MUCKRAKER is having the last laugh as Uncle Sam shreds the rule book of democracy with vim. There is mayhem in the RFP as those who have failed to make it to the list of Uncle Sam’s A Team throw tantrums like kids denied lipong-pong.
You could see the pain on their dejected faces at a press conference they held to moan about their treatment. Muckraker thought she saw one of them wiping a tear.
To add chillies to the wounds Uncle Sam waited until some of the candidates had won the primary elections before picking his team. It’s as if he wanted to send a crude message by making it excruciating.
What is becoming clear is that this is not about meritocracy but Uncle Sam’s whims. You don’t know whether he is using intuition or he gets the message in his dreams.
Either way, it’s a brutal method. It might as well be that he is either rolling dice.
Ke mang ea jeleng
Bohobe ba Ntate
A lala a phinya
Bosiu kaofela
Lekopo-kopo tuee!
Or maybe it’s Biblical. “The last shall be first and the first last,” Jesus says in the Gospel of Matthew. Uncle Sam must have been laughing as he watched the aspiring candidates unleashing sharp elbows on each other in the primaries.
He must have chuckled when he received the final list of the candidates from the constituencies. He then took out a red pen, kicked out his shoes and started editing the list. Moving number six to number one. Number five to number one.
Then he called the candidates to tell them what he had done before making the announcement. Muckraker hears the RFP was kind enough to hire a psychologist to help those edited out of the list to cope with the trauma. Ouch!
Those whose minds could not be repaired by the shrink were consoled by promises of some posts somewhere in the government. A government that might not be formed. It’s some special kind of therapy. You deny a person the right to represent the party after winning a primary election. When they scream you send them for counselling.
If they are still sore and sour you promise them some position in a government that you are not even guaranteed to form.
Muckraker suspects the psychologist was not there to help the candidates recover from their disappointment. Rather, it was the party’s way to evaluate why those candidates thought they could just walk from the primaries straight to the national election without being scrutinised by the leader.
What were they thinking? Who did they think they are?
They are now asking Uncle Sam to explain the criteria he used to select the candidates. That just shows why they need counselling.
Who are they to ask what an owner does with his party?
Did they really think their few dozens of votes in the primaries would matter to the leader?
One excitable fellow who won a primary election after giving his constituency M500 000 for electrification did not make it to Uncle Sam’s list.
Uncle Sam was teaching him a lesson never to use his peanuts to buy votes.
He cannot ask for a refund because the villagers delivered their end of the bargain by electing him. What happened when the results landed on Uncle Sam’s desk is not their business. It serves him right. This is a year of political lessons.
Meritocracy is being redefined. Thebe-ea-Khale is among the best minds in the RFP. Don’t laugh. This is not funny. Minds are going to be lost here. Things are rough.