MASERU-BLIND, sodomised and humiliated. *Thabo’s experiences seven years ago pain him so much that he does not even want to talk about it.
His experience is a wake-up call to the world that even men can be victims of rape and other forms of gender-based violence.

Thabo’s story comes at a time when Gender Minister Likeleli Tampane launches 16 days of activism against gender-based violence, which started yesterday and will end on December 10.
In the seven years since the sexual incident, the 25-year-old Thabo said he never disclosed his story to anyone except to his colleagues at the Lesotho National League of Visually Impaired People (LNLVIP).
The association told his mother recently.

“Shame and emotional trauma exhibiting internally through fear prevented me to disclose,” he said, noting that he has and continues to experience grief, anger, shame and fear.
He also said fear of being called weak contributed to his non-disclosure. Being welcomed in the association made it easier for him to disclose his experiences, he said.

Thabo said he has been emotionally abused since his childhood because of his visual problem but in 2013, he was sexually violated multiple times in a forest.
He said it was on a winter morning and a bit dark when he learnt that someone was walking behind him.
“I didn’t mind him as it was early and I assumed he was going somewhere and I was unaware that I was the target,” he said.

He said he was dragged to the forest and sexually violated.
“While at it, he said what he did to me was payback since my late father, who was a police officer, once arrested him,” he said.
He said he doesn’t know the identity of the perpetrator, but he can still hear his voice.

“We spent the whole morning in there and he released me in the afternoon with the threat that should I disclose what had happened to anyone he would kill me the same way he killed my father,” he said.
“Knowing well how my father died I got scared.”

At home he came up with a false story when his mother asked him about his whereabouts on the day of the incident.
Thabo said since then he started hating boys and he started dodging school and lying to his mother.
“I was afraid to tell her the truth,” he said.
He said he tried to commit suicide in 2015 but failed.
He said his male friends assumed he was gay or feared girls since he couldn’t ask girls out.

“They tried to prove the point and by doing so my anger towards males increased. I don’t want any male in my life,” he said, noting that the experience is affecting his school performance.
Thabo did not perform well in Grade 12 last year and he is supplementing some subjects in his home district of Mafeteng.
“It’s unfortunate that my school work was affected.”

He said his mother found out about the ordeal through the association and, surprisingly, she has never even asked him how he was coping.
“It’s very sad and I wish we could at least talk about it and maybe I will feel better,” he said.
He said he has been trying to move on and accept what happened but “I just can’t.”

“I don’t know what to do anymore. I am trying but it gets difficult every day because that one session of counseling didn’t help me,” he said.
“I need more of that or maybe join a club of male victims where we can open up freely”.
He said he didn’t report the incident to the police because he has heard that police officers laugh at male rape victims.

However, he said, his association has been supportive since they learnt about it around October last year and they often ask how is he is coping.
Gender Minister Likeleli Tampane said this year’s 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence theme is ‘Abuse Exists in Families and Should be Fought Together’.

Tampane said the aim is to raise awareness about abuse to Basotho so that they can prevent and avoid it as well as report such crimes.
She said she is planning to review and amend existing policies to respond to the rising challenge.
Tampane said the Covid-19 pandemic has led to increased abuse in families because of depression caused by loss of jobs and living together for lengthy periods, which is something not common to many.
She said reports show that rape and the murder of women and girls have increased.

“This shows that the country, especially the gender ministry, was affected as we deal with victims directly,” she said, adding that “we have not rested since the lockdown because of the high rate of murder and rape.”
She said Leribe has the highest incidents of abuse, forcing ministry officials to visit it “numerous” times to comfort affected families.

“We are concerned about millions spent to deal with abuse consequences that include amongst others health services, counselling, law and temporary housing and this is the money that the country was supposed to use for other development issues,” she said.
She urged all Basotho to take part in the fight against gender-based violence.

“Working together we will be able to win this fight,” she said.
Tampane said Basotho men should do away with a custom that views it as wrong for a man to cry, using an idiom that says monna ke nku h’a lle feela (a man is a sheep and therefore does not cry easily).
She said boys and men should learn to open up.

“It is still a challenge for them to speak out though it is their right,” she said.
The Lesotho National Federation of Organisations of the Disabled (LNFOD) Executive Director, Advocate Nkhasi Sefuthi, said people with disability experience violence and abuse in their homes, on the streets and at institutions.
“They are regarded as easy targets by perpetrators,” he said adding that “some of them cannot communicate properly which sometimes leads to inadmissibility of the evidence of such witnesses in court.”
Advocate Sefuthi said they were pushing tirelessly for the enactment of the Disability Equity Bill (DEB).

Police spokesman Senior Superintendent Mpiti Mopeli said currently the law does not specifically define gender-based violence so that there can be a specific charge to it.
“It has to be clarified for us with certain elements,” he said.
He said saying gender-based violence is high in the country is a statement without a basis because there is no legal explanation of the term.
“The challenge for us is we don’t know how to differentiate it from other crimes.”

He added: “Our statistics are not accurate as each case is dealt with using available laws and this makes our job difficult.”
He said the police usually hand out posters with contacts, conduct awareness campaigns on different media and at public gatherings to make people aware of gender-based violence, even though it is not spelt out clearly in law.

He said NGOs do assist with awareness workshops or meetings.
“They are effective but they still need to be intensified for victims to disclose. It’s not easily done as they need time. It is not a once off thing,” Senior Superintendent Mopeli said.

He said there is a dire need for communication platforms, especially for men to be able to open up and refrain from the monna ke nku h’a lle syndrome.

Social Development Principal Secretary, ’Mantšenki Sekete-Mphalane, said the ministry offers psycho-social support that includes counselling to help victims heal.
“While the victim is undergoing counselling sessions, we support them either by giving them advice while the police work on the case,” Sekete-Mphalane said.

She said they are raising awareness through radio programmes and public gatherings.
“Feedback has been positive to date since cases are now reported in larger numbers unlike in the past,” she said.

Advocate Mabela Lehloenya of the Federation of Women Lawyers (FIDA) said it was disappointing that there is no GBV law to date as perpetrators can take advantage of the loophole.
She said they are updated about the causes of the delays by the Gender Ministry “but still there is no specific law for GBV.”

“We still have a long way to go because culprits are not waiting on law,” Advocate Lehloenya said.
Advocate Lehloenya said the absence of a clear law “is very challenging” and forces the use of other laws such as the Penal Code Act, Sexual Offences Act, and Marriage Act or Child Protection Act.
“Things are currently all over the place and it is very unfair to abuse victims.”

She said the enactment of the law would be helpful as it would be a single codified document that deals with gender-based violence.
“We are working on programmes geared towards empowering, counselling and supporting victims.”

’Mapule Motsopa