle Tom’s dead donkey is the old executive committee.
That donkey died in February but he has been scrambling to revive it for the past five months. And that dead donkey has been playing a central role in its revival. It is has been advising Uncle Tom on ways to breathe life into it.

“Get the first aid kit. Hurry up, old man,” the donkey has said to Uncle Tom.
“Get me a specialist doctor.”
“Antibiotics will work wonders.”
“Come on, no doctor has declared me dead yet.”
“Ask the court to look at the circumstances surrounding my so-called death.”
“Maybe we should negotiate the terms of my demise.”
The old man of Lesotho’s politics is hoping for a Lazarus moment.

Last week three High Court judges declared that this donkey is as dead as a dodo.
But against all advice and wisdom Uncle Tom remains glued to this ghost of a donkey, furiously whipping it.
Some have opined that perhaps this dead donkey has long ceased to belong to Uncle Tom. They say it’s in a chariot driven by some stunner somewhere in Maseru West.
They might be right but the fact is that it’s Uncle Tom who insists that he has the title deeds to this dead donkey. It’s therefore his dead donkey to beat to resurrection.
And he has defended the dead donkey with fury.
Just this week he fired off letters to dismiss a couple of living and healthy donkeys that have been waiting for him for several months.

These are the same donkeys the courts have certified to be alive and kicking.
Yet Uncle Tom remains adamant that his dead donkey is still relevant to his journey.
This is despite that Ntsekele, the man who is the head of the dead donkey, had quickly conceded that the donkey is finished.
So here we are: the lashing of a perished donkey continues. Uncle Tom’s arrogance would be hilarious were it not doubly sad. He is clutching at straws to save the dead donkey.
Muckraker’s grandpa used to tell her that when you are tired you don’t think straight.
“Take a breather my girl,” he would say.
Uncle Tom is tired and is making silly mistakes.
Sometimes he forgets his own words.

Three weeks ago he was telling his followers that Professor Mahao is not a member of the ABC. This week he conveniently forgot those words and announced that he was expelling Professor Mahao from the party.
He is firing Professor Mahao from a party he never joined. Phew!
Someone pass Muckraker a hankie.
All this selective amnesia is aimed at resurrecting his dead donkey.

Unable to resuscitate the donkey, Uncle Tom is now spanking every one.
Last week his whip landed on Court of Appeal President Justice Mosito.
Justice Mosito was basking on a heater at his office when his clerk brought in the letter from Uncle Tom. Uncle Tom was telling him, in a few words, that he should leave his job at the National University of Lesotho (NUL) if he wants to remain president.
You could see from the letter that Uncle Tom was accusing Justice Mosito of moonlighting as the president of the apex court.

He said when he appointed him he was under the impression that he would relinquish all jobs in the country.
His reasoning is that Justice Mosito’s impartiality is likely to be compromised if he holds other jobs.
To be fair, Uncle Tom has a point.
The only problem is that he is pretending to have just discovered that Justice Mosito also works at the NUL. Where was he all this time when Justice Mosito was freelancing as Court of Appeal president?
In any case the whole process seems to have been contrived to put the judge in a fix.
It is a notorious fact that a Court of Appeal president is not paid a salary but an allowance based on cases heard.
If there is no session then he doesn’t get paid. The fewer the cases he hears, the smaller the allowance. That simply means that the Court of Appeal President is like a freelancer.
You have to hand it to Uncle Tom for his ability to miraculously forget the things he says.

Muckraker vividly remembers what Uncle Tom said in two affidavits to support Justice Mosito’s legal fight to be reinstated as Court of Appeal president.
In those glowing affidavits Uncle Tom waxed lyrical about Justice Mosito’s industry.
He said the judge was so resourceful that he could work as a judge and still teach at NUL.
May we never forget that Uncle Tom literally moved mountains to reappoint Justice Mosito after he was spanked out of office by Size Two.
It was a fight Uncle Tom was determined to win at all cost.

You would be forgiven for thinking that Justice Mosito had promised to surrender all his allowances to Uncle Tom when he was reappointed.
Yet barely six months later Uncle Tom is brandishing a threatening letter.
It’s a joke bereft of a punch line. It’s not funny but you laugh because the one who shares it looks utterly silly for having thought its funny.
Uncle Tom must feel betrayed by Justice Mosito. He fought to reappoint Justice Mosito when everyone thought it was a lost cause.

He must have thought Justice Mosito will return the favour by being a pliable judge like that sister who is now specializing in having her judgements overturned by the Court of Appeal.
Muckraker always knew that Uncle Tom would regret this decision.
Now watch as Justice Mosito bites their behinds.
Ouch!
Justice Mosito cannot be domesticated.

Nka! Ichuuuuuuuuuuu!

muckraker.post@gmail.com

Muckraker

Jackals are hunting

Published

6 days ago

January 13, 2025

The Post

Cheeseman’s recording of the conversation might border on the criminal but that doesn’t matter to those who have been looking for a stick to spank Molelle.

They have been waiting for this moment and are seizing it with both hands.

You can hear the excitement in their voices as they discuss Molelle’s impending downfall. Knorx’s misery has triggered a collective orgasm.

Watch them now as they hunt in packs like jackals.

Even those who sang Molelle’s praises a few weeks ago are queuing to lynch him.

We are masters at kicking those who have fallen from grace.

The Law Society of Lesotho has been startled from years of slumber to race out of its bed with a long sjambok in hand.

They have written a letter to Uncle Sam pretending to have discovered, through a “whistleblower”, that Molelle was appointed the DCEO boss without being admitted as a legal practitioner in Lesotho.

It’s unclear why they needed a ‘whistleblower’ to discover something in their records for years. Muckraker suspects they always knew but were either too timid to say or waiting for this moment.

They are saying it now to give the impression that they sneaked in a kick when Molelle was being spanked out of office. It’s a desperate scramble for relevance.

By claiming that they didn’t know Molelle was appointed the DG without being admitted as a legal practitioner the law society is exposing itself as a proudly incompetent organisation.

That much is clear from their brazen admission that they needed a ‘whistleblower’ to whisper to them something on their notice board or drawer.

Muckraker is amused by the battalion pretending to be irritated by what Molelle’s mouth said about Bro Richard, Sister Majara and Uncle Sam. They are borrowing offence as if it’s them who were labelled idiots or satane.

Bro Richard, Sister Majara and Uncle Sam are capable of getting irritated on their own without prodding and instigation from self-hired mourners, chancers and bootlickers.

Molelle himself knows what is supposed to happen in the next few days.

He can only extricate himself from this mess by proving that the audio clips were manufactured and his voice is either AI-generated or from someone who can expertly imitate him.

Nka! Ichuuuuuuuuuuu!

muckraker.post@gmail.com

Muckraker

Pressing the Knorx Stereo

Published

6 days ago

January 13, 2025

The Post

As she listened to Mollele’s audio clips Muckraker could hear a man devoted to waffling his way to an abrupt end to his tenure as the DCEO boss.

Cheeseman only had to keep poking him with cunning instigations. It was as if Cheeseman knew which buttons to press for Knorx’s stereo to keep playing his songs. And he wasn’t using a remote control. He was right there pressing the brown Tempest. Muckraker is unsure if Cheeseman danced to the Knorx hits but is certain he enjoyed himself.

Press: “Satane”. Press: “Idiots”. Press: “This case”.

Press: “Oh, yes that case”. Press: “The DPP this and that”. Press: “Blah, blah, blah and blah”.

Cheeseman was playing Knorx like DJ Boots on the decks.

At some point you hear that Cheeseman was no longer playing his favourite hits but requests from people who had given him a list of songs before he met Knorx.

Cheeseman’s motive for recording their conversation doesn’t matter now.

It matters now who got the audio clips, snitched and leaked. It all boils down to what he said and to whom he said it.

Molelle would still have been in trouble even if he had been heard saying those words while in his shower. He put himself in that position by allowing his mouth to go wild.

He should have kept those thoughts locked in his mind until uttering them had no consequences for him. They are words you only mention as history: “Eish, I used to work with devils and idiots”.

Muckraker is not saying he should have never said those words now. Of course, he could have driven out of Maseru to find a mountain to tell those things.

If a molisana had secretly recorded his chat with the mountain, Knorx would have said what he tells his ancestors is his business. He could have also claimed he would have gone bonkers if he had not told someone or something about his bosses.

Many have a boss they believe to be a moron or evil. Yet they keep their mouth shut about such truths to keep the job and the peace. The smart ones know it is their job to cover up the idiocy of their bosses.

That is how they earn their keep and promotions. Otherwise, what is the point of an idiot boss keeping a smart employee who doesn’t know how to protect them from their idiocy?

It is your job to protect your boss from his idiocy. And you have no business discussing your boss’ idiocy, especially with his enemies. Venture into such reckless discussions and you will be jobless with your smartness.

Muckraker

The mouth

Published

6 days ago

January 13, 2025

The Post

WE start the year with a little story of the dangers of a reckless mouth. Muckraker will write it as if you are listening to your granny’s tsomo. The point of it all will be revealed before the kettle boils.

So here goes.

Some two centuries ago, Czar Nicholas I, the ruler of Russia, faced a rebellion from some renegades who demanded democracy and other things. Qoi!

The Czar reacted with a brutal crackdown that included the chopping of heads.

Kondraty Ryleyev, one of the rebels, was caught and sentenced to death by hanging. On the day of his hanging, the trapdoor opened but the rope around Ryleyev’s neck broke.

In those days, a rope breaking during an execution was considered a miracle which compelled the authorities to pardon the convict and spare the convict’s life.

With rope broken Ryleyev, thinking he had been saved, stood up, looked at the crowd that had gathered to witness his execution and shouted: “You see, in Russia they don’t know how to do anything properly, even to make rope”. A messenger was sent to the Palace for the Czar to sign Ryleyev’s pardon.

The disappointed Czar was about to sign the pardon when he asked the messenger: “Did Ryleyev say anything about this miracle?”

“Sir, he said that in Russia they don’t even know how to make rope,” the messenger replied.

“In that case let us prove the contrary,” said the Czar as he tore up the pardon.

Ryleyev was hanged the next day and the rope held tight until he kicked the bucket.

Muckraker read that story from Robert Greene’s 48 Laws of Power. The anecdote accompanies Law 4: “Always say less than necessary”.

Ryleyev would have lived to see another day if only he kept his tongue on a short leash.

Did Muckraker hear you say qoi?

The story is not about what happened to a reckless mouth in Russia two centuries ago but what is happening to Knorx Molelle because of his mouth.

Muckraker’s grandfather used to say the three things that get a man in trouble are the mouth, the hands and the ‘member’. The hand does things to things and people. The mouth says things. And the ‘member’…we all know the David story. Molelle is a victim of his mouth.

Nka! Ichuuuuuuuuuuu!

muckraker.post@gmail.com