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Muckraker

The stinking Bidvest deal

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GOVERNMENTS have a way of parading their madness in the most spectacular fashion. That the politicians that man governments right across the world are a demented lot has never been in dispute.

History settled that by providing ample evidence: from the wars they started to some of their inane decisions that have put the world in trouble.
There are times when you wonder whether politicians have had a collective surgery to replace their brains with manure. At times it looks like they are going out of their way to bungle things.

Every day they show a fanatical commitment to pushing the frontiers of crass idiocy.
No specie is as stubborn as a politician when it comes to plodding ahead in full speed towards self-destruction. They have a special way of mutilating themselves.
In this melee all we have to do is to stand by and watch as they gallop to the cliff. To try to stop them is an exercise in futility. You will probably sweat buckets and get nasty bruises but work done will remain zero.

Just watch the spectacle.
It is also advisable not to spur them on because they might just think they are being funny. Nothing is as dangerous as an idiot who thinks he is being humorous.
It is well known that if you ululate for a mad man at a funeral you must brace yourself for the time when you will have to stop him from molesting the corpse.
The established wisdom is that mad people must be left to their own devices. They live in their own world, one far removed from reality.
They come back to their senses at their own pace and time.

The government had such a Damascene moment this week when it accepted that it was wrong to sign the Bidvest deal in the first place.
The coalition government says it is now cancelling the scandalous deal with Bidvest. At what point they realised they were swimming in a septic tank full of maggots, we may never know.

It is however as clear as a pig’s behind that reality has dragged them by ears and eyelids back to their senses. Down, down, down, they have climbed from their high horses. Oops, I lie.
They are not climbing: they have fallen with a thud. Boom, boom and boom! That is the sound of ministers falling with a thud.
And that must be a painful landing for bums accustomed to be chauffeur-driven in those Mercedes Benz and Toyota Prados.
Finance Minister Tlohang Sekhamane was handed the task of announcing the death of the Bidvest deal and he did a decent job of it.
He said the deal was too expensive for government and country. Now the government wants to hire vehicles from Basotho, he said.
This was fine, except that he sounded as if the cancellation was an achievement of sorts for the government.
The people condemned the Bidvest deal when it was still a mere idea. From the onset they called the deal what it is: a stinking skunk.
Since then they have watched in dismay as the government held on to this diseased baby. Politicians in government have kissed and cuddled it for months as the people fumed at their lack of decency.
Sister Khaketla adamantly refused to accept culpability for the mess. When Thuso Litjobo called her a thief of money she screamed for an apology and when her demands were rebuffed she sprinted to High Court, tears welling her cheeks.
She was obviously wasting her tears on the wrong issue: more like a spoilt brat moping over a missing toy when the house is burning.
Instead, she should have been wailing over the national coffers she had been emptying to fund that Bidvest deal.
As Sekhamane spoke at the press conference you could see a tired man. It was clear that raising millions every month to feed Bidvest had taken its toll on him.
Here was a man who had come face to face with the real money-munching machine called Bidvest. It kept wanting more and more like a machonisa.
Khaketla had left a live ‘snake’ in the finance minister’s office and Sekhamane was running for his dear life.
The fatigue he showed at the press conference can therefore be easily explained. Here was a man who had been running since he came into office.
Here was a man who had been forced to resort to robbing other departments to pay Bidvest. Here was a man who was having nightmares over the Bidvest deal. He was squirming. At least he can now get some rest.

So why did it take the government more than a year to cancel this horrible deal. Well, the simple answer is that they are politicians.
Yet that will not aptly answer that question. The real answer is more complicated. Muckraker suspects that after admitting the deal was a mistake some people kept it alive to buy enough time to line their pockets.

Since it was laden with sleaze all they had to do was to keep it breathing until they have loaded their pocket to the brim.
The other explanation, equally compelling since its coming from Muckraker, is that it is the Bidvest people who pulled the plug for strategic reasons. The reputational damage to Bidvest had been immense. It is seen as a beneficiary of a corrupt act.

It could also be that Bidvest knew no government that will come into power after June 3, even this one if it comes back, would sustain this deal in its evil state.
In any case, with the government coffers under lock and key due to lack of budget there was a possibility that Bidvest would not be paid for the next three months.
And there was no guarantee that whoever was going to come into government would pay the outstanding debt. If you are naïve you could say the government cancelled the deal because it had suddenly come back to its senses.

The truth though is that this sounds like an election campaign strategy. Pull the plug on a crazy deal and get Basotho to provide cars.
That way they will think the government is empowering them. And if a new government tries to undo the arrangement it will face the wrath of the people.

Health Minister ‘Molotsi Monyamane must be ruing the day he opened his mouth to speak about the rubella vaccination debacle.
He is reported as having said those pictures of sick kids showing bad reactions to the vaccine were either manipulated or of children from somewhere north of us.
For that he was justifiably bludgeoned in the public court. As he later admitted, that sounded as insensitive and callous. Muckraker will not add to his misery. He is already flying in his own fat.

What Muckraker will not accept is the silly notion that there was a deliberate plan to poison Basotho children.
You have to be the king of morons to accept that a whole ministry would do that. There are buffoons on Facebook trying to peddle this nonsense with gusto.
Some lawyers are getting up to ambulance chasing antics to make some coins from these unfortunate incidents.

Yet anyone with even a cursory flirtation with Form Two science knows that reactions to vaccine are as common as corruption in this country.
You don’t need to have seen the door to a school to know that people react differently to medicines. Even sangomas will tell you the same.

The point here is that the ignoramuses spreading alarm and despondency because they have access to smart phones and cheap data should just zip it.
Cheap data is in the hands of rumour mongers and charlatans who speak before they think.
Where others are using social media to market their products they are busy advertising their idiocy. Rascals!

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Muckraker

The not so noble Ashraf

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English has never been our mother. It abandons us in times of trouble, especially when cornered. The best time to judge a person’s eloquence in English is when they are in distress. Walim Ashraf, the man accused of stealing M7.4 million, lost his English bundles last week when he was caught in a blue lie.

His bail hearing was going well until a DCEO investigator told the prosecutor that he was emitting lies with a straight face. He had told the court that his three children and wife were in South Africa. He even added that children were schooling in South Africa. That sounded plausible and the court appeared to have taken his word for it until the prosecutor announced that his wife and three children were in fact in India. Bingo!

Caught in the lie, Ashraf mumbled an apology before telling the court that “it was a slip of the tongue”.
In other words, his tongue has slipped and called South Africa India.

At that moment, Ashraf believed that claiming that your family is in South Africa when they are in India is a “slip of the tongue”.

The phrase he was looking for is: “I am a pathetic liar”. A slip of the tongue is a minor mistake in speech, not a fictitious relocation of your family from India to South Africa. Muckraker will not pass judgement on his charges.

Suffice to say Ashraf is an Arabic name meaning ‘most honourable one’ or ‘very noble’. Tongues that claim to have slipped when they are lying are not so noble.

Nka! Ichuuuuuuuuuuuu

muckracker.post@gmail.com

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Muckraker

Its squeaky bum time

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Uncle Sam and his leadership should not be surprised that the opposition is now grabbing them by the collar. They played into the government’s hands by making hasty and emotional decisions.

The suspension of the three MPs has now triggered a backlash that might topple the government.
The opposition is smelling blood and getting ready to pounce.

Even if Uncle Sam’s government survives the next storm, the opposition will keep coming. They are possessed by the spirit of destruction.
The next few years will be tsunami after tsunami.
Nothing motivates a politician more than the prospect of finishing off a wounded opponent.
Muckraker is tempted to say the RFP still has a chance to regroup and fight from one corner but that would be false. The trust has been broken and the wounds are too deep.

Those who have been suspended want revenge. Mediation is a waste of time. Nothing is ever forgiven and forgotten in politics.
Muckraker’s humble advice to Uncle Sam and his people is that they should stock up on painkillers because there are more pounding headaches on the way.
Keep some pills at home, office, office toilet, back pocket, handbag, wallet and even bra.

Mapesela will not rest until he is back in government and proudly messing up things.
He is beating war drums.
Uncle Sam and his people had better learn to play dirty because this is a rough game. Bones will be broken and bodies bruised.

Nka! Ichuuuuuuuuuuuu

muckracker.post@gmail.com

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Muckraker

Rough riders

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Spare a prayer for Uncle Sam as he walks on the glowing coals that is Lesotho’s politics. Call your prophets, fake and real, because the demons of Lesotho’s politics are at the gates.

Bring both fire and water because these are not Mickey Mouse demons. Leave the pigs out of this one, I beg. We still need fariki after exorcising the evil spirits. As usual, you need the powers of a potent wizard to decipher why the opposition is gathering wood for a pyre to burn both the government and its leader. That it’s such a hotchpotch betrays the fact that the reasons are contrived rather than real.

Even if they are real, none of them justifies toppling a government so soon.
And none of the opposition leaders could claim, without the usual dose of embellishment, that the so-called ‘reasons’ have come from the people. There is no scale to weigh the people’s disgust at Uncle Sam and his people.

There is no reason to pretend that those plotting to whip Uncle Sam out of office are doing it for the people who voted less than a year ago. This is just another group of excitable and power-mongering zealots cooking up reasons to justify their attempt to instigate a power grab.

You hear from their flawed logic when they exuberantly claim that it is their right to bring a no-confidence vote against the government.
They pull out that trump card even when no one has accused them of any criminality. They do it to sanitise and deodorise their brazen usurpation of the people’s power.
It’s their way of justifying why a group of less than 50 people who lost an election now has both the power and the nerve to topple a government supported by thousands of Basotho. Oops, that’s a lie. This a decision of less than 10 political leaders who are now shopping around for other MPs to support their decision.
Yes, toppling a government in parliament is not illegal. Yes, the opposition can do it. But the pertinent question is whether this is what Basotho want and it’s good for Lesotho.

Who has told the politicians that this is what the people want? Who did they consult, when and how?
Yes, Uncle Sam is fumbling and dithering. Yes, some of his ministers behave like rabbits caught in headlights on the Main North 1 Road. True, some of the appointments stink of nepotism.
But all these are nothing new or outrageous. We have seen worse from the very people now screaming their lungs out. It’s not as if the opposition now has a low tolerance for tosh.

After all, they are the very masters of tosh. This is not about service delivery or some transgressions.
This is about power and resources. Not power to serve Basotho. Not resources to share with Basotho. It is about the power to shove in their armpits while they munch the resources. That is why they keep telling us what Uncle Sam has done wrong instead of saying why they think they will do better.
They are not saying they will screw us softly this time around. No promise to go easy on the looting. Nothing about limiting the number of rats in the granary. They don’t even have the decency to promise to move from F to E.

As far as they are concerned, we just have to stand by and watch while they kick out Uncle Sam and then cheer as they march back to do more of the same. This is the contempt they have for the people. We elect governments that MPs have the power to topple willy-nilly while claiming to be acting on our behalf. We have been screwed before but these are rough riders. Phew!

Nka! Ichuuuuuuuuuuuu

muckracker.post@gmail.com

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