MUCKRAKER has been having sleepless nights as she struggles to understand why the NMDS (Notorious Manpower Damage Secretariat) always does the right thing after NUL students strike. Then this week she stumbled upon the answer.
It has been right there all along. Unlike everyone else in this country, the NMDS doesn’t use electricity from the LEC, Eskom or Muella to power its computers, systems and lights. The computers have a different source of energy.
Pay attention because Muckraker will not repeat this. The computers at NMDS are powered by the kinetic energy of the striking students at NUL.
As the students generate the energy as they chant, march and scream at the NUL gate. That energy is then fed into a special power line that connects the NMDS offices in Maseru to the NUL gate. The more the students march and sing, the more the energy is transferred to the NMDS for its computers and lights.
The NMDS likes the NUL strikes because they give them more energy. It is precisely why the NMDS always pays the grants as soon as there is a strike. They have decided that they need two strikes per year to generate enough energy to last them from January to December. And they schedule expertly.
One strike in the first half of the year and another in the second half. Just before and soon after winter. When the energy is low and the NMDS’ systems don’t work, its managers just have to create some confusion to trigger a strike.
The students will strike and the NMDS systems work and they quickly pay the students. Last week, Florina Rakeketsi, the NMDS’ director, came up with some silly excuse that they would not be paying full stipends.
She knew students would be furious but didn’t care because she wanted her strike and she got it. For some reason, the strikes at Fokothi and other institutions don’t generate the same energy. That is why their strikes never trigger efficiency at the NMDS.
Real power comes from the NUL strikes. The director appears to have made it her vocation to cause strikes at NUL. There must be a special bonus she gets for causing strikes. Her officers too know she will reward them with sterling performance appraisals if they cause a strike.
In fact, it’s part of their job. The target is two strikes per year. No strike, no bonus or promotion. You may be wondering where Muckraker got this idea. Well, the Eureka moment arrived as she watched Minister Mochoboroane trying to explain how a student was killed by the Lesotho Murderous Police Service during the strike.
He mumbled some mumbo-jumbo before looking tongue-tied. At that moment it was clear that it was neither grief nor shock that stole his words. He had been shocked by the huge amount of electricity that the NMDS had received from the strike at NUL. So high is the energy that the NMDS officers are thinking of buying electric cars.
Why worry about fuel prices when there is free electricity from NUL? Soon the NMDS might be selling surplus power to the LEC, thanks to Florina’s smarts. Oops, did Muckraker say Florina is smart? I lied. Sorryyyy! She is a living testimony that people should just learn to let some jobs pass them. Look how she is now behaving like a deer caught in headlights.
Nka! Ichuuuuuuuuuuu!
muckraker.post@gmail.com